Made Crystal Clear
by RaNd0Mk1D8o3I
Summary: A Human. A Gem. An alien that's both. Traveling through worlds with an impossible objective, our friend befriends the Crystal Gems and decides to stay over to see how life lives. However,the continuity is a little... broken. Follow our friend as situations left and right become just a little more twisted up.
1. Chapter 1: Intro

**What is up, peoples and persons?**

 **Welp. Here I am. Hopefully, no one saw my last fic, lol. But just like it, I have remade this one a slight bit and rebooted it, so to speak.**

 **But for real, this was mostly an idea that was floating around and I wanted to try it. Hopefully, it reads okay and you readers like it. Just know, it's rated M for foul language and very detailed descriptions, but there is no lemon whatsoever. So... keep that in mind, rofl.**

 **All the legalities apart, I don't own Steven Universe or any of it's affiliates; all rights exclusive to Rebecca Sugar.**

 **Enjoy.**

* * *

"Whoa!" (Crash!)

A cliff is where the portal sent me. Crashing into it, I start rolling down a bit and eventually stop at the bottom, sand now covering my form. The dust settles after a while. Though, I'm gonna be honest…

"Ow… damn, that hurt…" I get up, holding my head. Gonna have this headache for a while…

"Well, that is what you will get when going through any unknown portal," LYNX snarks, smirking at my misfortune. I start shaking any sand of me, certain that a few grains are in my eyes. "At least we're safe now. There probably isn't any need to go anywhere. I can't detect any harm nearby."

"That's good." I sit and lean back on the rock, happy that we're good. Wow, am I tired… "Do you know where we are?" I look around and see that I'm at a beach, a cliffside, actually. There was only some space before you hit the water.

She brings up some panels of details, some flying fast, some corrupted, and some broken. "Considering we didn't get to make a perfect portal, the fact that the terminal became damaged during transport, and that none of us looked at what the program was, it'll take some time to decipher everything. In the meantime, I recommend you- uh- um…"

"What?" I ask. "Something on my face?"

She didn't respond, but slowly nodded. "And your forehead. And your hands… and chest..."

Hmm? "What are you talking about?" Only now do I hear something wrong with my voice. Looking down…

What. The. Fuck!?

Tits!? "I'm female now!?"

Much to my surprise, yes, I am. Grabbing a mirror from… my purse? Oh, my God…

She was right.

My skin had become a light blue, almost the same as my lightning. Okay, whatever, but my concern is the gem that's on my forehead, a clear octagonal cut with my clan insignia for a facet. My now purple hair was brushed back with a braid on each side that connected to the back, almost looking… like a crown… if it only connected to the back of my head and went down even more with just a tie. Speaking of length, it reaches past my shoulder blades.

My clothes changed as well… it looks like a qipao style dress if it was cut to show the purple gem I have that has a heart facet. It was a dark blue with white lining the edges.

Standing up, the skirt is cut into four… flaps? A front one, side ones, and a back one with overlaps the side ones, I guess, for modesty, despite the fact that I'm wearing what seems like a pale pink spandex shorts and that they barely reach my knees at least. A light lime green sash adorned my waist, wrapping into a long bow in the back. The purse was actually a pouch remade with a small strap over it and connected to my waist in what looks like a delicate chain. Though tugging on it told me that it's actually pretty strong.

Nothing much more surprising going further down, just shoes that look like ballet flats that wrapped around my ankles… for some odd reason.

More gems were on the back of my hand, one light green butterfly on my left and a blue cat paw on my right. There was even a red one with a crown on my back. But other than that, they had no other property than aesthetics; I can't feel anything from them nor can I get anything like a lot of people I know.

What I really wasn't prepared for was my size.

Jesus Christ, when I say my first wife has bigger tits than the girls I see, I apparently wasn't lying. I didn't size them because they were perfect on her, but Goddamn, they look huge at this angle. And my hips and ass! Jeez!

Maybelle really had it going on, huh? And Rhaspherias wasn't left out. Hell, the spandex looks like it's straining on my thighs.*

LYNX does a quick roundabout and takes measurements, despite the fact that I didn't even want to know. And to add insult to injury, despite the fact that she can measure things very well just with eyesight and her tech, with incredible accuracy might I add, she still had the gall to use a holographic ruler. A few, actually.

And I thought my dry remarks were bad…

"So that's 32H, 28, and 37, quite an excellent figure," she teases. "Wow, even I'm jealous." I'm pretty sure not even my wives have that exaggerated of a figure in either number… seriously, I'm hourglassy as fuck.

I blush. "Shut. Up. Just please give me a briefing of our location."

"On it, Matthew." Stop laughing!

The date on my Receptor** says it's give or take… 2 A.D.?

Hmm.

But I'm pretty sure you're wondering why I'm going on the way I am. Well. It's kind of a long story. See-

"So what do you think, Rose?" said one.

"I think this is a fine place to have a home," said another. Crap, not another confrontation…

I think the history lesson will take a queue.

I eventually decide to get close to the cliff wall and attempt to sneak away… if I had some place to go. The sand disappears as the water and rock take over on my left, and the voices are coming from my right.

Sand shifted with footsteps coming closer. However, they stop.

"Company." A stoic voice.

"What is it, Garnet?"

"There's someone or something ahead…"

Shit. I use a small Shadow Morph*** to hide the majority of my being. Only a small bit of my eyes could be seen. The rest is covered in what looks like black ninja wraps. Jumping up, I try to see if I can find a ledge to land on. There's not.

"Up there!" Damn it.

A spear was thrown my way, barely giving me time to dodge. I jump away from the cliff, running sideways as far as I can. However, a whip or something cracks the rock and I'm forced to land. I would've counterattacked but if I'm being honest, it's been weeks since I slept and ate; I'm very weak right now.

So instead, to save some energy, and maybe a headache, I stop Shadow Morphing and let the wraps fall over, but my focus was thrown by the gauntlets that were suddenly missiles to my face. Deflecting them, I-

(Stab) "Augh!" Ow!

Looking down, a wide blade was piercing my chest by some… lady with… pink ringlets..?

Finally, the shadows drop, showing my face and my bleeding wound. The others gasp at the notion.

"Can't give someone a break, huh..?" I say, falling down…

* * *

"Are you sure, Rose? Who knows if it's a corrupted gem?" Hmm?

"My thoughts exactly, but we will not know until we find out."

"Why don't we bubble it? It seems a bit easier than waiting."

"She didn't poof…"

"Shh, wait, she's coming to."

The same voices from earlier…

"Where… where am I?" I try to open my eyes. It's kinda dark…

"We'll be asking the questions, thank you," I hear a slightly cynical voice say. Though now that I feel kind of rested…

A quick summon of my Double Barrels**** and I'm immediately up, jumping back and ready to send bullets at my attackers. Though why we're at the top of the cliff now seems funny to me.

"I don't think so."

Four figures, the same ones from earlier, stood in front of me. One, my striker, was a heavyset female, with long poofy pink hair in ringlets, a white flowing dress adorned. She seemed the most normal of all… if not for the gem where her navel is supposed to be.

Another stood next to her, a stick compared to the first. White pale skin, a gem on her forehead, some ballerina outfit with a star in the middle, and a rapier like sword in hand.

The third one was very short, almost a kid, but I know better. Purple in tone, silver like short hair, a gem on her chest, a tank top with a shawl and leggings… and a look of curiosity.

The last gem looked very uninterested, leaning back onto a tree with her arms crossed. Red skin, a square afro, shades, a bodysuit of some kind, and the gem is probably on her back or a hand or something since I can't immediately see it.

But they seemed like no real harm despite the weapons now summoned.

"Who are you guys?" I ask. "Why did you attack me?"

They didn't answer quickly, almost as if looking for something.

"Are you… a fusion?" the leader of them asks. Well, I'm thinking leader. Call me biased if you want, but leaders I meet usually hold a sword.

Plus, she seems to be the one they respect. And she's also the tallest compared even to me.

"(Confused) Fusion? What? No… I'm a singular entity if that's what you mean? Just-" One of them attempts to get closer. The small one.

"Easy there, we mean no harm, or whatever," she says. I click back the hammers.

"Sorry, but that's not enough for me. Put down your current and any other weapons you have and then I might trust you."

They seemed reluctant to do so but relented. One of then nods and proceeds, the rest following. A few swords, a spear, a whip, and gauntlets were put down.

"Now you."

I take a second and nod. Releasing the hammers and removing the magazines, I set my guns down and step away to say I mean no harm… at least, it does where I come from. That's why I asked them to do so first.

"There we go. I suppose you have questions. So do I. I'll be nice and go first. First, worry not; I don't want to be enemies. Secondly, I'll forgive you for stabbing me. Trust me, this isn't the first time I was attacked first in fear of me attacking them."

They seemed to understand.

"Okay… well, our introductions are in order. I am Pearl." Forehead gem.

"Amethyst." Kid gem.

"Garnet." Stoic afro.

"And I am Rose Quartz, leader of the Crystal Gems. I have to ask, what gem are you?" Tall and stout… sorry, I had to say it.

Also, called it.

"I… 'm not sure. LYNX, scan me, please?"

"Affirmative." The others were surprised that a hologram suddenly appeared, looking at every one of my gems. The way she does things forces me to try not to laugh, though that's probably her actual way of teasing me. I never ask and besides, it amuses me. She keeps making and throwing things away to examine. "(Magnifying glass) Higher refractive index than most… (sheet of something) improbability of tarnishing… (hammer taps) almost as hard… (color wheel?) despite impossible coloring… you are… (Ding!) a Moissanite."

Never heard of them. The Gems seemed impressed somewhat.

"And that's..?" I ask.

"Second hardest material known to humankind, just under Diamond and past Corundum. Your Moh's scale hardness is 9.25 and index is 2.64 and a silicone carbide compared to a pure carbide Diamond of 10 and 2.49."

"Moissanite… it has quite a likeness," Rose states.

"Huh. Intricate. So let me ask, just what are you guys? You have rebellion written all over you."

They recoil at the phrase, well, mostly Rose and Pearl. I wondered what that was about. But then they told me that they are part of a group who defies from something called the Diamond Authority, a hierarchy in which everything is in its place; literally nothing can be it's own. So… a communistic monarchy?

"... and we were recently searching for a place to make a home at until we stumbled onto you, Moissanite," Rose finished.

"Ah, well, then. Don't let me get in your way of that," I state. "As much as I would like to help, I have my own things to accomplish as well. Please don't take it the wrong way; I have a… past of my own which isn't… well…"

"I understand. Though, I will say you are welcome to visit again anytime." The others nod. Going down, I attempt to grab my pistols… until I realize there's one missing.

"Where is it?" I ask, suddenly worried.

"So what is this thing exactly?" Amethyst goes, pointing that thing at a random direction. I freeze up when she somehow correctly aims it and shoots it. The recoil was actually strong enough to not just push her back, but force her to roll.

I wince at the action. No one else seemed to have a good trip on those things due to the immensely high recoil and speed.

The others gasped that my weapon was actually that strong. Those are my regular bullets too; I didn't even change the magazine for any hollow point, armor piercing, or elemental bullets either.

"Those are my weapons, guns. They won't be invented on this planet for a few more hundred years, but where I come from, we already have this technology." I point to my Receptor. "The one you shot was the left side of the model I call the Double Barrels." I show then the right side, where the safety, ejector, and even design was mirrored.

"Oh, are they similar to light projectiles?" Pearl asks.

"In a way. Using an ignited primer and powder fuel, metal pieces known as bullets are propelled into your target." I kept explaining them the physics of said ranged weaponry, even going as far as showing them my other weapons.

I also have a sword, double edged, that's been with me for millennia and a compound bow with multiple arrow types.

"Well, this is all very impressive, Moissanite, but I feel that I must ask: where did you come from if you have technology that isn't even an idea or concept to these humans on this planet?"

"Funny you should ask. See, I come from a different planet and… well, it's going through many problems. I traveled via a damaged teleporter and landed here. And now we're in this situation. But as leader of one of the planet's royalty, I must venture out and see if I can get what I need to make things right again." I should leave out the other facts…

"You're not going to go to Homeworld if you travel out, will you?" Rose asks, worried.

"If you don't want me to, I won't." Unless, of course, something forces my hand. But they don't need to know that. "In any case, I think it's time I get out of your hair. Whether in 5 days or years, who knows when I'll be able to accomplish my goal."

"What exactly is your goal?" Garnet asks.

"I'm looking for something or someone… I'm not sure if I can find it here, but I'll do what I can. "

"Shouldn't you be looking in space and not just Earth?" Amethyst asks.

"You never know. LYNX, detection mode, please."

"Standing by."

I look outward and sigh. "Well, I'm off. It was nice to meet you Crystal Gems… even if it was by you attacking me."

They shared a nervous laughter, except Garnet who only smirked. "Good luck."

I nod and jump off into the sea, not knowing what awaits. I can tell just by look alone that they know stuff that I should, but maybe I shouldn't think on it too much. Thinking about it, I probably might not meet them again. Either because I'm too far or it doesn't hit me nor will it happen.

"Found anything, LYNX?" I ask, still gliding through the air.

"Nothing yet. Awaiting orders."

Wish me luck…

I'm gonna need it.

* * *

 **So how was it? Good enough? Well, as we all know, review, like, etc and, nah, I'm not asking for all that, ha. But yeah, hope you enjoyed and I'll be coming up with another chapter pretty soon. My uploading times will be random at times, maybe in a few days, maybe in a week or two, I don't know, right? In any case, I'll come back with another and hopefully you'll be here to read it next time.**

 **Also, as part of the reboot, I also put a few asterisks to add a few extra little details. So, here it is.**

 *** Ignore these names. It's just the monologue that she's going through in her thoughts.**

 **** Think of DBZ's Scouters, but it's just a Bluetooth like bullet shaped device that uses interactive holograms for various purposes such as mapping, statistics, communications, and etc that houses a bobcat A.I. gal pal, LYNX, who she herself is a permanent holograph who helps Moissanite a lot.**

 ***** I'll be using a little something that involves elemental powers. Either in the next or the following chapter, I'll be explaining more in detail.**

 ****** Also, a lot of custom weaponry will be shown. Luckily, either for your convenience or imagination, I'll just be saying what they kinda look like. So, Double Barrels. Twin Glock 18C. Semi or auto, 16 or 64, respectively. They can also conjoin together to make a jerry rigged RPG-7 knockoff.**

 **RaNd0Mk1D8o3I**


	2. Chapter 2: Returning

**Welp. here we are again. Hopefully you're still here. Heh.**

 **In any case, here's chapter two.**

 **All the legalities apart, I don't own Steven Universe or any of it's affiliates that isn't my original content; all rights exclusive to Rebecca Sugar.**

 **Enjoy.**

* * *

2,000+ years later…

Goddamn it…

Millennia has gone and passed. Kinda used to it. Not that I'll age anyway.

But wow, am I tired.

I spend the whole time looking through the Earth, even as it modernized into the regular way of living that I was born into. I will say, though, that seeing history spot on was actually pretty entertaining. However, some of the things were written quite differently compared to how they really happened.

I probably shouldn't say anything; some of you guys may question too much of yourselves, too much on your true history, or just paranoid. I wouldn't blame you, but i would blame myself for allowing you to know.

Then again, we live in an infinite number of possibilities in which can run for all eternity. I'd tell you this version's, but again, no.

Plus you may have some questions. Sorry, but I'll answer them later.

Walking down a road, I'm starting to wonder if I'll ever reach civilization again. It's been a while since I left the last town and I haven't even seen so much as a delivery truck.

"Hey, where am I anyway?" Hmm?

"'Welcome to Beach City'."

Huh, a small town next to a beachside? Seems pretty homely, actually; a nice place to raise a family, seeing as how it's all simple. Right now, I'm at the intersection with the Beach City Highway that stops at Chestnut Road and leads to Sussex.

To the left was a warehouse of sorts and straight down and to the right of me are plain houses. Hmm. Going down south, meaning to the right, I see that it looks like a very nice neighborhood. A bit a ways down, I reach a small boardwalk that borders the buildings and the sand.

To the left is the small chain of buildings with various shops. The one I'm closest to seems to be an information and visitor center. Maybe I'll go there for something.

I should consider going to that.

But right now, maybe there's a place I can rent or something. I just wanna crash. Or… rather, eat first; something actually smells good.

I walk into an establishment which said 'Fish Stew Pizza'. Admittedly, it isn't a name I'd choose, but meh, I'm hungry.

"Ah, hello, miss," I hear. I wouldn't blame anyone for saying that, but I always groan on the inside. It was a teenage girl donning a white apron, light cyan shirt, dark gray leggings with lighter gray rolled-up cuffs, and black shoes.

Oh, it's a waitress. "Hello. How are you?"

"Doing great! What'll you be having?"

Don't be surprised if she isn't reacting negatively to me or anything. Over time, I was able to actually change myself into something a little closer to human standards. Using a bit of metal, I fashioned myself something of a necklace and bracelets to sort of "hide" my gems. I was also able to hide my forehead one with a simple well placed bang and my back one just with my hair, which is now blond and has gotten considerably longer. I still kept the braid crown as I felt it added a certain appeal. And I was able to become a slightly tan color rather than blue to blend in a bit further.

Also, since I have an autumn feel to this hair, I'm donning an orange sundress and white pumps. Kinda clashes with my "jewelry", but I digress.

"I'll have a pie with… everything you're allowed to give me on it." Yep. That seems enough.

"Well, sheesh, have a little pizza with your toppings, girl." Ha. That's funny. I'm guessing she appreciated my giggle. "It'll take awhile to get done. Anything during while you wait?"

Hmm… "Have any milkshakes? If so, I'll take chocolate."

"Coming up." She leaves to prepare what I asked. Sure, it seems like too much, even for someone like me, but give me a break; I haven't eaten in over two months…

Yeah, ever since my home got… fucked up beyond all repair, I had to get used to the extremes. My elemental powers help me balance everything I need biologically, but food is always appreciated.

Plus, the mere fact that minerals taste like wood is an added reason.

"So, are you new around here?" She comes back. "I haven't seen you around before."

"Well, yeah, I actually just came upon this little town. Really nice place too."

"Yep, that's Beach City for you. I'm Kiki. You?"

"Oh! Uh…"

Wow. I sorta never really had human contact before so I kinda got stumped. Uh… screw it.

"Moissanite Allison Walker. But you can just call me Moira."

"Moira, huh? Nice to meet you!" Handshake. "Then what brought you here?"

"I've been traveling for a while and here seemed like a nice place to settle for now. I'm thinking of maybe renting or even building a house somewhere here."

"Hmm, I wouldn't know much about that. Maybe you could talk to our mayor. He could probably help you out." Sounds like a plan. "In the meantime, here you go." Ooh, shake.

"Thanks." Mmm… Chocolate…

(Rumble…)

Hmm!?

That's not normal…

(Heavier rumble…)

"(Mumble) That's not natural…"

"Hmm?" Kiki goes. Oh.

"Hey, Kiki, I'll be back…"

I leave my shake there and walk out, my sword and revolver* ready. My clothes change back to the flap dress I had earlier and my hair went back to the purple tone it had. However, I didn't like that the dress was neck straining, so I cut that out and made it so that it looks folded over. Think a foldover bardot but with sleeves actually reaching my shoulders.

Gives too much a window, but I kinda have no smother choice. It's made of a good blend of something since it cannot be torn, burned, ripped, or otherwise easily. And yet, it breathes like Egyptian cotton.

No one was around so I felt that I was safe taking these weapons out.

The rumble comes back, almost with an ire. Nothing is moving within my eyesight and I'm getting more paranoid by the minute.

"Maybe try the beachside, Moira?" LYNX suggests, teasing on the nickname. "Sound waves center there."

"LYNX, shut up." She only giggles in response. But I take her advice anyway. Running to the sanded environment, I stop to detect anything with my seismic senses and the winds. A small wind due east which gets quickly blown by a westward.

Aha.

Going down the shoreline I reach a cliff going up. It housed a lighthouse at the top, but nothing seems out of the ordinary there. Running past it, I see something huge! Almost as if it was a caterpillar? It was flailing and thrashing about, sending sand, rocks, and even a slight bit of water around. 3 figures were trying to combat it with near failing results. Gauntlets, a whip, and a spear are apparently not enough. They were standing behind what I think is a rock hand…

"(Somberly) Cookie Cat, he's a pet for your tummy…" I hear.

What the…

A kid?

He was kneeling next to me, making me wonder how the hell I didn't even see him. Curly black hair, a red shirt with a yellow star, blue pants and sandals. There were wrappers of a cat shaped snack around him.

"Cookie Cat, he's super duper (Shouting) yummy!" He stood up, pulling an extension cord with him that's attached to a mini fridge. "Cookie Cat! He left his family behind! Cookie Cat!" He swings it around, I think to try to electrocute the worm thingy.

And it works. As soon as the fridge breaks, exposed wires begin to short him out, effectively stunning him. Though the kid is actually saddened by the notion.

"Now available, nowhere…"

It was soon that his attack was apparently not enough. Wait, it looks at me? Once it gives off a screech, it immediately tries to attack me.

"Bring it!" I stand my ground. Preparing my sword, I jump back, sending a few bullets to distract or damage it. The former only happens. "Come at me!"

(3rd)** The others come out from the rock. Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl immediately come to Steven's aid.

"Steven, are you okay?" Pearl goes, kneeling down.

"Yeah, but… who's that?" Steven pointed to the other girl in view.

"I… don't know… Garnet? Amethyst?" Gunshots were sound and sword clashes with the tail.

"No idea."

"Why are you asking me?"

"I just thought-"

"Look!" Steven pointed.

(Moissanite) It chases me again. I put away my revolve and take out my Scatterpoint*** to attempt to subdue it. A couple of pumped buck shots deflected off. No effect… huh? Whoa!

Once it got close, it rose and started spitting acid of some sort. Before it got close, I bring up the sand to block some of it, using my Water abilities to try and grab some of it.

"Have a taste of your own medicine!" Jumping up, I throw it to it's face, it's own body apparently not resistant to it's poison. Now's my chance. Yelling, I jump higher than it and swing down my sword to slice through it, stabbing my sword into the sand in the process. The result was a poof.

Honestly, a bit anticlimactic.

I remove my sword and put everything away, satisfied with my exercise for the day. The smoke eventually disappears.

"Mark that one up, LYNX."

"Marking, Matthew."

I walk back to the other to see if they're okay. They seemed to be. After all, they didn't get affected by the acid.

"Farewell, sweet Cookie Cats," the kid says. I didn't even see him next to me. Again. "I'll always remember the time we spent together. (Rumble) Shh, hush now." Cookie Cat… wasn't that an ice cream?

"Are you crying?" asks a… purple girl.

"(Shouting) Only a little!"

"Hey, kid, there's no need," I say, getting something for him. Kneeling down, I smile when I hand him what could possibly the last Cookie Cat in this planet. Tried it once and it was good. I had another one that I froze in a block of ice. I even stole the recipe.

Also, to be nice, I make a small attempt to fix his fridge. Just a few wires were exposed and the casing was a bit cracked, but it turned out okay. Only the paint is a bit messed up. His ecstatic expression only warmed my heart.

"Aw, thank you, miss!"

I nod and look at the others, about to say something that-

"Ow." Something hit my head and believe it or not, forced me to fall. It landed on my… well. Chest.

Huh, it looks like the ball that was inside it's mouth, the eyeball looking thing. Picking it up, I sense a bit of energy and movement, almost as if it hand a mind of its own…

"Now… what to do with you?" I wonder aloud, not sure of what. It seems that if I let this go, it'll regenerate.

"We'll take it from here," I hear. Looking back it was a woman. Tall and almost as a cartoony hourglass as I do, a reddish brown skin, and… a cube afro..?

She looks familiar is all I'm saying.

"Oh. Here you go." I hand her the orb, a bubble of sorts almost immediately covering it and being sent away somewhere. "You're welcome." I proceed to stand up.

"Thank you. Now, may I ask, who are you?"

"Uh, Moira. Have we met before?" I had to ask that. I mean, I haven't exactly had a lot of contact with almost literally anyone, sans LYNX, so…

"I would've remembered. But…" She froze at seeing the gems I stopped hiding a while back. "It's you."

"Ah, yes," LYNX interrupts, "Garnet. It took a while, but I finally regained my old data banks. How have you been?"

She takes a moment to gasp… very stoically.

"Moissanite."

"Whoa! Are you another Gem?" the kid asks.

To be honest, I didn't know what to respond. If I know better, I should've said the truth. But something told me to stay quiet. "Y… N… kinda. I am a Gem, but I'm also human."

They gasp at that. Why?

"You're just like me!?" Stars appeared in his eyes. Now I see his bellybutton gem.

Fuck it. "(Quickly) Yes! (Normal) Yes, a hybrid. Moissanite Allison Walker. So… You're Steven?"

"Yep! And they are-"

"Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl, I know," I finish. "I've met them before."

The other two immediately remember me. Wow, have they changed…

"Moissanite," Pearl goes. Well, not much changed. Amethyst, however…

"Oh, hey, right! You're that gem from the last two thousand years!" she exclaims. "How've you been?"

"Sharp." The cylinder to my revolver comes out, allowing me to reload. This one is my usual go to gun and I usually shoot it with my left since I'm right handed with a sword.

Using MagLev****, I remove the spent cases and store them away for later. Due to my scarce ammunition capabilities, and since I prefer not leaving a mess or trace of where I've been or want to relearn all about bullet physics, I keep the casing and then just remake whatever primer or powder needed with the bullet itself recollected or remade as well.

Worry not, I have at least a few million left. I just do that in my spare time to make sure I have some versatility. Meaning hollow points, armor piercing, incendiary, elemental (you'll see what I mean), and even focused EMP*****.

Trust me. In some places, I need it.

"So, tell me, what's been going-"

I stop when I feel a certain energy… from someone I remember… and don't see here.

Steven?

One look at his gem and…

I got hit with a memory…

The others got concerned.

"Moissanite?" Pearl asks.

"Call me Moira." A flick of the wrist and the cylinder closes. "Simpler. But (Exhale) am I exhausted. So, if you don't mind, I'll leave for now. I'll be around town but I haven't a place for myself yet. If you'll be kind enough to allow me to come back for a brief moment, I-"

"You can bunk with us!"

They look at each other. Almost as if debating something.

"Uh… really? Well… I'd appreciate any hospitality you will be willing to give me even at an expense. But right now, I'll be at Fish Stew to eat. Steven, you're welcome to come if you want, but maybe this is something you need to talk to them with as well. When you reach a decision, I'll be there."

I walk away after a small goodbye. Hopefully they say yes. It isn't that fun sleeping underground or even in the woods.

But still. As much as I'd appreciate their kindness, I'm not sure how I can pay it back.

* * *

 **Well, that's another chapter come and gone. Now that we're in the actual plot, we can see just how things will mix up, now won't we? ... maybe, lol.**

 *** Magnum Super. S &W 500. 8 magnum rounds. However, it's usually shot with her left hand since she's right handed with a sword, so it opens to the right instead of left. **

**** I'll be doing this now and then to keep things "interesting", lol**

 ***** Scatterpoint. Benelli M4. Pump action or semi. 8 shell tube 16 gauge buck or slug.**

 ****** Yeah, this wasn't the chapter, rofl, sorry.**

 ******* This is most of the ammunition that she has. No, the weapons aren't stopping yet.**

 **RaNd0Mk1D8o3I**


	3. Chapter 3: Laser Light Cannon

**What is up, peoples and persons?**

 **It's me again, back at it with yet another chapter of Made Crystal Clear. I will be honest, I didn't expect the progression of people following this, but I appreciate it nonetheless. But yep, chapter 3 is here and I'll be shaking things up for the eponymous Crystal Gems as best as I can.**

 **Oh, and please excuse the profanity, lol.**

 **All the legalities apart, I don't own Steven Universe or any of it's affiliates that isn't my original content; all rights exclusive to Rebecca Sugar.**

 **Enjoy.**

* * *

It hasn't been the best introduction, but at least we have a little information now. They allowed me to stay where Steven is as long as I teach him about his own powers… or do odds and ends here and there. The couch isn't the most comfortable thing I've slept on, but it was better than the sand, I'll give it that.

He has such a cozy home too, if you can look past the whole warp pad and interdimensional room portal they have in the back. As well as the fact that they live behind the cliff completely and are not within view of the town at all. Oh, and the washing machine is in one of the statue's hands, which is over halfway up the frickin cliff.

Either way, it's fun.

But there lies a problem: I don't know his powers.

I've seen only some Rose Quartz' powers before, like her shield, floating, and some other third thing, but to help teach them to her son… well, that's gonna be kinda hard. Unless they tell me what they know, this is gonna be a challenge. Not to mention that they think my varied arsenal are my Gem weapons.

Should've been more subtle, to be honest.

In any case, I don't have to worry about it too much. Right now, they decided to go get something they call "fry bits". I think they just mean the parts that are small and not caught when deep fried. I would've joined, but the pizza from yesterday actually was very filling.

I'm sitting on one of the hands of their statue, trying to get a comfortable position. Millennia of trying to find what I need and avoid my enemies had really taken a toll on me.

Though relaxing will have to wait. I felt a slight atmospheric change and it alarmed my senses. Looking around, I assemble my XTM-00* to its sniper mode* and see what was causing that.

"LYNX," I start, "could you please figure that out?"

"No need," she says, pointing to the sky. "There's your answer." What the..?

"The hell is that thing?"

"A meteorite? I can't tell; something is scrambling any signal from coming towards it."

"Can't be; that thing is too big. Plus, if it's scrambling your signal, it must be a machine. Come on, we gotta get to the Gems." They might know about this.

Getting to the beach side, I see that Garnet and Pearl are already investigating it, looking through it via telescope.

"This is bad…" Garnet goes.

"Just look at the _size_ of it; I had no idea there things were so big!"

"Garnet! Pearl! Moira!" Amethyst runs to us, carrying Steven in the process. Huh. The shortened version sounds better than the whole gem name, to be honest.

"We saw," Pearl replied. "Some of us are _trying_ to protect humanity." Protect humanity, hmm?

"Where were you guys again?" I ask, only glancing at them before moving back to the meteor.

Amethyst finally put Steven down. "Eating fry bits." She says it so innocently, it causes Pearl to sigh.

"Oh, can I see?" Steven asks. He peers into the scope. "Whoa! A giant eyeball! Awesome!"

Looking through my own scope, yep. That's a giant eye. It just opened up.

"Not awesome, Steven!" Pearl scolds. "It's a Red Eye!"

"A Red Eye!? It's going to infect us all!"

"Uh… That's _Pink_ eye, kid," I say, still looking around for any other discernible features, "and none of us have it, so don't worry."

"No, we **should** worry!" Pearl states. "That thing is going to crash into Beach City and crush us, along with these poor oblivious innocent people! We have to stop it!"

"What are we gonna do?" Steven asks.

"The only thing powerful enough to destroy it is a light cannon that belonged to Rose Quartz," Garnet replied, probably using her thinking face since she adjusted her visor.

And wow, that's the longest she ever talked.

"My mom?"

"Ugh, if Rose were here, this would be a lot easier…" Amethyst complains.

"Hmm. Wonder what someone like her would do with something like that…" I mutter, wondering if I should shoot it. I rack the bolt just in case. The casing going in the chamber have mere a bit of piece of mind.

"I know," Pearl laments, "but she's not, and the cannon is missing. We'll have to find another solution."

Steven perked up. "If it belonged to my mom, I bet my dad knows where it is!"

"You have a dad?" I say, looking back at them.

"Yeah! He could help us save the day!" Huh.

"Greg is… nice, Steven," Pearl replied, hinting something to me. Just her expression sent me for a loop. "But I doubt Rose would entrust someone like him with such a powerful weapon." Greg, huh?

"Your dad's a mess, Steven," Amethyst bluntly said.

"Geez, girl, harsh," I start, beginning to aim correctly. "It isn't light, but I may just be able to damage it somehow. Cover your ears; this may get loud."

I shoot a few rounds into it, using the bolt to realign myself and to reload. No effect. After the fourth, I flick a switch and start shooting it semiautomatically. Nothing.

"Hull slightly scratched," LYNX says, looking with her own binoculars. I sometimes want to tell her that things like that are sometimes inappropriate, but it still makes me smile.

Okay then.

My XTM-00 can go from one thing to another all at a custom .316 caliber, but I made and save this certain modification for special occasions such as this. Replace the barrel, adjust the receiver, increase the stock… and we're done.

But wow, is it heavy. Why?

"Alright. Here it is: custom designed 32 millimeter rifle with armor piercing high explosive rounds." It's a tiny fraction just above 1.25 inches.

My guns are all similar in shape to real world ones, but their functions are very variable. It isn't named the Extreme Tactic Modifier for nothing. When in regular sniper mode, I can go from semiautomatic to bolt action if I wanted to and the other modes, except pistol, can go to other separate modes. However, the 32mm is pure bolt. Mostly because…

"Is that a light cannon?" Steven asks, stars in his eyes. The others have a shared expression, some more confusing than others.

"Similar to it. It's powerful, big, and **probably** what we might need. Just stand back and cover your ears again; this time, it'll be _really_ loud. LYNX, on your mark."

They proceed to do so, Pearl using hers to provide extra hands for the young one. It's an armor piercing explosive incendiary round; those things are vine t

"Standing by." She proceeds to make four holographic crosshairs align themselves for all the specs messed, such as distance, winds, and etc, especially since I'm gonna jump up. To get ready, I load the chamber, the sound being very slow and heavy. Once they're aligned…

"Pull!"

I jump and spin simultaneously, flipping the gun as well to make sure I get a good grip and aim. Aligning myself with the crosshairs, I shoot.

(Cannon fire)

"Yah!" The loud gunshot resonated and even forced a sound wave to appear, the recoil shoving me into the cliff in the process. It was strong enough to make an indentation of myself into it.

Eventually the round hits it, resulting in a bright explosion. Smoke surrounded the Eye and and we couldn't see it at all. But those rounds aren't designed to explode like that; they should hit it, delay the explosion, and then break it from the inside. And burn it.

Looks like I need new ballistics.

Breaking myself from the cliff, I eventually reach the ground, looking to see if anything happened.

"Strange, that usually works…" I say, seeing the smoke disappear quickly. It cracked, but not much. Didn't even slow it down.

"Hull seems to be cracked, but no other extensive damage…" LYNX is scratching her head.

They all stood there in disbelief.

"It was still a good try, Moira," Garnet consoled. "Ready?"

Amethyst nodded and was grabbed by the taller Gem. Together, they jump up and spin, gaining speed. A second of aiming, and the purple bullet is thrown, screaming as she flies. However… it was for naught.

She thunks into the hull, not even adding any damage. The whole thing made me force myself not to laugh. Amethyst soon hit the water.

"Uh… I'm gonna go," Steven says, walking away.

"(Still in disbelief) Okay… good luck…" Jeez, Pearl.

He leaves somewhere. Hmm, it might probably be a good idea to stay with him.

"I'll, uh, look after Steven," I say, starting to walk back.

"Go and help him out," Garnet replies. I nod. Running to where Steven was going, I eventually catch up.

"LYNX, take a break," I say. "Maybe it's time we flow with the others for now."

"Affirmative." Her hologram disappears.

Steven stopped at a van that said… Mr. Universe?

"That's your dad in there?" We seem to be in front of a car wash. The name 'It's A Wash' only screamed it so much.

"Yeah! Dad, it's me!" Steven started banging on the car. "You in there? Come on!" He started climbing the vehicle.

"Easy there, Steven," I say, ready to catch him should he fall.

"Don't worry, Moira. Dad! We have to save the world!" He jumps a couple times… "Dad!" before tripping on the roof. The smile he gives as soon as the alarm goes off almost made me laugh.

Suddenly, someone busts out. "Who's there? I have a waffle iron!" And it's half of one? Eh, still a considerable weapon. I mean, frying pans work almost the same. He had taupe hair styled in a mullet that goes down to his waist, with a large bald spot on the top of his head. He was wearing a white tank top, with long or short gray pants or jeans. He has a tan line on his shoulders and feet.

"Dad, it's me!" Steven exclaimed from the top still. His father looked back with a tired expression, almost as if waking up.

"Steven?" The guy used his chip to turn off the alarm. Steven finally comes down to hug his dad. "I almost waffled your face! What are you doing up so late?"

"Uh, it's only about 7:30," I say, making my presence acknowledged. "Sunset was almost an hour ago."

"Oh! Who's your friend, Steven?" He asks. Finally, someone who doesn't look at my… assets first.

Seriously, can you believe the amount of eyes on me when I went into a rave one day?

"Moissanite Allison Walker, at your service," I reply. "But you can call me Moira. So you're Steven's father?"

He nodded and extended a hand. "Greg Universe. If I seem a bit out of it, sorry; it was kind of a slow day here at the car wash." Handshake.

"Huh. You own it?"

"Yep. So, what's up? Needed to see your old man, pal around, learn some life lessons?" He started playing around with his son, making me smile that he at least has his father here. Steven started laughing.

I know one: never eat barbed wire, no matter how hungry you are and even _if_ you can handle eating metal.

"No! I need the light cannon that belonged to mom, to blow up that eyeball!" He pointed to said eye.

"(Confused) Eyeball?"

" _That_ thing in the sky," I point.

Amethyst was yelling after being thrown at it. However, it doesn't even increase the cracks when she hits it, prompting her to fall into the ocean. Honestly, it made me laugh and be disappointed.

"Wait, is that a magical thing?" Greg asks, now grasped at the full concept. "The Gems told me not to get involved with magic stuff. It could be dangerous or interfere with what's left of my hair."

Nice to see your priorities are in check, Greg.

"But they need mom's cannon. Moira here tried using hers and it didn't work very well."

I look away. "It should've…"

"Wait, you have your own cannon?" Greg asks me. Before I left, I put my gun away so it doesn't raise too much suspicion. The last thing I need is for someone to be snooping into my life.

"Uh… sort of..?" I wanted to explain, but Steven interrupted. "See-"

"You've gotta know where it is, like a cave dungeon, or a cloud fortress, or in a clam at the bottom of the ocean!" Phew. But…

Why a clam?

Greg started closing his doors, but I did get a look of a hanging shirt and what I think are blankets?

Hmm.

"Well, I'm not so sure about all that, but I have an idea of where it might be."

A storage facility? Oh, that's what the warehouse was. U-Stor Self Storage?

Meh. I couldn't create better names of I tried.

It took about two minutes to walk here and frankly, I'm actually impressed. Instead of the whole "lock them away where no one can reach it", it's a simple storage unit that no one would even think to look at.

"A magical storage unit!" Steven exclaimed. And I'm like what's with the kid and magic?

"Heh, not exactly," Greg replies. "But some would say there's magic inside. Well, it's just a shed that I use for things that don't fit in the van. If it's anywhere, it's there." He proceeded to open it.

Whoa…

"Hoard much?" I ask. "Kinda cluttered…" Something fell off to prove that point.

"If I'm going in there, I'm gonna need some gear." Steven proceeds to wrap a flashlight around his head with a sock, tying himself with an electric extension cord in the process. His smile is what really sells it. "Here I go!"

"Good luck in there, kid," I reply, hopeful he'll find it. I turned my attention to Greg, who's holding the rest of the extension. "So you're the mystery guy Rose kept talking about?" Only now do I realize that my arms cross around themselves to what looks like I'm trying to… help support them more…

This feels natural, by the way. And it shouldn't.

"Heh, yep," he says, almost proudly. "Wait, you've been with Rose before?"

"Mmm, sort of. I have talked with her now and then, but it wasn't anything past leisurely conversation. I actually don't know too much about them either…" My instincts are rarely, if ever, wrong… usually. They seem nice, but I'm pretty there are some skeletons somewhere. "But now that I'm here, the others asked for me to teach Steven hone his own powers. I'm guessing they're hopeful that he can reach his potential with me here."

I think I should leave out the half Gem thing.

"Oh. Well, here's to hoping." He gives a warm smile and proceeds to feed the cord inside.

"(Muffled) Whoa, cool! It's like a dad museum in here!" He rummaged through something. "Ah, there you are!"

Really?

"Do you golf?" Steven asks his dad. Oh, he found clubs.

"Eh, if like to think myself as someone some would golf… eventually."

"Never too late to start now," I say, shrugging.

I couldn't hear what Steven was mumbling until he screamed something out.

"Hey! There's a bunch of copies of your old CD!"

"Huh. Wow, I couldn't give those things away. You know, before I ran the car wash, when I was a one man band, I traveled the whole country."

"(Chuckle) I know, dad."

"You were a traveling musician?" I ask, now intrigued.

"Yeah, well," Greg shied from it, "it wasn't that big a deal. I even came here in Beach City to play a concert one day. No one showed up except for-

"An alligator!" Oh, Steven.

"No, it was your mother." Really?

"Ha ha ha, I know."

"You met Rose during a concert… that's kinda romantic…" I say.

"And we were always together after that. Until she gave up her physical form to bring you into the world. I don't know what a magic lady like her ever saw in a plain old dope like me."

"You'd be surprised, Greg." (Crack!) Hmm?

"Uh oh. Dad, I broke a photo." Oh.

"It's okay, buddy. If every pork chop were perfect, we wouldn't have hot dogs." Well… that's an interesting way to say it.

A soft glow emits from the inside. Hmm. Must have found it. I take a look back to the Red Eye, seeing that it's a lot closer than before. Amethyst is flying towards it again, still ineffective and dropping into the ocean.

"Ugh, that thing is giving me the willies."

"Tell me about it." Seriously.

"Dad, Moira, I found it!"

"(Simultaneously) Really?"

"Get the van!"

The order came and done quickly; Greg tied the other end to the bumper and drove forward, the tires screeching due to the massive weight. But it eventually got out… with everything in it. All the items from the inside came out in a box shape before the puff of logic three them to the side.

Sheesh, and I thought my pouch was cluttered… I hoarded many things.

"Great! This thing could save Beach City! We gotta get it to the beach!"

"How?" the father asks once out. "It's too big for the van!" Suddenly, as if it was prewritten, a wagon rolls by, the wheels squeaking a slight bit.

They share a glance before doing something that honestly almost made me facepalm.

Yes.

They put it under the cannon. That thing was not designed for this. Hell, it _just_ crushed it. And yet, they still tie it up with the extension.

Once inside, they begin driving… albeit slowly. I'm kneeling behind the seats, not really concerned for my being.

Again. Slow.

I would've lifted it, but it isn't metal. Nor is it stone…

"Is it gonna be okay?" Steven asks.

Greg shrugs, giving off the hum of shrugness. "If every pork chop were perfect-"

"We wouldn't have hot dogs!"

"Now I want a hot dog…" I state, feeling hungry again. Greg took a second to look at the Red Eye.

"Ugh, that thing is huge; starting to freak me out…"

"Can't we go faster?" I ask.

He floored the thing, the speedometer saying, what, 25? "This is faster!"

"You know, I could help you out with your car after this," I put in. "Probably a bit of transmission work."

"Don't worry, we can make it," the kid goes. "Come on; let's put on your CD." He takes out said object.

Greg immediately got embarrassed. "What? Really? You've heard it already."

" _I_ haven't," I say. I take the disk from Steven and spin it. "As an aspiring musician myself, I would be delighted to hear this." Inserting it into the slot, the music starts. Greg couldn't stop being bashful over it.

A tasty luck comes up, then the lyrics come.

"I know I'm not that tall,

"I know I'm not that smart,

"But (Steven sings along) Let me drive my van into your heart, (Stops)

"Let me drive my van into your heart…

"I know I'm not that rich,

"I'm trying to get my start,

"So let me drive my van into your heart,

"Let me drive my van into your heart…"

"Not bad, actually. Catchy."

We got close to the beach, Amethyst just got back from the water.

"Hey, guys!" The outburst from Steven caught their attention, especially since the cannon is scraping the ground. We immediately got out, getting the cannon closer. The light was getting heavily red…

Pearl was the first to speak. "(Gasp) He really had it…"

"We're saved!" Amethyst exclaims.

Suddenly, the gravity of the situation, literally, started affecting us. The sand and water got sucked into its pull, along with a bunch of other miscellaneous items, and causing things to move. I heard someone nervously trying to avoid debris from the town.

Even my pouch got sucked in!

"Whoa, you're not going anywhere!" Luckily, the chain, despite being thin, was actually pretty strong. The wrapped part didn't leave my waist.

"We have to use it now!" Garnet states.

"I don't know how it works; it was Rose's!" Pearl panicked, looking over it.

"Dad, how do we use it!?" Steven asks.

He shrugged. Then again, I'm pretty sure he didn't see it in action.

"Steven, this is serious! (Realization) The gem. _You_ have Rose's gem!"

Shit, _really_!? No, I thought that was his **piercing**!

Fucking hell.

For God's sake…

"That's it!" Is all Amethyst said before picking him up and rubbing him onto the cannon, in hopes that it'll work. "Come on..!"

"That's not how things can work; he's not a keystone fragment," I said.

"Stop that," Garnet commanded.

"It's no use… Forget it! Just throw me again!" She jumped to the leader's arm.

"That isn't going to work!" Pearl replied.

The gravity got stronger again, this time, pulling both the van and cannon.

"I got this!" Greg exclaimed, making an epic fail in the progress. Unhooking the cannon, the… van moves? "Ugh, wait! Nope, I don't!"

Damn. How heavy is the thing?

"Please work! Unlock! Activate! Go, please!" Steven was pleading to the cannon as if it were sentient. Then again, I have an A.I. who's helped me for millennia.

The joke's on me.

"Everyone's counting on you; you can't just be useless! I know you can help!"

"It's okay, Steven," his father stated, "we'll figure out something else; something even better!"

The kid nearly teared up, but in a positive way. "You're right; if every pork chop were perfect, we wouldn't have hot dogs."

Suddenly, the thing starts to activate.

Huh, a voice activation.

Opening up like a… rose, it gives signs of starting to shoot.

"It's working!"

But only just. It fell forward on its hinges, forcing everyone to gasp. Steven attempted to bring it up but wasn't strong enough. It took the combined efforts of all gems and myself to aim it.

"This is it!" Amethyst exclaims.

"Brace yourselves..!" Garnet goes.

"Fire!" I shout, once the projectile leaves. It gives a familiar shape before rushing towards the Eye and exploding it, returning the light and gravity to normal… but without not getting consequences.

Pieces of it fell towards random directions, almost nailing me on the process. I had to jump and save Steven before it hit us.

"Steven! You just save most of Beach City!"

Geez, Amethyst, so blunt.

"Sorry about that!" He apologized, shouting to someone in the background. Oh, there was a car in the crater?

"(Distant) What?"

"How did you get it to work?" Pearl asked. We finally collected together.

"I just said that thing that dad always says," he replied.

"That thing about pork rinds?"

Garnet put a hand on Pearl's shoulder. "Hot dogs."

"Still a good mechanism," I add.

I notice Greg tearing up.

"Rose…"

The tide was unwelcomed, but refreshing. It reached our waists before we laugh and sigh. However, it nearly took the van.

"My van!" Huh, he 180'd quickly.

"It's okay, dad. If every pork chop were perfect-"

"I _live_ in there!"

Oh.

Good thing too. It probably would've shot again if Steven resaid the phrase.

"Don't panic. Here. (Deep breath)"

Going in under, I reach under and grab the chassis, effortlessly raising it above and bringing it to the sand, hopefully without too much water in it.

The impact sent some of it flying and covered some of them.

"There we go." I dust off my hands and go back, the amazed expressions stopping me in my tracks. "What?"

"Never mind…" Greg replied. "But thanks."

"No worries."

* * *

 **I did only say somewhat twisted, yes? Is it twisted good? Or not twisted enough? Do I like twizzlers?**

 **Is it that important? Lol, probably not!**

 **But thanks so much for reading. I'm not sure when I will post the next one, but I might work double time to get it as a Thanksgiving gift. And sorry that today wasn't the explanation. The vast majority of Moissanite's backstory will be next, I promise... as well as the familiar bag from Wacky Sacks, heh.**

 *** XTM-00 (Extreme Tactic Modifier): a versatile gun which can go from pistol, to submachine, assault, machine, and sniper. Sharpshooting mode: Barrett M82. Semiauto or bolt action. 8 rounds.**

 **It was mentioned somewhere before, but just for the gun nuts and those who have slight interest: they all run on a custom made .316 caliber, just a fraction above 8mm. (8.0264 exactly). However, length differs with each mode. Pistol and sub take 8 x 16mm, assault and machine takes 32, and snipes takes 48. It's probably not possible, but hey, this is fanfiction, emphasis on the _fiction_ , rofl.**

 **I hope you notice a pattern. If someone correctly sees it, I will say so when the time comes. If you do, Idk, you get the Medal of Honor... of Fans... lmfao.**

 **Anyways, I gots work to do. See you next time.**

 **RaNd0Mk1D8o3I**


	4. Chapter 4: Cheeseburger Backpack

**What's up, peoples and persons?**

 **I'm back with yet another chapter to our "new member" of the Crystal Gems. Though hopefully this one can clear up any thoughts you have and probably give peace of mind... if your curiosity reached that far, lol.**

 **But in any case, onto the content.**

 **All the legalities apart, I don't own Steven Universe or any of it's affiliates that isn't my original content; all rights exclusive to Rebecca Sugar.**

 **Enjoy.**

* * *

"So… you're a half gem from another planet?" Steven asks.

The Gems are off on a mission, as they call it, leaving me and Steven alone to talk. They were kinda freaked out by the show of strength that I didn't tell them I had, but they were okay after. I told Steven a little part of who I really am, but that's about it.

"That's the short version of it, yeah," I say. We're at the front of his beach house, just hanging. We were both sitting on the sand looking out into the distance, but he was waiting for something.

"Could you tell me the full one?" he asked, hopeful.

I chuckle at his question and ruffle his hair. "Maybe later, kid. You still have a lot to learn for now." He seemed disgruntled, but relented nonetheless. "Hey, what are you waiting for, anyway?"

"Oh. I ordered something a while back and I'm hoping that it's coming today." Huh. I can get with that. "(Singing) Hey, Mister postman, bring me a post, bring me a post that I love the most."

Suddenly, as if on cue, someone comes in, carrying a huge mailbag. His attire consisted of a light blue button up shirt with an envelope embroidered on both sleeves, a white shirt beneath it, cobalt blue shorts, a messenger satchel with an envelope embroidered on its flap, and a pith helmet. He also wears a pair of white socks under a pair of red shoes with white lining. A kid.

Well, compared to the people who do this job. He's what, like 17 or something?

"(Gasp) My song came true!" He started running to the guy, prompting me to follow. "Do you have a package for me today?"

"Hold on, let me see what I have here…" The mail guy started rummaging through his bag. "Did you order a loaf of bread with a stamp on it?"

"No." Obviously.

Who does that?

"Did you order a jury summons for R.J. Finkle?"

"Dude, he's 12," I remind. But I chuckle anyway due to the name. Heh, Finkle.

"(Chuckle) That's not me; I'm Steven."

"Oh, right, right, right, Steven!" He finally got it correct. A small package came out. "Here it is, Steven Universe."

"Ha! This thing is gonna help me save the world!"

How?

"Really? It says it's from Wacky Sacks Supply Company."

"Well, Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl think I shouldn't go on magical adventures because I don't know how to use my Gem powers…"

"Sounds reasonable."

"But there are other ways I can help."

"With a novelty company?" I ask. I'm all for improbable strategies, but a sack?

"Exactly!"

I look at the guy and we both share a shrug.

"Do you know how you can save my world?" he asked. "Sign here, please. Barb yells at me if I don't get signatures."

Understandable.

"That's awful." We then hear a warp pad being activated, signifying someone returning. (Gasp) They're back!"

Steven started running upstairs. The mail guy still had a question.

"Wait, Steven, what is a wacky sack!?"

We were left alone. He tried kinda hard not to stare once he made the realization and now that he actually saw me. The blush and the attempt to cover his face with the clipboard made it obvious.

Typical.

"Your guess is as good as mine." I started following the kid's footsteps. "Name's Moira, by the way; short for Moissanite. See you around."

It always amuses me to see their expressions once they get a good look from behind.

Then again, it really shouldn't.

Once I open the door, I'm met with a feather covered group.

Garnet was the first to speak. "Hello, Steven. Moira."

"Amethyst, we don't need that! It's not going to fit in the fridge!" Pearl was arguing with the said noun who's trying to fit something in said fridge. A huge ass egg?

"What? I got this." To make space, she took something out which resulted in the falling of milk and bagels. What a waste… "See? It fits!"

But the protrusion was obvious. The door cabinet railing could easily… uh oh. "Wait, Amethyst, don't slam the-!" (Slam!, Crack!) "(Flinch)… door… ugh…" The yolk was running down and out the fridge.

Gross.

"You said something, Moira?" she replied.

"Uh… never mind."

"(Chortle) Imagine what we could do with it: a big omelette, or a quiche, or big sunny side up, or-!"

Good luck. Egg is really hard to scrape.

"We were fighting a giant bird," Pearl informed. "We're only here for a second, however; we've got to go back."

"Not even 5 minutes and you're leaving?" I snark.

"The thing is, we have to place this moon Goddess statue on the top of the lunar sea spire before midnight. Without it, the whole place would fall apart." Huh. Funky looking base. Kinda looks like someone tore it off and stole it. "(Sigh) You should've seen it in it's prime. It was an oasis for Gems on Earth. It's abandoned now, but we can still save it with this statue!"

She brought up a hologram of said spire using her gem. Doesn't look that bad, even if it probably has damage by now. A few thousand years probably might have rendered that useless.

"Perfect!" His loud scream forced me to close my eye and sooth my ear.

"What? Why?"

"Because I can help carry it for you in this!" Ooh, is he revealing the package?

A… burger?

"(Makes sound effect)." (Shing!) But he stopped when he heard the ringing that is my sword. They all look at me in awe when they see the resonation and shine that is the double edged one I use.

"Eh… sorry, it must seemed fitting. Plus, Steven would've like it. Please continue." I put it away.

"I did! It's a cheeseburger backpack, shaped like a cheeseburger!" Facepalm.

For fuck's sake…

"Aw, I blew it," he continued, "I was gonna wear it one day, and you guys would be like, 'dang, Steven, that's so cool,' but this is obviously Gem business."

Damn, Daniel, back at it again with the funky bags, huh? Not like I need one; my bag of holding is enough.

"Yes, so you should let us take care of it." Geez, Pearl, no need to dote on him so much.

"What!? I'm a Gem!" For emphasis, he shows us. It causes me to giggle a bit.

A lot of things are making me laugh nowadays…

"But you've still got a lot to learn," she counters.

"So let him come!" Amethyst replies. "It'll be educational."

Pearl took a minute to think. But I also put my own opinion.

"That's true," I add, "if you ever want for Steven to increase in knowledge and experience, the only way is to practice on the field."

"Hmm… well, alright, you can carry it in your hamburger."

Some hamburgers don't have cheese.

"Check this out! Everything's a pocket! Even the cheese is a pocket! I could fit a lot more stuff in here! Give me a minute; I'll pack extra supplies."

He runs through the kitchen and his room up the stairs while I just lean back and look.

"What about you, Moira?" she asks, getting my attention.

"Hmm, what? Oh. Uh… sure, I'll come with."

"Are you sure? We wouldn't want to impede your own mission."

"Hmm." I take out my Magnum and reload it, chamber by chamber. I don't normally use speed reloaders since I just magnetically do so, but despite being with them, I still need to hide myself.

Why, you'll understand later.

"Don't worry about it. I've gone this long, I can wait a little more. Besides…" Once the last one is in, I flick the cylinder back and roll it. "It wouldn't hurt to see a bit of gem history. After all, you are providing me with something not many people do. The least I can do is be obliged to help you now and again; plus, I'll be happy to do so." I take my other main pistol and load their rounds.

"Okay, then. Steven, let's go!"

"Coming!" Coming down the stairs, he stepped into the warp pad and showed signs of not being able to contain his excitement. But wow, that burger is stuffed.

"Did you pack only the essentials?" I ask, unable to stop snarking, whether deadpan or joking. "It looks like you have just about everything from your room."

"Back that thang up!" Amethyst exclaimed.

"Let's warp," Garnet states. So how does this work? You just visualize another pad or something?

A blue column of light appears but some of it is missing.

"Suck it up, Steven!" Amethyst went.

He inhaled and we finally were enveloped.

Huh, this isn't so bad. It's like teleporting in a more… vertical fashion. I'm gonna be honest and say that I heavily resisted the urge to roll around and "fly". Though it doesn't stop me from using my legs to "swim".

"Do you remember how to do this?" Pearl asks a floating and giggling Steven. Yeah, just like him. His head for outside the walls, rendering some of it open. "Keep your head inside! Moira, are you doing okay?"

Am I doing okay? I'm great. True, weird way to warp, but impressive nonetheless.

"Yeah, I'm good," I reply, "don't worry about me." This is easy.

Eventually, we reach our destination… but not before Steven falls. I was about to if not for the fact that I could actually fly. So I float down instead.

"Whoa! The sea spire!"

A tall tower indeed. But… it's in such a bad shape.

Eesh… the thing is falling apart. A piece of it fell and broke once it hit the ground. Seismic action was telling me something…

"It wasn't like this in the last century…" Pearl laments.

"For good reason. The structural integrity is failing by the minute." I can feel that just by stepping on the ground.

I'll tell you how later.

"Oh, yeah," Steven goes, "that's never good." Huh?

A crack started forming under him, growing in the process.

"Steven!" I yell, running to catch him. The piece broke off just after and falls, splashing into the waters below.

However, I didn't take into account on how my center of gravity has changed… so… I fell on my back. Something on me only tells me this.

He's sorta in marshmallow hell… at least he's facing away.

"Alright, hold on," Pearl goes. "We're taking Steven back.

"Kinda counterproductive, don't you think?" A moment of silence followed. I stand up, somewhat oblivious of the kid in my arms.

"You can let go of him now, Moira," Pearl says, slightly blushing due to the fact that I'm closer to human anatomy than they are… mostly.

"O-Oh! Right." I let him down, causing something to sound. Something about not shaking it..?

"Mr. Queasy!" He took the… thing out…

Ugh…

At least it wasn't dirty…

"Steven!" Pearl exclaims, now frustrated. Kinda scared me, to be honest. "This is your heritage! I want you to stay and help, but you have to take this seriously! Can you do that?"

"You got it, dude!" A wink and a tongue pose with a thumbs up only tells me he's downright silly.

Eh, it's Steven. And Full House.

"Enough," Garnet said. "We have to move."

Got it.

We run up the cliffside that was here and stop nearly at the edge. She held up a fist to have us do so.

"What's the holdup?" Amethyst goes. "We can clear this easily!" I can jump this distance.

"No. The magic that sustains the whirlpool creates a vortex that will pull us below." For emphasis, she throws a rock and it gets caught midair before plunging below.

A seemingly endless pit of a swirl is what I see. The rock disappears after a while.

"So we can't jump?" Pearl asks.

"Hmm…" I start to think about something but Steven beat me to the punch.

"Oh, wait!" He took off his pack and started to pull out… sweaters?

"What are those for?" the purple gem goes.

"They were for keeping warm, but check this out!" He ties them together by the sleeve and throws it to a shape above a window, catching the other sleeve after.

I could swear we weren't this close…

A deep breath and he starts to run. Only now do they think it's a bad idea.

"Wait!" "Steven!"

He makes it to the wall, but starts to drop.

"He's getting sucked down!"

Luckily his grip isn't weak. A look of determination and he runs up, making it up the ledge.

"Cheeseburger..!"

Now I'm hungry.

He makes it safely to the ground, albeit a little shaken up.

"Steven! Way to go! Come on, guys!" Amethyst summons her whip, grabs the other two and swings across. "Steven style!" Exactly that, she makes it safely as well. They congratulated Steven on his idea and he took it well. But… they weren't paying too close attention.

She forgot to grab me.

"Wait, we forgot-" She looks to the empty cliff. "Moira?" But don't worry about it.

"Yes?" I ask, right behind them. That made them jump.

"Wha… how did you?"

"Easy," I reply, shrugging. "Just jumping here."

I have a few tricks up my… nonexistent sleeves.

"Come on, now; we're losing time."

They shrugged and lead the way. Pearl eventually started making a speech about how things were back then. I just ignored it. I'm more focused on the architecture of this place. While it isn't as extravagant as some of the ones I know of back home, it's still impressive nonetheless.

Only when I hear singing bring sliced does my attention come back.

"What was that goober?" Steven asks. I didn't get to see it.

"Crystal shrimp."

"Uh, guys," Amethyst says from overhead, "we got a problem!"

Going up the stairs, I see little chunks of what I think are the crystal shrimp she mentioned.

"(Whistle) Was it the maid's week off?" I joke, laughing slightly and earning blank stares. "(Sighs contently) It was a joke. So what do we do?"

"Can't we just squish them?" Steven asks, getting near them. Pearl immediately pulls him away.

"Don't touch that! Their shards are deadly!" She put him down. "We need to clear a path…" She began to make one up on the spot, giving holograms on who to do what. I ignore it, however.

I kneel down, having one come near me. It doesn't seem to have any eyes, but I can feel it looking at me. It doesn't seem to have malevolence.

"Moira, what are you doing?"

"Trying something." Grabbing my pouch, I take out a piece of bread I saved up from yesterday and fed it to the shrimp, it enjoying the nibble.

"Oh, they're just hungry. Steven, have anything there? That was my last bit of food."

He smiles and digs around. "Bagel sandwich!" He threw two of those on opposite ends of the room. The rest of them immediately go after them.

"Brilliant." Garnet smiled.

"Oh, hey, what do you know."

"But how-" Pearl steered before I stop her.

"If you take the time to understand any creature," I tell her, "it comes natural."

"That's what I would do if I were a shrimp," Steven informs.

"You are a shrimp," Amethyst goes. They are kinda short. We begin to walk forward and up the stairs. My seismic senses tell me something. I look to my left and see a cracking-

Uh oh.

"Stay back!" I run forward past them and extend my arms, pushing back a slight bit when the water runs through. It creates a rushing rapid. "Phew."

"Nice reflexes, Moira," Pearl compliments.

"Thanks."

"But now what are we gonna do?" We all look at Steven.

"What, me?" he went.

"What have you got?" asked Garnet.

"Cheeseburger backpack! Cheeseburger backpack! Come on, you guys!" Amethyst kept chanting.

Pearl and I exchanged glances. I shrug and she relents.

"(All three) Cheeseburger backpack! Cheeseburger backpack! Cheeseburger backpack!"

Oh! He got something.

"A raft!"

Wow, this kid is resourceful.

He pulls the cord and it inflates. Enough to fit… well, almost all. One of us would have to sit out.

"Steven, that's so sensible!"

Wait.

"Wouldn't the current-"

I was ignored. He threw the raft and what I nearly said was right. The flow pushes the raft and it goes down the fall it made.

They groan at the notion. Two slams averted our attention to Garnet dropping the hammer onto a pillar, the column becoming a makeshift bridge.

"Good idea anyway, Steven," she says.

"Yeah, they can't all be winners," Amethyst comforted.

"It happens to the best of us, kid," I put in. "After all, not everything-" A beeping ringtone interrupted my thoughts. "One second."

LYNX appears after. "Evening, Moira."

"Oh. Go ahead, Steven; I'll catch up." He nods and goes. "Evening. What's the status?"

"I have researched the rest of the planet and came up short. I'm sorry to say it, but…" Oh…

"Let me guess, you can't find the essence, can you?" I ask, downhearted.

"I'm sorry, Moira. I'll try harder if-"

I raise up my hand. "Hey, don't worry about it, girl." I extend my hand to scratch behind her ears. Despite being only a hologram, we've upgraded her A.I. in my Receptor to allow her to enjoy things usual ones wouldn't. "You did your best and that's all I ask. For now, I think it's best we stay here. We may not find the answers soon, or much later, but at least we know we'll be okay. Now, come on; we have a statue to place."

She nodded and we went off. Despite not needing to, she walks as well, almost looking like she actually is moving. In reality, she only needs the base of my Receptor and from there, she can go from a mile radius from it.

Look, I know half of this is confusing, but I'll fill you in later; that cool?

"Steven, the statue."

He nods and looks for it. I wonder how many pockets that thing has. There's the meat, the cheese, then I guess the lettuce, tomato, and onion. Hmm.

Though, he started panicking. Oh, no.

"Please don't tell me…"

"I don't have it," he regrettably said.

"What!?"

"I must've left it on the bed!"

Bruh…

The moon overhead was threatening to come close to midnight. Great…

Wait, where the hell are we? Wasn't it morning when we left?

"There's… There's no time…" Well… I can make some. But…

"Wait, I have an idea!" He pulls out the thing from earlier. No, it shouldn't… and I want to help, but…

Groan…

"Could that work?" Amethyst asks. Garnet shrugs.

"Yes, there is time!" I charge up a bit to get this ready. I'm gonna hate myself for this. "Lightning Strike!"

Everything goes to a standstill, from the water to the ground beneath us. The Gems are all shocked that I was able to do this.

"Moira, how-!?"

"Just- just go get the statue," I command, albeit softly. "I didn't tell you guys everything, but I will when we get back. You only have half an hour; please go quickly!"

They were confused, but nodded and ran back down. I hung my head in shame, due to the fact that I didn't want to reveal this at all.

Well, maybe some of it, but not all.

The thing is, like I said in the beginning, I am a human from another planet, but it isn't a regular type of human.

"This wasn't what you wanted, was it, Matthew?" LYNX asks.

"Not even close."

Damn my helpful nature. Damn it.

20 minutes they take to come back. Nothing has yet moved. They seemed shocked that it hasn't yet.

"Moira, are you okay?" they ask.

This is actually mentally draining. Unless I was fully powered up, which I can't be, this is tolling.

"I'm fine," I reply. "Just put the statue in; I'll drop the time hold after."

He nods and places it to the pedestal, me turning off my Strike after. A light emerges from the moon, raising the statue high. But our hopes were tarnished when it exploded.

Boo, it could've been a souvenir.

The spire started collapsing, only further bringing my spirits down.

"Everyone keep steady!" But as soon as Amethyst crashes into Garnet, that plan failed.

The water started rushing in, signifying that were sinking. Also, damn my instincts as well.

Before it all fell, I took a second to transform a slight bit. I couldn't see anyone but I knew they swam up. I could see their shadows. I was torn, however.

Yes, I did say I would tell them about me, but I didn't exactly want to show everything as well. I can also transform somewhat and I accidentally did it because of my instincts.

Kinda wish I didn't do it.

Screw it. Go back to human gem hybrid and risk the near drowning.

… what?

I ain't telling you what I am!

It'll ruin the surprise, ha.

(3rd) "Moira! Where are you!?"

"Does anyone see her?"

The Gems spent time looking for her once they found the raft that floated up. Five minutes have passed and she still hasn't surfaced.

"She should've come up by now," Pearl states.

"Wait, is that her?" Steven asks, pointing at a bubbling spot.

Without warning, Moira shot up, taking a deep breath after. Though after it, she didn't flail like someone would usually do. Matter of fact…

(Moira) I'm here like I'm standing on something while neck deep in water. Everything is gone, so there's no reason I should be doing that.

Yeah… that's another thing.

"Moira!"

"Over here!"

Huh? The Gems! Oh, the raft. But…

"Heh, I don't think there's enough space there," I say, moving close to it. I lay myself on the edge. "But wow, this is convenient."

"Whoo!"

"(Except Garnet) Cheeseburger backpack! Cheeseburger backpack! Cheeseburger backpack!" Fist pumping in the air.

"It's a three hour paddle home," Garnet calmly states, after looking into the distance.

The news sorta stopped us.

I guess laziness isn't just my weakness.

"Anyone want a wet bagel?" Steven offered, trying to lighten the mood. I gladly took one. The smell of those sandwiches made me kinda hungry. I didn't even remove the water; they tasted okay with it.

"Actually, don't worry," LYNX says. "Moira can get us all back in about an hour or so." I slowly start to kick, causing a strong movement and the water quickly pushes us to our direction. We were going a lot faster than if we paddled.

"Moira, how are you doing that?"

"Well…"

I told them who I was. It slowed the trip to almost two hours, but at least they know. They kinda deserve to.

Remember what I said in the beginning

Back where I'm from, I'm not a Gem or a hybrid. I'm actually a pure human. My only thing is that in not a regular human. LYNX brought up screens depicting my statistics.

Oh, and I'm actually a male. Did I forget to mention that? That's why LYNX refers to me as Matthew. My name here will stay Moissanite Allison Walker, but my real name is Matthew Arseron Walker.

Funky middle name, but my planet has first names like that. I was raised in an alternate earth so I sort of stuck to it.

My planet actually has a few types of humans: Lojarrs, Majeylins, Mokrinajeylins, and Mesanrikajeylins.

A Lojarr is basically an advanced human. They're stronger, faster, smarter, and more capable than a regular Earth human.

A Majeylin, such as myself, well, once, has an elemental power or spiritual, all at random chances. There are 10 total, by opposites: Earth and Wind, Water and Energy (my original one), Ice and Fire, Life and Death, and Spirituality and Demonic. Depending on who we are, we can fluently use said element for recreational use or for combat, to a multitude of advantages.

A Mokrinajeylin is one who controls 3 non opposing elements, but at the cost of being weaker than if you were to just use one. It's okay recreationally, but not too suitable a combative lifestyle unless someone really tries hard.

A Mesanrikajeylin, one which I am now, has the capability of using all elements at no real price other than indecisiveness of the situation and how well you can control other elements. It is one of the rarest types, being born only one in a few billion.

However, I am the only one who is… artificial…

Out of all, we're only weakened somewhat by our opposite elements, due to spiritual factors in nature. I left out that our only true weakness is…

Wait for it. Keep waiting.

… you waited?

Okay.

Glass.

Yes, glass.

Motherfucking. Glass.

You heard me right. Don't judge.

In a sense, it's a complete combination of all elements. It's made of sand particles, superheated, blown to shapes, impervious to electricity, and balances between a liquid and solid.

However, no one ever thinks about it. Mostly because, well, it's glass; literally no one would think about it as a weapon. But like the artificiality of me being a Mesanrikajeylin, I've gotten less weak to it. Why?

"What happened..?"

I couldn't bear to tell them… but I don't want to leave any other secrets. The real reason I'm here? It's because my world has ceased to exist… I was the only survivor… "Before I was thrown into another planet, my family gave me their powers before they…" I choked back a few tears…

The others gasped at my tale.

"That's why I'm trying hard to find what I need to get them back. But I have enemies, ones who will stop at nothing until I am dropped. It was the reason I didn't want to show you this until much later. They can detect when I use them in a strong fashion. Minor things like this," I point to the currents, "I can get away with. But any other combative situations can almost guarantee that they'll come quickly. In other words, it's basically my own form of Homeworld." At least Steven didn't hear the whole extinction of my species part. He wouldn't have understood much, but I'll tell him when he's older. He fell asleep after a while.

It's also why the Shadow Morph I used was ninja than actually hiding me in light camouflage.

"Don't worry about it, Moira," Garnet says. "We'll stick by you."

Just the notion warmed my heart.

"I won't allow you," I say, smiling. "Many of my friends and family have fallen because of them. I don't you to suffer because of me."

"Listen, Moira," Amethyst starts, with a very out of character seriousness, "we've been through a lot. Maybe it's not as much as you, but it still counts. We're together until the end, sis; you be got nothing to be afraid of." She ended with a smile that allowed me to chuckle a bit and finally shed a tear of joy.

"Thanks, Amy."

"Heh, 'Amy'?"

"Oh. Sorry, it's just my old habit of giving shortened or my own nicknames for people. It doesn't bother you, does it?"

"You know what? I'll keep it… Mo."

Great.

We soon reached the shoreline of Beach City. I carried Steven in and placed the raft on the porch.

Setting him down on his bed, I look at his oblivious sleeping face and smile, glad that he wasn't up to hear the whole other part of the real reason I'm here and the fact that it makes him look so innocent.

Plopping onto the couch, j can rest easy now that they know everything.

Mostly…

* * *

 **Well, hopefully now things have been a little more clear now. A traveling alien who is just trying to bs his home back. Worry not... something, rofl.**

 **Anyway, you guys glad that there aren't any asterisks this time? But I'm lying. there will be a list of items here to decipher her previous moves.**

 **So here we go:**

 **Shadow Morph: Death element**  
 **Aura based move with multiple targets: Shrouds targets in shadows or near invisibility to hide, sneak, attack, etc.**  
 **Pro: Works best in low light settings; Con: Largely ineffective in any well lit environments**

 **MagLev: Energy element**  
 **Aura based move with multiple targets: manipulation of metal and using magnetic forces**  
 **No pro or con**

 **... is that all that I put in these past few? Well, the seismic sense for Earth, but it's more of a passive ability than an active. Lol**

 **Anyway, Happy... late Thanksgiving, peoples. Hope you enjoyed your turkey, stuffing, and cranberry sauce... or whatever feast you may have had. Now, my next chapter may not be that quick and it won't be Together Breakfast. There are some episodes that I may skip due to either not being able to blend it in properly, or depending on what things may have been done in between my Moira. Most likely sleep, ha.**

 **See you next time.**

 **RaNd0Mk1D8o3I**


	5. Chapter 5: Frybo

**What is up, peoples and persons?**

 **Whoo, long break, wasn't it? Worry not, I didn't forget about this little hobby of mine. It's called a hobby, right? Lol.**

 **Here we go again, our snarky Gem back in action. However, like I said, I skipped Together Breakfast since Moira would not really have a reason to enter the temple after all. There will be a call back to them if possible; there are details that could be funny enough. Maybe, ha.**

 **Also, if I had to think about it, I think the best voice to imagine Moira with is Olivia Olson… otherwise known as Marceline or Vanessa Doofenshmirtz. I kinda wanted that "cool" voice with a hint of "caring big sister" ish… well, you know what I mean, lol.**

 **All the legalities apart, I don't own Steven Universe or any of it's affiliates that isn't my original content; all rights exclusive to Rebecca Sugar.**

 **Enjoy.**

* * *

The next day went smoothly. Well, as smooth as monster made food can be.

Steven wanted to make a together breakfast, due to the fact that they don't really join up for meals that often. However, it got possessed by a corrupt artifact or something.

I didn't pay too close attention.

And yet, I still ate the breakfast after everyone left. I don't like wasting food, so…

Plus, I didn't know popcorn and waffles actually went well together.

Anyway, after that whole debacle, I'm on the roof, enjoying the nice weather this place gets.

Pearl came out of nowhere, jumping from the balcony all the way to the town, holding a bubble.

"Hey, LYNX, can you scope that?" I ask.

"On it." She makes her own binoculars and scans it. "They seem to be gem shards. What for, I'm not sure."

"Hmm. All in due time." I lie backwards to keep sunbathing a bit. She follows suit, taking relaxation in these mundane times.

"That's unusual!" Steven's yell brought me back up, forcing me to crash into the house… via the roof. I elbow the establishment, causing me to drop with the roof.

"Steven, you okay?" I'm on the floor now.

"Ah! You caught it!"

Uh… "Caught what?" I ask, hoping that I didn't kill anything.

"My pants! Gotcha now!" He grabs the thing, once I step off of it, and struggles? But once he has them on, it… struggles. "I wear the pants in this relationship."

"You know, that phrase wouldn't work otherwise out of context," I say. "But why was it moving?"

"I don't know." He feels around his pockets and takes something out, rendering the pants… Well, basically lifeless. "It's a thingy? Is this Pearl's shard thingy?"

"Wait, is that what they were?" No wonder she wanted to find them.

"Hmm…" LYNX starts flying around it. "It seems to have the same properties as the ones she had."

"Come on, we gotta get this to Pearl." He places the shard in a sock and then in his burger.

I'm thinking of getting one; it just seems that kooky.

Running to the beachside, we come across the southside boardwalk, hoping to see Pearl.

"Pearl! Hey, Pearl!"

"You there, girl?" I call out. No answer.

"Hmm. She must still be looking for my pants."

"Excuse me?" But my statement was ignored. Only because we were interrupted by seagulls attacking… what the fuck is that thing?

"Aah, please help me! Aah, No, get them away! Please! Aah!" Steven was pushed accidentally and screamed somewhat when he saw the attack. Rushing in, I help remove the birds away from what looked like a fry cup costume.

It removed its head, revealing a kid underneath it.

"I'm not fries!"

That's an understatement.

But his hair said otherwise. Some of them came back to attack his real head. He started running to get away from them, but it can only fail.

"Moira, do something!" Steven pleaded.

I nod and take out my pistol, removing its current magazine and the one in the chamber.

"You're not going to shoot him, are you!?"

"What?" I look at him and the gun. "Oh! Sorry, no. I've got a contingency plan for a lot of things. This is just one of them."

Usually, unless I attach a silencer, my bullets always sound loudly. But, and it's probably the feathers, tranquilizer darts don't.

Aiming with my left hand under my right, 4 darts went down, sticking into the gulls and forcing them to drop from the kid's head.

"(Sigh) Thanks." Steven helps him up. Suddenly, a door opens and out comes someone from it.

"Gah, where's your face, Frybo?" Huh. Must be his dad or something. He had a fry-shaped hairdo with a red visor hat and is wearing a light dull red T-shirt and white apron. He also wears a pair of dark grey shorts and yellow shoes. Wait, isn't that the same guy whose car was destroyed by the remnants of the Red Eye? "Being part of the Fryman family means you gotta sell fries... and be my son, which you are. So, you're already halfway there. Keep at it, Frybo!" He went in, not even noticing me or Steven.

At least he didn't say anything.

"I'm Pee-!" (Door slams) "-dee…"

"Hi, Peedee!" Steven greets.

"Hey, Steven, I…" He stopped once he looked at me. "Who's she?"

"Oh, this is, uh…" His expression only told me my cover would've been blown. He rolled his hand to come up with something, but came up blank. Oh, he's rolling it to me!?

"I'm Moissanite," I reply, extending my hand, "(Nervously) Steven's… uh, older sister! Yeah! But you can call me Moira."

Fucking pathetic excuse, isn't it?

Steven seemed confused at first but then he decided to keep playing, only further solidifying the fact and bringing down my paranoia as well. I need some way to hide myself. Besides, it isn't too bad a logic. He has a bellybutton gem, I have… right. 5. Fake.

Doesn't make too much sense, but I guess it's fine.

"Oh! Uh… yeah! (Shaky) Yep, Big Sis, alright!" He chuckled, kinda awkwardly.

"Hi." Peedee sighed. "When I told my dad I wanted to be part of the Fryman family business, I didn't think it meant being stuck in a sweaty old costume. Things used to be different, Steven, nothing to worry about back then except making myself dizzy on the old seahorse ride at Funland."

Boo. Funland? Can't come up with a better name, huh?

Also, I'm guessing it's enough for him not to question my being here. Steven is at least 12 and I'm betting no one really thought he had any other family that isn't the Gems or his father. I can just say I'm his half sister. Sure, it's gonna complicate things because of Rose, but it'll work.

Besides, I've pulled it off before.

"Harsh, kid."

"Oh, Frybo, you're hilarious," Steven replied.

The kid didn't appreciate the comment too much. I know where he comes from. "I just wish there was a way for this thing to do it's job without me."

I'd say something, but I don't wanna give any ideas.

Steven, however, didn't have the idea I did. "Maybe it can, Peedee, maybe it can…" Cutscene later…

You can not be serious…

He replaced himself in the suit, smiling very cheesily. As much as I want to resist facepalming, that's how much I'm stifling a giggle.

"Steven, that's not what he…" I drift off when the seagulls attack again. Luckily for me, I'm a good shot even if they're small and mobile. Multiple muffled pews and the suit is okay. He gets out of it.

"Well, that didn't work," Peedee states.

Really, now?

"Wait! I have another idea!" Steven goes into his pack, pulling out the same shard from earlier. What was special about it anyway? Once he puts it in the suit, whatever damage it had was fixed and it starts rolling around.

"Okay, stay back," I say, mostly to myself while taking a step away.

"Whoa…" It then started to roll away.

"Stop!" It does.

That's freaky.

"Unbelievable! Stand up!" Peedee got excited.

The costume stood upright.

"Do a little dance!"

It looked at us, stood up fucking somehow with fries for legs, and started shaking, like how many costumes would do.

The door opens again, prompting for Peedee to hide behind me.

Jeez, I know my hips don't lie, but don't grab them, kid!

"Woah-ho, all right! It's about ti- I mean, good job, buddy!" It just kept dancing, not even knowing that he was there or the fact that Peedee wasn't inside that thing. "That's what I'm talking about, Frybo! Ha ha. Keep it up!" The door closes and Frybo stops.

"Free! I'm free!" He went to the costume. "You got the job, Frybo. Let's shake on it!"

He extended his hand, but I think there needs to be some intelligence part to this because the whole "shake" part made Frybo shake Peedee.

I couldn't hold back and neither could Steven. We both laugh at his misfortune.

"Nice joke, kid," I say, before resuming chuckling.

"(Nauseated) Okay, I get it; no more shaking. Put me down." Once Frybo lets go, he gives one last command. "Just go make people eat fries."

Uh…

He runs off before I can even say anything. I hope he understood.

"Ha ha! Let's go be kids!"

He dragged off with Steven, him only managing a small goodbye beforehand.

Hmm.

I'm like I wanna check out Funland, but maybe I'll just stick to the beach, maybe improve my abilities a bit.

Taking out my own sword and another smaller blade, I take my first one in my right and reverse grip the other, familiarizing myself with a form that I've only recently tried to master. What, give or take I've been using it, 88 years?

Thing is, I had both even forward grip swords before, but that was when I realized that this form allowed better defensive properties. For me, anyway. I'll go forward should I need to heavily attack, but my standard pose is funky grips.

Plus, like twin swords, I flow more swiftly, especially since I tend to spin around a lot.

I take a good five minutes of practicing a few moves involving back flips, sword flips, and elemental swings before…

(Distant scream) Hmm?

"That came from .25 miles away, near Fryman's," LYNX states.

"That can't be good."

Running back, Steven and Peedee had the same idea. But what we were expecting was not what we thought.

Frybo was attacking innocent people, force feeding them fries. Anyone who tried to escape were quickly brought back with fry tendrils that came from the top.

"We didn't tell him to do that! Did we tell him to do that!?"

"Technically, you did." Not helping, LYNX, but it had to be said.

"Please, no more fries!" He was ignored. The poor guy only had more potato sticks slammed in his mouth.

"Frybo, stop!" Steven exclaimed. But the sight was horrendous. The veins and arguable now slasher smile made them flinch. A teenager was thrown at us, which we dodged. He spat out the potato.

"I don't even like fries!" He ran away.

"Why isn't he listening!?"

"I don't know!"

"He's too far gone! We have to stop him before-" Whoa! Chair!

The same guy from earlier came out, wondering what was happening. "Peedee, where's all this coming from?!" Frybo ensnares him, causing a panic between us. I wanted to attack but I didn't want to risk hitting the guy. "Ah, I get it, I pushed you too hard. I thought you wanted to be as good a Fryman as you could be, you're a tough kid for putting up with it as long as you did! The truth is you're a valued member of Fryman corporation and all its affiliates!"

That's touching.

But not now!

"Dad!" I hear Peedee yell out something, but I was more focused on the task at hand.

Slicing the tendril that held him, I push him back, effectively dropping the others and allowing them to escape.

"Sonic Kick!*" It was enough to push Frybo back, forcing it to pay attention to me. "Let's dance!"

(3rd) The kids could only watch. Peedee almost moved.

"Steven, I have to get to my dad!"

"No!" His friend grabbed his arm, preventing the fry haired kid from leaving. "Frybo will mash your potatoes!"

"Then what are you gonna do?"

"My job!" However, they were stopped by a thrown Moira and Fryman, knocking them back a bit. She rolled off to allow them up just as Pearl appeared, getting back to fighting Frybo. Pearl was carrying the same bubble from earlier, the gem shards still there.

"Steven! Did you put my missing shard in that fry costume!?"

"Yes!"

"Didn't you hear what I said about the living armor and infantries and many, many deaths!?"

"No!"

"That would've been good enough information to know beforehand!" Moira yelled from afar. Slicing tendril after tendril, she manages to keep it back.

Sighing, Pearl summoned her spear and prepared to throw it.

(Moira) "Throw it!" I backflip to allow her the best aim. Unfortunately, biology decides to take a backseat today. Once it's impaled into Frybo's eye, it reacts, but then it gushes out ketchup and mustard. It hits my face when it flailed, getting Pearl in the process as well.

"Pearl!" Steven exclaims.

"Ugh! The ketchup!" Tell me about it. "It's everywhere! I can't see!"

Using my Water abilities, I remove the condiments from my face and block a tendril from hitting me. However, I was too distracted by it that I didn't account for another one hitting me to the side of the building.

(Thud) "Oof!" Ow…

My back…

(Gasp) My swords.

They were thrown in another direction. I couldn't reach them in time. I gasp in shock and prepare for an incoming fry hand to grab me.

"Go away!" Huh?

Peedee was trying to swing a plank at the costume, fueled by rage.

"You are awful! I hate you! I've always hated you!"

Sheesh. And I thought I had issues.

"Wait, you've always hated Frybo?" his father asks.

However, the bravado soon failed. A fry tendril disarmed the kid and he was pushed back. Fryman immediately grabbed his son and I moved to defend them.

Suddenly… the same pants went in to distract the costume, kicking it to avert our attention.

"Steven!"

"Where!?" Pearl asks, still blinded.

He's… only in briefs as his other clothes stand beside him, ready at the action. There's a fry in his mouth, acting as a toothpick. It works well enough with his serious expression.

"Your move, Frybo." Eating the same potato bit, he poses. "Attack!"

They each go for various parts, either pushing or wrapping, but someone please tell me how the hell a t-shirt neck bites…

However, it isn't enough. Frybo still moves around with relative ease, even pushing Steven in the process. I immediately run and hold it in an arm lock, preventing much more movement.

"I didn't want to do this, but you leave me no choice!" He lied down a bit further. Wait.

What does he mean by that?

"Underwear..!" Oh, fuck this. Before he says anything else, I immediately jump away and unwrap my sash from my waist and use it to cover my eyes, hoping not to scar myself. "Go!"

I'm hoping that it'll be enough. Using my senses, I can feel that Steven tackles Frybo and tries to dig. Eventually, it dies after he removed the gem shard.

Despite being blind, Pearl continues to worry about the kid's well being.

"Steven, are you alright?" She started probing Fryman's face.

"Fine," he replied, kind of deadpan.

"You know Steven doesn't have a beard, right?" I walk over, bringing up a clean rag from my pouch. "Now, here, hold still." Even though there's something over my eyes, I can still 'see' well enough.

Certain elements give you an extrasensory aspect depending on what they are. Since I have all, it isn't that hard. Plus, the fact that the Gems are stones, it's easy using Earth.

"Moira?" I grab her hand to keep her from moving too much and falling over.

"Yeah, it's me. Don't worry about Steven; he took care of it." I remove my blindfold momentarily to give her a reassuring look once the ketchup had been removed.

"Yeah. I knew that as soon as I bared my butt, he'd crack."

Okay. That's funny. But I leave my blinds on to keep my mind sane.

The last thing I need is a case on my back. I'm looking at you.

"(Slight chuckle) Alright, kid. So now what?"

Soon as I ask, the answer it that they prepare a makeshift Viking funeral. A raft was loaded with the remains of the costume.

"Fare thee well, Frybo," I state, thinking that words were appropriate now. "You were the best opponent I've had since entering this realm. So I think it's only proper that I do this for you." A piece of driftwood appeared and I fashion up a small boat around the raft, making it more sturdy. Once done, I take out a bow and an arrow made to be ignited.

"Wait, what's that?" Fryman asks.

"I feel like it's a good idea to make this a righteous farewell. So… why not do so correctly? I'll give you time for final words." I walk back to situate myself and aim, knocking the string back once ready.

Fryman nodded. "(Sigh) You were great, Frybo. The kids today just didn't understand. Now… they never will."

Jeez, have some humility with those tears. Yes, I understand the sentimental value, but still.

"Weren't people scared of it before he-" I jabbed Pearl's arm lightly with my elbow to shush her.

"It largely depends." I step back a few times, to angle myself properly.

"It's time." They push the boat out to sea, watching as it goes off into the sunset.

"Hey, LYNX, how do I speak Old Norse?"

"The closest you'll get is Icelandic. Here." She tells me a phrase and it's complete pronunciation.

Hmm, seems about right.

"Kveðja, Frybo; getur andinn þinn hvíla í friði. (Farewell, Frybo; may your spirit rest in peace.)" I shoot into the boat and sigh now that this is over.

The flames immediately get strong, almost burning a hole through the raft.

"As greasy in death as he was in life."

"Dad?" Peedee goes. "I'll, um… are you gonna get another Frybo costume?"

Please. No.

"I don't need another Frybo." Thank God. "I've got the fry man."

Again. Touching.

"Pearl, I think our work here is done."

Did I mention I never took off my sash from my face?

"Put your clothes on, Steven," the taller Gem says.

"Please," I add. I make a light wall of sand around him to allow some privacy. I will admit, the kid has some real guts to be able to do that.

"Are you okay, Moira?" Pearl asks.

Finally I can take this thing off. Funny enough, my pouch didn't move that much. Looks like the extending chain is an automatic extrasensory thing as well, or something…

I guess it's a weird manner of sorcery.

"Don't worry about me," I reply, tying it back. "I worry more about your health than my own. I've taken quite a bit before; this is nothing compared to it."

She smiles and nods. "I'll be honest, I wasn't too sure about you. But now I see that you just may be a great addition to our team."

Hmm.

"Yeah…"

I guess.

* * *

 **A somewhat generic episode, but still kinda fun. Though, honestly, I'm not sure how well I did the action parts; I'm not too well versed in writing them, heh. If you guys can tell me, that'd be great. "Constructive criticism" please; I hurt easily. Nah, I don't, lol; flames are still an iffy subject.**

 **Sonic Blasts: Energy Element**  
 **Linear based move with a single, multiple, or field targets: Waves of sonic pitched sounds done by a clap, punch, or kick.**  
 **Pro: None; Con: weakens user with repetitive uses; also may harm environment**

 **So that's all for today. Hopefully I can get maybe two more out before Christmas / Hannukah and New Year's holidays because I'm gonna party like it's 1999, ha. And hope you enjoyed it.**

 **See you next time.**

 **RaNd0Mk1D8o3I**


	6. Chapter 6: Cat Fingers

**What is up, peoples and persons?**

 **Looks like I partied a little too hard, huh? Sorry for the broken promise but I do genuinely hope you all had a good holiday and will have an even better New Year.**

 **My resolution? ... dunno, lol. I'll think of something, ha.**

 **Anyways, here's the probably first episode that churned some emotion. Also, as a little trivia, when Steven reaches Greg at the wash, Greg is actually humming something a little close to "Highway To Hell" by AC DC.**

 **All the legalities apart, I don't own Steven Universe or any of it's affiliates that isn't my original content; all rights exclusive to Rebecca Sugar.**

 **Enjoy.**

* * *

'… great addition to our team…'

I spent all night sitting at the beach. I couldn't get that sentence out of my head. It kept echoing in my head.

'… great addition to our team.'

I'm sorry, but… I don't think that's exactly true.

Yes, I have a bad past, but it's more checkered than it is tragic. Well, it's tragic to me, but… Let's just say I have a lot of demons around me because of that, and I actually don't mean that figuratively.

But that's just it.

I may be putting them in danger…

Maybe if I-

(Splash)

Okay, not cool.

"Moira, you've been standing there for 10 minutes already," Greg says, not seemingly apologetic. "Is something wrong?" But he is caring, I'll give him that. He just splashed me with a hose.

Worry not, I'm not wearing the flap dress I usually have. Instead, for God knows what reason, I had… well, a bandage crop top. LYNX told me it was Sarashi. Something like that? It does well to cover… the girls, but leaves my midriff kinda bare… the pink spandex shorts are okay, though. And my pouch is resting near the building along with my dress.

Honestly, I should really just count my blessings at this point.

Luckily, no one thought bad of it. But Gregory here tried hard not to stare… as well as any other interested males and jealous girls. I kept blushing. It didn't affect me too much; it was kind of a hot day.

"No, sorry, Greg," I respond. "Just a bit distracted." Resuming my Water abilities, I rinse the truck that he and Steven were washing. Pretty sure we're almost done.

"Almost done." Yep. "Steven, get the hubcaps."

"Hubbing it up!" He wipes the said item faster.

"Hub it up good! This is a high profile job!"

"You mean cause it's the mayor's election mobile?"

"Wait, really?" I look up and see the head and the inscriptions. "Huh. How'd I miss that?" I only paid attention to Steven's fun and Greg's plead.

"If we do this right, we might get political favors!" Greg, it isn't as great as you think.

Plus it's just a mayor. Not that much, if you ask me.

"I don't know what that is, but I like the sound of it!"

Normally, I'd stay away from politics, but seeing as how I once had power like that, I shrug and keep going.

(Splash) "Hey! (Playfully stern) Steven..!" I chuckle and splash him back, inadvertently getting Greg as well.

Eventually, they start to shoot me down with the hose. I used my own powers to splash back, playing even more with them. "(Fakingly) Oh, no, the might of father and son. I am no match for your power..!" The laughing didn't stop once the water did.

"Hey, hey, hey, I'm not paying for father-son bonding here," I hear. Steven, probably still in midst of his fun, sprayed the voice with the hose. "Universe! Control that kid!"

"Easy there," I say, coming from behind, effectively scaring whoever this is and infuriating him… and probably infatuating.

A light violet-gray coat with a beige collared shirt underneath, a dark violet neck tie, gray-brown pants, black socks, chocolate-brown shoes, and black shoelaces with dark violet stripes.

Yep.

I knew I smelled politician.

The surprised blush only solidified it. I was drying my hair with a towel. "Don't be so harsh on the boy. He's just having a bit of fun."

"'Fun'? Fun is what you'll be having if you don't change your wardrobe. That is very work inappropriate." His stern attitude was still there, but I could sense something. I can only imagine how much he wants to drool.

I don't blame him. I mean, I can relate. Not about him, obviously.

I discreetly tell Greg to lead Steven away. He got the message and took him to finish up. I sigh and wipe some water from my face.

"(Innocently) Aw, but mayor, it's awfully warm outside and I thought this was okay. Do I… look okay?"

A brush back of my hair, a bit of leaning forward, and bringing my arms closer somewhat to accentuate more… roundness, and this guy is complete putty in my hands. He got so hypnotized and stared at the wrong direction.

"You… you look- (Ahem) Fine, I'll allow it this time." His stunned expression calmed and became 'professional' again.

Hook, line, and sucker. They always fall for this type of shit. No wonder girls are hard to impress.

"There you go, Mayor Dewey," Greg says, coming back. "Just so you know, this one's on the house."

He looks at his truck and back. "On the house, eh? I like the way you do business, Universe." But before he left after getting in to drive away, "I'll be seeing you around." I feel like he said that more to me.

I roll my eyes once he went away. At least show some decency. Now I know how other girls feel when peoples be staring at your tits and not your eyes.

Jerk.

"Political favors!" Steven jumped up, surprising Greg and I.

Greg catches him in a slight headlock for a noogie. "You rascal. Enough with the hose fights!"

(Splash)

"Huh?"

"Wasn't me," I say, when they look at me. But looking down, I can tell who it was.

A purple cat.

It had a hose in its mouth, spraying Greg and Steven.

"Whoa!" "What the?"

It kept chasing the two in a circle, essentially making me giggle. Like it somehow has more intelligence than mischief.

"What is with this cat?" Greg asks, just before it forms into Amethyst.

"Got you guys!"

"Amethyst!"

Should've been obvious when I saw he gemstone… and the purple.

"Nice trick there," I say.

"Yeah! Real nice!" Oh, the kid. "I wish I could shapeshift like you."

"It would be a good strategic ability," I say, mostly to myself, looking to the side.

"You two could probably learn," she says. "I mean, you do have a gem." The shirt is lifted for emphasis.

"Whup!" Greg stepped back. "Magic stuff. Should I get out of here? Is there going to be an explosion?"

Bruh.

"Considering it's just a physical attribute, unless Steven wants to, I don't think it'll happen, Greg," I say, finally getting my dress on. Believe it or not, it sorta works like a robe. Either the chain or sash need to keep it from falling apart since the seam disappears into the left flap of the skirt. "I mean, come on. Not everything is an explosion."

"Moira's right, it's fine!" Amethyst says in a goofy voice, just after transforming into Steven.

Greg exclaimed in shock. I just giggle a slight bit.

The smaller two go back to the house, probably to start teaching. I look back at his father and his. "Don't worry, kid, I'll keep an eye on him."

He smiles and walks off. To save myself some time, I jump to their direction and crash through the roof. What's really surprising is that they're here already.

We're about 5 minutes away from the wash…

Amethyst began transforming into various things, including a seal, a wolf, some… wrestler, I think, even what's supposed to be a blue jay. But she's purple, so it kinda kills the joke a bit.

"Amethyst, you're overdoing it," Pearl says, walking in.

"Uh, chill out, dude," she replies. Where did I… Oh, yeah. That was not a regular show. T'was anything but.

"You have to admit, albeit, the amount of detail is mostly true," I state, looking over the jay.

"True as that is, just because we can shapeshift doesn't mean we have to."

"You can shapeshift, too?" Steven asks Pearl.

"Well, of course-"

"(Imitating) Well, of course I can," Amethyst interrupted Pearl and transformed into her, "I'm perfect! Womp! Womp!"

So someone tell me why her ass is bigger? Just so she can slap it? I'm sorry, but Pearl is a rail compared to a hell of a lot of females I've seen, and I've met tree people.

The original pushed her clone to the side and she rolls. "All Gems have shapeshifting powers, Steven." She brings up a hologram from her gem to show us. "We can turn into objects, we can change parts of our bodies or… we could do that." She pointed to Amethyst, still playing dress up.

"(Slapping) Womp! Womp!"

"I want to try it all!" I do admire his enthusiasm, I will say that.

Pearl disregarded it. "Don't bite off more than you can chew, Steven." She proceeded to go outside.

"WOMP! WOMP!"

"Ugh!"

All the shorter gem could do was laugh. I roll my eyes; you can only find this in non regular families.

"Alright! Show me how to change into a, uh, huge lion!"

Whoa, now.

"That may be a bit too much, Steven," I reply.

"Actually, Moira, and for once, Pearl, are right," she replied. "If you're gonna do this, you've gotta start with something easy."

True.

Hmm. "How about the cat Amy did?"

"Yeah. That sounds good. Now follow my lead. First, think of what you wanna be, and then, just shake it out." The shaking allows her to become the cat from earlier. "See? Haha! Now your turn."

"Okay. (Grunting) Cat..!"

I chuckle. "Kid, you're trying to morph, not go Super Saiyan."

"You're too tense, Steven," Amy adds. "Just relax and feel it. Biorhythms, yo." She proceeded to eat chips.

What would you know about that?

Steven places his fingers on his temple. "Feel it..!"

"Steven, it's fine," I console. "It doesn't always have to work the first time."

"No wait! I can do it!" A grunt later and nothing seems to have changed. Amethyst went back to her regular form.

"Well, it was worth a good try."

(Meow!)

Hmm?

It sounds like a cat…

He looks around himself to see if something happened. But opening his palm, he revealed the situation at… hand.

(Rim shot)

Eh? Eh?

I'm expecting to be hit by a tomato now.

But seriously, it was a cat on his finger. It started mewling, almost begging for attention.

"This is so cool!"

Steven, I'm actually jealous of your enthusiasm now.

"You should totally show your dad!" Amy exclaims. "He's gonna freak!"

Laughing, he ran out to the wash. Meanwhile, I was still standing there… now for some reason eating chips from a bag that appeared from out of nowhere in my hand.

"When did I grab these?" I ask, to no one in particular. I shrug, grabbing another piece. But then I realized something.

He only meant to shapeshift for a singular thing, right? So… why did his finger become a live cat?

"Hey, Amy, have you ever had an appendage actually come to life like that?"

"Uh… I don't think so. But I wouldn't worry about it. It's just a cat finger; what harm can it do?"

"(Crunch) True, but I still think I should keep an eye on him. Just in case. Hold these for me." I hand her the bag.

I don't expect it to be anywhere filled when I come back.

"LYNX, biorhythm scan, please."

"Scanning…" She sniffs the air. If there's anything she's good at is to ease the tension. "The Big Donut?"

"That's where we're headed then." A jump later and I'm at the entrance, seeing that Steven is inside. Huh, a pure donut shop. I had a family owned establishment that worked with teas; this sort of reminded me about it. Opening the door, I catch him in the middle of his transaction.

"That'll be a dollar o' five, Steven," a teenage girl says. She's with another taller lankier guy behind the counter. She was wearing a periwinkle polo underneath a purple shirt, which displays the Big Donut logo (an image of a half-eaten donut that resembles the letters "B' and 'D') as well as black leggings and pink-red shoes. Her hair was a curly blond.

The guy was wearing the same type of shirt, but underneath was a white-gray long-sleeved shirt and was paired with ripped, dark blue jeans, and high top sneakers. You know, I at least commend him for having a mohawk that long.

Not gonna lie, the logo is pretty damn smart. Nice one, Rebecca.

"Mm, okay. Here's a nickel. And a buck!" The currency was rolled so that the cat can hold it. It mewled once it got attention.

"What..!?"

"Oh, Steven, that's adorable!" she says, petting it.

So what am I, chopped liver? Then again, I prefer not to have the attention due to my battle instincts and paranoia.

The strangest thing though? The purring…

"Steven, how are you doing that?" I ask, essentially taking the question from the other's minds and getting their surprised attention.

"I don't know. It kinda does what it wants."

"Really?" the other guys asks, poking it. The cat didn't appreciate one bit so it bites the incoming appendage. "Yow!"

"See what I mean? Bad cat finger!" It causes me to chuckle a bit, how he's scowling at his own finger.

Then again, animals do detect something sometimes. I'm just hoping I'm wrong.

"Oh, I'm sure it just wanna to play," the girl said.

"(Gasp) You're right! And he doesn't have any friends."

"Oh, my gosh!" the guy goes. "(Mockingly) It's just like you, Steven." I was right… he's a jerk.

"You better choose your next words carefully," I say, kind of singsongy and more focused on the kid trying to create more cats than those two at the counter.

"Huah!" His remaining fingers then become cats after he stretches.

"Uh…" I try to come up with a cohesive sentence. Nothing comes out.

It doesn't seem to affect him. Laughing, Steven leaves, essentially leaving me alone. Sheesh, kid.

"Uh… so… you want a donut?" she asks.

Did I see the faintest of a blush?

"No, thanks," I reply. "Sorta lost my appetite. So… uh, what's up?"

"It's been slow. Who are you?" she asks. At least she's more respectful than the guy who froze just by looking at me and trying not to drool.

"Oh! My name is Moissanite Allison Walker. I'm, uh… Steven's… older sister." I literally almost forgot my alibi. "But you can call me Moira."

"Okay. I'm Sadie and that's Lars." She pointed to the guy staring. He shook his head.

"Wait, Steven never mentioned an older sister…"

It was more analytical than it was affectionate…

"Um… oh, that? Well, I, uh…" Shit, I was not ready for that. "Oh, that's right! I just recently found him! See, back then, I was with my mom until she… passed."

They seemed saddened at the explanation.

"D-Don't feel bad. Before he went, she told me about my half brother's father and I eventually found him here." He seemed to have bought the excuse. Sadie, however, didn't look very convinced but shrugged nonetheless. "In any case, I need to get back to him, try to see if the cats get out of control." I quickly run out, hoping I avoided any more questions.

I reach him ordering at Fryman's. Huh, Peedee works the grill now?

"Make me some fry bits!"

"Steven, I take my job seriously. Please order from the actual menu. Oh, hello, Moira."

"Hey."

"Alright, look," Fryman comes into view, "it'll be easier if you just get him what he wants." Peedee walks back to the deep fryer to make said bits.

"Whoa, hey, now," Steven defends, "it's not for me; it's fo' these guys!"

They mewl like they usually do when they appear. I have to admit, it is kinda creepy, but I've seen better and worse.

"What the..!?" the father exclaims.

"Here's your…" He stops to look at the cats. "... bits…"

The cat soon eat them, making it weird and cute, oddly enough. It's rather…

"I can't look away…" Yeah, that.

Neither can I.

"Steven, that is freakish!"

"No, it's not, it's natural!" He started to wave his other arm. "Shake… it… out!" The other fingers became cats as well, essentially starting to creep me out as well.

"Okay, now," I say, wanting to say something more cohesive, but… "You should probably go easy…"

"Whoa..!"

"You know who would love this?" Fryman goes. "Your older brother. Yo, Ronaldo!"

An older kid, carrying a box, passed by. He has long, blond, "fry-like" hair that resembles Peedee's curly fry hair. He wears a burgundy collared shirt with orange and yellow flames covered by his apron. The angle was weird.

"What's up, da..!" Hew dropped the box and pushed Peedee to the side to get closer. "I've gotta take a pic for Keep Beach City Weird!" He took his phone out to take said pic. Steven posed and the cats meowed.

"What's that?" Steven asks.

"It's my blog. Keep! Beach! City! Weird!" He started fist pumping.

So… I am chopped liver. Not even a hello.

Apparently, it's enough to make Peedee groan.

"Can I see the picture?" the kid asks, prompting Ronaldo to pass the phone. However…

The cat fingers yowl in pain as Steven made a grab to the phone being handed. The phone was immediately dropped but I manage to grab it via MagLev before it hit the floor.

"Sorry, guys. I guess cat fingers don't function well as... fingers."

You think?

"Uh, Steven, maybe you should head back home," I say. "I'll catch up soon."

"Okay." He started running back home. I really hope the Gems can help with his problem. At first it was cute, but now, it's quickly became a problem.

Though I should maybe get my guns calibrated to shut it down should it spiral out of control.

I take one glance at the family before looking back out and realizing that I'm alone. "Oh!"

"Moira, need anything?" Fryman asks.

"Uh, no thanks, Mr. Fryman; I need to get back. Just wondering what I need before I return." I pick up the phone and give it back to Ronaldo. "Here you go." He takes it and only now realizes me.

"Uh… so, you new here?" he asks, though I will say that he has a lot more chivalry than I thought any other random guy would.

Good.

Probably has a girlfriend or something.

Hmm. Even better.

"Yeah, I, uh…" My 'phone' rings to allow a distraction. LYNX knows when to get me away from this situation. "Peedee can tell you, actually. I need to get back."

Running down to the beachside, I see the Gems at the docks, Steven a bit behind. Once he gets there, however, the Gems have already taken off.

"Steven!" Pearl states.

"(Laugh) Come on, you can make it," Amethyst encourages.

"Steven, I don't think-"

His hands went in the water and the cats immediately got grizzled. The Gems gasp when they hear that.

Pearl, being who she is, obviously was the first to show concern.

"Steven, what's going on?"

"I-It's nothing!" Nothing my ass. "I just turned all my finger into cats!"

Never thought I'd hear someone else saying that.

Amethyst suppressed a laugh. Honestly, I had to as well. Some of this just comes off as comical to be honest.

"We have to stay and help Steven!"

"We can't," Garnet replies, "this is a tectonic emergency."

"Amethyst, I blame you for this!"

She shrugs. "That's fair." Pearl could only groan.

"Guys, don't worry," I say, walking in the water. "Just go and deal with your situation. I'll stay with Steven and help him out."

"Please help him, Moira!" They got far to the point of yelling.

Once we get back, I walk back and forth to figure out what to do.

"Food isn't gonna help, and my elemental prowess doesn't even go this far…" I try to balance my options here… "LYNX, what do you think?"

"Look for a possible weakness," she replied. "Surely, even finger cats should have something. My scans don't show anything, however…"

"Augh, enough! No more cat fingers!" He tried shaking them off. It didn't work. "I want Steven fingers! And I don't me little me heads on fingers, I mean my regular fingers!"

I'd say that's creepy, but when you've lived for at least 25 thousand years like I have, nothing is anymore.

"That wouldn't work… unless I- huh?" More cats appear, not even allowing for physics to take place. "Yo, what the?"

His forehead had a cat and his right hand became one whole cat, fucking SOMEHOW.

More started appearing on various parts of his body, prompting him to panic.

Fuck me, this is actually starting to gross me out the door!

"Steven!" I kneel down to see what I could do.

"Moira! Help!"

"Uh…" I look around, not sure of what to do.

"Amethyst!" He started naming them, probably in hopes that they return quickly. I wouldn't blame him. "Pearl! Garnet! (Gasp) Dad!"

"What?"

"Moira, take me to my dad!"

I don't know how he'll help, but, "Okay!"

Carrying him, I immediately run to the car wash, hoping that he's still there. Sunset already came and went and I'm pretty sure most people would already be at home or something.

However, I'm hoping that in wrong. Steven started growing more cats, essentially blocking my view.

"We're closed," I hear, telling me I'm getting closer. "Come back tomorrow- aah!" A stream of water came to splash me and the kid, quickly drenching us.

"Dad!" I hear Steven struggle to say.

"Huh? Steven?" He gasps.

"Greg! Help!" A cat comes to bite me and I quickly jump back, dodging it and sort of dropping him in the process. "Oh! Sorry, Steven!"

"Help! The cat fingers are taking over my body!" The cats have not stopped appearing since I grabbed him.

"Hold on!" Greg looked around and tried to pull him away from the wreckage but a cat suddenly grabbed his arm with his mouth and threw him to the side.

Jesus Christ, they're strong.

"No! Bad cat fingers!" (Splash) A puddle?

The reaction was instantaneous. They frizzled and jump, allowing Steven to grip the corner of the building.

Well, jeez, I know we cats jump high, but he's at least 200 pounds now!

"Can't you make them go away!?" his father exclaims.

"He tried, but this happened!" I fill.

"Oh, my life is over!" Steven! "I can't go on magic adventures! I can't even open the fridge! And I'll never get to have another water fight with you, Dad! Because these things hate… (Gasp)"

"Water…" I grab from the puddles and prepare myself. "Greg, full blast!"

He gasped but nodded. We took aim to the giant growing blob and gun it down with an endless barrage of a hose and a Jet Stream. However, it only served to piss them off even further. It jumped down to try and attack us, but they were immediately stopped when Steven grabbed the edge of the building.

"It's not enough water!"

"Like hell it isn't!" I quickly take out my Double Barrels and reload them with another pair of extended magazines.

"What are you doing!?" Greg asks, understandably worried.

"Trying something else!" A barrage of water bullets come out, tackling the cats with a heavy force of liquid. It served enough to push them back, maybe even drop one or two, but they didn't leave.

Every shell clicks onto the ground, only resonating with failure.

"Damn it!"

"It still isn't enough!" What now then!? He looked somewhere else. "Turn on the super wash!"

"Huh!?"

"No, I won't do it!" Greg yells. "It's too dangerous!"

"You've got to! I'm a monster! An adorable cat monster!"

Monster, yes. Adorable? Fuck to the hell no!

"(Tearing) No, you're not! You're my son!"

"Dad, please!" Damn. His anguished yells are starting to drive me into tears. Greg took of his headphones and immediately runs inside to start the thing. A buzzer tells me it's ready.

"Sorry, Steven!" Was the last thing I say before tackling him and making sure a cat gets stuck into the wheel rollers. And even though I make as much a mess as I possibly can wherever I go, I'd rather not have Greg be on any list when people see casings on the floor. With quick magnetism, I lift them up and put them away, making a note to refill them.

Running to the exit, I quickly reload with another water bullet stocked magazine just in case. Greg as well comes out with his hose ready. "Ready?"

"Yeah." Steven is nearing the exit. Though, whyever his carwash is cornered is beyond me.

Steam engulfs us, forcing me to block my eyes.

"Steven?" I ask, looking down. (Sigh) He's back to normal. His clothes are ripped somewhat but he's okay.

"Guys… we did it…"

I chuckle a slight bit before he raises his hand and we see that his index finger is still a cat.

"Fu-udge!" Whoa now! Not in front of the kid, damn it!

Greg hoses it while I empty both magazines into his hand, making sure that thing is completely gone.

We guffaw say first then laugh at the relief that is the completion of bringing Steven back to normal.

He stayed on the ground, laughing until he was exhausted, more so than before. Probably fainted.

"And I thought I've seen it all," I say, after it was all said and done. Seriously, this actually tired me out somehow.

"Yeah… that was certainly… interesting," Greg thinks of. "At least it's over now. Why don't you two go back home? After all, Steven could use some better clothes."

Limited wardrobe much? I've only seen this outfit for the past week.

"Sure thing, Greg, and I would appreciate if you didn't tell anyone about…" I tap my guns to show the emphasis. "… these. The last thing I want is any more trouble than what I keep running into nowadays."

"Hey, don't worry. My lips are sealed."

I nod and grab Steven, jumping back to the home. Though I'm honestly not gonna change him. I'll wring the water out, but this isn't what I signed up for.

Plus, wow, am I tired…

Morning came and I went out to the docks to hope that the Gems come back soon. Steven joins up, sitting next to me on the edge. My shoes were removed so I can swirl my feet in the water.

"Steven, do me a favor?"

"Yeah?"

"Follow Pearl's advice," that's one, and two, "and don't bite off more than you can chew." Ruffling his hair, he chuckles a bit before we see something coming.

Hey, look.

"The Gems."

"Steven!" The sloop docks and Pearl quickly comes up, grabbing his hand. "Okay, let me see it… (Stammering) You… you got them to go away?"

He smiles and it passes to me. After all, it was his ideas.

"It just goes to show, always listen to me, and never listen to Amethyst."

Okay, that seems a bit extreme.

"That's fair," Amy replies. Really, girl?

"It goes to show, you should have a little more faith in Steven," Garnet wisely states.

"Hear, hear," I add.

"Yeah, that would have been a total CAT-tastrophe!"

You…

… you motherfucker…

Damn it.

The sudden pun made me laugh. I don't care if it's cheesy or lame or even offensive to the subject or at me, they're all funny to me.

The others, however… don't see it that way…

Amy sarcastically laughs while Pearl gives a basic pity laugh.

Garnet just… stood still.

"But I'm feeling much better MEOW!" Goddamn…

They groan. I did too, mostly to suppress my laughter.

"Ehhh? What's the matter? Cat got your tongue?" Piece of…

"Okay, that's enough," Garnet commands, before they all start walking back. I get my shoes on quickly to stay close to them.

"Wait, I've been coming up with cat jokes all morning." Explains a bit. "You guys, I'm FELINE fine." Son of a... "Everything's PURRRRFECT!" Come on! "Oh, come on! I'm just KITTEN around!"

I couldn't hold back anymore. Quickly, my stifled giggle became a hardened laughter,

"I can't take it!" Steven begins laughing with me. "Steven, you're killing me."

Seriously. I can't.

* * *

 **No, for real, I honestly love puns, even the lame ones. You know Supa Hot Fire? Every pun in every episode had that accompanied with a yell like that. Lol.**

 **Not much to say except for hope you enjoy New Year's if I don't say it again with another chapter. Review me, flame me, love me, hate me, constructively criticize me, overly contemplate me. Sesquipadelian Loquaciousness, Antidisestablishmentarianism, Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious, hippopotomonstrosesquipadeliophobia, I apologize for those who have it.**

 **See you next time.**

 **RaNd0Mk1D8o3I**


	7. Chapter 7: Bubble Buddies

**What is up, peoples and persons?**

 **A bit of silence is golden, but I'm pretty sure that's not the case for those who want more of what they like... assuming you actually like my material, lol.**

 **Ha, but no, a bunch of life punched my face and I'm trying hard to get it all fixed. Don't worry, I'm not dead... yet. Rofl. Living it up.**

 **Anyway, hopefully I'll be uploading more frequently since I'm also trying hard to escape that huge writer's block I've have after New Year's. Considering myself lucky that I had this one prewritten a week back.**

 **All the legalities apart, I don't own Steven Universe or any of it's affiliates that isn't my original content; all rights exclusive to Rebecca Sugar.**

 **Enjoy.**

* * *

Restocking the fridge was probably the most confusing thing yet. Pearl gave me a weird list of exact proportions and detailed orders of what to get. I'm currently carrying a few things back, but suddenly, tremors happen, almost making me drop my groceries.

"What the…"

An earthquake?

No…

Can't be; the vibrations aren't strong or deep enough.

"Was that an earthquake?" Amy asks.

"Nah, probably just something opening," I say. "It's a common thing if one considers underground animals, previous probable fracking, and other miscellaneous situations."

At least… it is back in my world.

"It had to be an earthquake."

"Moira has a point, Amethyst," Pearl adds. "It's probably collapsed tunnels."

I shrug and we get to the beachside, getting closer to Steven's house.

(Rumble) Whoa. There it is again.

"Earthquake. Called it." Wow, girl, you say it so casually…

"I don't think they are earthquakes, they're too frequent!"

Pearl also has a point.

Hmm? A bike?

It crashed in front of us, Steven running in after it.

"Hey look! Steven's got a bike!" He kind of ignores us. "Where ya going, Steven?"

"Just out for a ride," he states… not giving any other info.

"On the beach, kid?" I question.

"Yep!" He leaves without another word.

"Uh…" I want to make a cohesive sentence, but nothing comes out… "Let's just get inside. Maybe it'll all be in due time."

"'All be'?" Pearl got confused.

"Meaning the answers will come sooner or later. In the meantime, I'll put these things away." Once inside, I organize the things either in the fridge or pantry, depending on what they were. But it wasn't long before the Gems start peering through the window.

I had everything put away quickly so I could see as well. Not only do I want to look out for the kid, but this seems interesting… "LYNX, zoom please."

"Affirmative."

A screen comes out, showing what she could see after floating out there and giving us a better angle.

Oh, my God, Steven, you need help.

After a what was probably an embarrassing move, he quickly came back, slamming the door and panting once he was inside. A small blush was on his cheeks, meaning he messed something up.

But due to our positions, he probably got anxious. "Whaddup?"

Pearl started. "Who were you talking to?" Though I'm pretty sure it was more teasing than what she tried to not do.

He tried acting confused.

"That girl," Garnet stated.

"You saw?" He blushed again. "She's just a girl I know, except she doesn't know me. We never talked." He seemed kinda disappointed.

Amethyst was the first to gasp. "You like her!" She squished his face.

"(Smushed) I like everyone…"

True.

Pearl also gasped. "Let's set up a play-date! I'll write up an invitation and work out a schedule. Ohh! We'll have to find out her favorite kind of tea…"

"Jeez, girl, so punctual," I say, about to bite into an apple. "Steven, just talk to her. If you could easily befriend me, someone like her should be no difficult thing. More importantly, just be yourself."

"Okay. But you guys can't watch this time! It'll mess up my funky flow."

"(All… except Garnet) Funky flow?" But my way of saying it was more of a simple slightly sarcastic statement than a question.

"We won't watch." Garnet adjusted her visor.

"Alright!" He ran into the fridge to grab a little something. It glowed somewhat.

"What's that?"

"Nothing!" Steven ran back outside.

"(Crunch) Didn't seem like it." I finish the last part and put the seeds away in my pouch, throwing away the pit of it after. Usually, I can grow more in a heartbeat, but I'd rather save them up first.

More tremors come, along with what sound like a roar. It made some dust fly inside but that's about it.

"Confirmed," I say, "these aren't earthquakes. No planet I've been to makes any sound like that during shocks, especially not any version of earth."

"But if they aren't earthquakes, then what can they be?" I hear from Pearl.

"I'm not sure, but I'll look into it. LYNX here can help me pinpoint the epicenter and hopefully find the cause. If you need me, I'll be right here." They nod and leave somewhere. The door that houses their rooms opens for a minute allowing them inside.

A few screens came front and showed a map of beach city, along with the topography of said place. "You have a point, Matthew. There seems to be no fault line or plate edge anywhere near the city…" LYNX concludes.

"Then what could be causing this? Surely there must be-" Hmm?

I didn't move that far away from the window. A pink bubble tried rolling up the hill…

Is that..? "Is that Steven?" Who's the girl?

They try to come up the hill but instead roll somewhere else. Then again, it is a steep hill full of sand.

"LYNX, keep researching, please," I go, before making sure I have everything. "I'm gonna go check out what's going on with Steven."

"Of course." The screens disappear and I quickly walk out, not sure where they went. A trail that looks semicircular is getting somewhere but it stops once it reaches the asphalt.

Okay, not a good start, but I think I-

Hmm?

Someone is laughing the shit out of themselves while someone is banging on something. Turning a corner… oh, it's Sadie and Lars. He's the one laughing while she's attempting to break it with a hammer.

"Way to go, Steven! Is this your magic love bubble or something? (Teasing) Did you make it because you're in looove?"

Jesus Christ. And I thought my snarking was terrible…

"That's Lars," Steven says inside to the girl. "We're basically BFF's."

Fuck me, man; if they're best friends, then I'm an eagle.

"He makes weird faces," the girl says.

I can hear kissy sounds, telling me what I need to know.

"Lars, quit being a jerk and help!" Sadie exclaims. Rolling my eyes, I attempt to get closer, hoping not to grab any attention.

Though honestly, I don't think I need to try. Those two kept arguing.

"What? I'm helping Steven on his date."

"You're embarrassing him!"

"No. I'm not!"

"Yes, you are!"

"Ugh…" I groan at their incessant attitude. "Steven. You okay?" He perked up at my voice.

"(Gasp) Moira!"

"Who's she?" the girl asks.

"Moissanite Allison Walker," I greet. "But you can call me Moira for short. I'm Steven's older half sister."

"Connie. Nice to meet you."

I tap the bubble, it sounding like a very powerful metal. "Little, uh… bit stuck, huh?"

"(Chuckling) Yeah."

"(Battle cry) Augh!"

Something breaks over the bubble and I had the motherfucking audacity to bring my swords out.

(Gasp) In other words, I nearly friggin killed Sadie!

But I spun around in a swift motion and stopped myself before anyone even realized something, going as far as hiding my blades behind me. Phew. They just thought I avoided being hit by the stool. Damn my instincts…

"Well, that didn't work," I say, not even getting a sarcastic comeback. "If you both could please lie down or something… I have another idea." I pull them out again.

Everyone jumped back at the resonance of my blades. The two quickly get down.

"Come on..!" A swift strike down and the thing doesn't budge. It rolls them a bit, but that's it. Oh, it's like that, huh?

To make sure it doesn't move, I bring up a few small columns to keep it in place. A swing here. A stab there. Spinning wind attacks. Cross slice! Grr… Pop already!

"Lightning Strike!*" My energy flowed through my arms and into the swords, ready for a good drop. I jump back and swing my blades, striking the object in a linear attack.

However, it struck the bubble without any results. The energy just grounded slowly down the bubble, dissipating once it hit the concrete.

It completely baffled me. Tapping a side with the tip of my sword, it really does sound like a hardened metal. Even feels like it too.

"Welp. It's confirmed. This thing is airtight. You two okay?"

They nod. I didn't even realize they stood up.

Sadie and Lars, however…

"How did you do that?" Sadie asks.

"I'll tell you later. Anyone else have an idea?"

Steven took a minute to think. "I got it."

We stood at the pier, looking around. What are we doing here?

We traveled a bit north to the docks. There were a few boats swimming about.

"Whoa. A trawler! And a little skip-jack!" Connie expressed her excitement towards the floating vehicles.

"You sure know a lot about boats," Steven compliments.

"That's what happens when you hang out at the beach and don't swim and don't have friends…" Oh… "You look at boats."

Okay. That's kinda sad.

"So… what are we doing out here?" I ask.

I notice a kid running by. Steven struggled a bit to catch up. "Onion!" A root vegetable? But he didn't respond. "Onion!" Finally he catches on.

Where'd he get the popcorn?

The kid had a small tuft of blond hair and a chubby face. He wore a white sweater, a deep periwinkle shirt tied around his neck, and pale red footie pants. I thought those went out of style back in the early 90's, but I digress.

"We need a harpoon gun!"

Record scratch.

"Exsqueeze me?"

"To pop the bubble." He says it so fucking casually, it scares me.

"Can't we just go back to your house?" Connie asks.

"Seems like a better idea," I add.

"It's okay, I'm a Gem." We know you're a Gem, Steven, but still. "Onion, we need a harpoon gun!"

The kid doesn't respond.

"(Slowly) Harpoon gun!"

No response again.

Steven exhaled on the bubble, somehow making fog. He then starts drawing a random sketch of a boat, something it's shooting at, and the scenery all while drawing out, "Har… poon… gun…"

Onion doesn't budge. He just bites the popcorn. K got it, but… not that simple.

Steven groans at the notion.

"Let me try." Connie tries his method, but instead writes it rather than draws it.

Onion gave a thumbs up and left.

"It just made more sense."

"True…" I take a second to think. But it's quickly blown away by the boat horn that somehow sounds. I quickly drop myself in the case that he misses and once the harpoon is shot, it hits the bubble… only for it to deflect it at a right angle fucking SOMEHOW. It hit a boat hull, quickly making it sink.

The part wasn't even near the water…

I'm starting to question the logic of this realm so friggin much…

"The trawler…"

Onion still gives a thumbs up, almost not caring that he literally committed vandalism.

It kept sinking… rather slowly.

"Um… we should go," I say, getting very uneasy.

"What?" I hear something crack. Now the cabin burst into flames.

"No time to talk, just go!" I jump on the bubble and balance myself.

"Huh?" Another crack. The flames completely engulf the boat.

"(Rapidly) Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!" We start rolling away, my backwards walking helping go faster. I may have done a few things related to this, but I'd rather not have my past life be brought up…

Once we're off the docks, Steven forces us into a different direction.

"Steven, where are we going?"

We walked a bit westward, reaching another set of boardwalk.

A sign read 'Beach City Funland'. Huh.

"Funland?" Connie asks.

"Yeah! Tons of horrible accidents happen here everyday! There's gotta be something to break this bubble."

Can someone please tell me why the fuck is he so casual about this? And how he hasn't died yet?

Maybe it's because he's still a kid and has no grasp of a lot of things. Or maybe because Rose is his mother and she had a certain spirit.

Or… something.

"Um…" Connie couldn't even talk.

"I agree." I jump off, almost attempting to push them back. This is kind of a disaster waiting to happen.

"We just gotta find the right ride." He looks around and spots a roller coaster. "Yeah, the kiddie coaster! Alright, we just roll down this ramp as the carts are coming at us, and the crash will break us free!"

Sound plan. But… "What's your contingency?"

"Yeah, what happens after the bubble pops?" Connie points out the flaw further.

"We'll be free!"

Yup.

She looks at him in disbelief.

So do I.

"Steven, this is a bad idea-"

"Still agree. Why don't we-" Another tremor, along with what sounded like a roar came, shaking us a slight bit.

Then again, out of all the ideas, to be honest, a fairground on a pier seems like the worst idea ever.

"This'll work!" He pushes the bubble onto the tracks, rolling the… opposite direction of the train!?

"Steven, wait!" It was too late. The cart hit the bubble, pushing them instead of popping it. Damn, that's one durable shell.

Unfortunately, the operator stops the ride and it doesn't stop Steven and Connie. Damn it, they're flying into the ocean!

"Hold on!" Running to the edge of the boardwalk, I quickly remove my dress and stuff it into the pouch. Don't worry; I'm always in sarashi wraps.

This is gonna be cold…

"LYNX, help me target them."

"Standing by."

Taking a deep breath, I jump over the railing, diving in and making sure I transform into the hybrid. A few feet down and I can breathe properly.

Huh. Not much a difference. My blue fur comes but with our a striped pattern and I seem to be a light shade of blue. I didn't get to see myself the last time since I was more concerned about my identity.

See, it's weird, and like I said before, our half animal state allows us to breath underwater, in outer space, and (If you can sustain to do so) in lava. I don't do so on a constant basis, but still.**

Also, it serves to delay the immediate cold that is this ocean. Seriously, this is about freezing despite being after the summer solstice. Sure, you get used to it when you swim, but this is an emergency, damn it.

I look around, swimming swiftly to hope that they're okay. Oh, good; LYNX has them.

"500 meters northeast, 37 feet below. Be careful; I finally figured out what's causing the fissures. You'll see it soon."

Going that direction, they start coming into my vision. Whoa!

I narrowly avoided collision with a worm..? Of some kind?

It swam a slight bit above me, probably not even seeing me of any interest. It was eating some glowing algae or something.

"There it is."

"Wait, that thing is causing it? Then why hasn't Beach City been hit with flooding?"

"It's not powerful enough…"

But it soon roared and burrowed below, causing fissures and a crack to head towards the bubble. I think it heard LYNX.

"Steven! Connie!" Gurgles came and they didn't seem to notice me. But I don't take any chance and take out my assault rifle pieces and assemble them, in the just case I need to.

This was once an invention from my late sister. Actually, most of my ranged weapons are. She has a genius IQ that doubly surpasses the likes of Einstein and Hawking combined. So it's easy to see that water doesn't affect much of the gun's properties, even if wet.

Nothing happens after. Going to the fissure, I go down to see Steven attempting to comfort Connie, probably because this is an admittedly scary situation. Once I get close, I knock and they're glad that I'm here… but they got weirded out.

It's the ears and tail isn't it?

"Listen, I'll tell you later, but right now, I'm taking you kids out of here."

They smiled and nodded.

Fuck my luck though as the bubble suddenly bursts open, leaving them to drown who knows how deep.

"Damn it!" Instantly, I make a small bubble for ourselves, moving the water and allowing an air pocket to form. They quickly kneel down, Steven taking deep breaths and Connie coughing what water she had.

"Thanks, Moira," Steven goes.

"(Sigh) I'm just glad you kids are okay. Now come on; we have a Gem creature to poof."

Using a bit of ice to create our ground, I start to slowly levitate us up, mindful of the nitrogenous consumption we may have. It doesn't affect me, but I don't want these kids to get the bends.

"So… you're half cat?" Steven asks, now that we had time.

"Well, that's more of an added perk that I can use if I need it."

"And why do you have a Polish FB Modular Firearm System rifle with an M203?" Connie asks.

"I wouldn't exactly says it's that exact gun. Furthermore, I-" Huh? I had to stop myself before I'm realizing that I'm explaining this to an 11-year-old. "How do you know the exact derivation?"

"I… read a lot of other stuff too." She scratched her head and looked away, probably embarrassed that she spilled that.

Hmm.

"It was a precaution, in the just case the worm was gonna attack. I'll tell you later about my background but for now, we need to get to shore." We eventually reached the surface, seeing that the beach wasn't that far away. "Okay. Now we-"

(Splash!)

"Whoa!" A tidal wave washed us to shore, drenching us yet again. I was knocked face first into the sand.

"Moira!" I feel the two getting closer.

"I'm okay." I pick myself up just to see that there's a fish in my mouth. "(Pbbt) Ugh… (Shiver)"

Fish taste disgusting… unless they're cooked, heh.

Hmm?

The worm starts slithering on the surface, ready to attack us. Great.

"Uh oh. Kids, get to the house; I'm deal with the bait!"

"Got it!" They start running towards his home.

Finally some fun.

"Come at me!" It went up and… took a right turn?

The fuck? I'm right here!

(Gasp) Kids!

I run to the direction of the head, hoping that it won't attack either of the two. They separate into different paths, Connie climbing the rocks, and Steven running under the pier. But… it's going after Connie!?

Grabbing my sword, I stab the tail end down, forcing it to stop. I aim my sights and began barraging it with bullets, taking great care that it won't deflect or hit either of the two.

"Give me the bracelet!" I hear that before the sword breaks off and lets the worm go, now chasing after… Steven?

The glowstick…

"Connie, over here!" I yell. She runs to me, getting behind me as I shield her. Steven started running back and forth, forcing the worm to tangle itself within the supports of the pier.

Clever boy.

Eventually, he reaches us and the worm stops, reaching its limit. It struggles against the bonds that is itself, trying to bite at the glow that's about 10 feet away. The strain on the docks makes it look like Steven had the idea of using his surroundings proficiently.

Hmm? A look behind me and I see that they're… holding proficient.

That's kinda cute.

But I would rather keep the collateral damage to a minimum. Putting away my main gun, I take out my Scatterpoint and aim at the head, ready to end it.

"Is that a Benelli M4 Super 90?" Connie is amazed.

"Custom made 16 gauge." Was my premortem line before shooting it and having the buckshot destroy it's form.

(Poof)

It didn't take long before I hear his guardians come forth.

"Steven!"

"Steven, what's going on?! What did you do?!" Jeez, Pearl. The pier isn't destroyed… just horribly mangled. It'll hold.

"They were incredible!" Connie had stars in her eyes… somehow. Then again, Steven also gets wingding eyes…

"Really? You mean it?" Steven got bashful. She nods to confirm. "Here's your bracelet... again."

"Thanks."

"Ow." (Thud) Before it bounces again, I grab the Gem that hit my head before it hit something else. "This gonna be a regular thing?" I throw it over to Garnet, who promptly bubbles it. The others share a small laugh before Amethyst gets behind Steven.

"So, are you going to introduce us?" she asks, in a slightly teasing manner.

"Steven was so excited to meet you," Pearl says to Connie. "Right, Steven?"

All he could do was laugh and blush.

"Hey!" Garnet pick up the two, making me shrink my eyes. Then again, they don't particularly seem heavy. "Don't mess with his funky flow." She even tows them away.

"Funky… flow..?" Connie asks.

Steven groaned nervously, almost as if he wanted to laugh. I smile and roll my eyes, resting my arms under my head. But my tail is pulled away, also by Garnet.

I was slowly dragged as well. Pearl and Amethyst were actually surprised at the notion rather than my cat being.

"Okay, so the painful pulling of my tail, why?" I'm not kidding, it hurts.

"You still have explaining to do."

Scratch that off as well.

* * *

 **I'm gonna admit, though, this was a little harder to write due to the exterior character view that is Moira and not the whole dramatic irony that is the it was something just changed within plot, it'd be easy, but the whole notion of an alien who doesn't know the show, well... puts things in perspective, doesn't it? Ha.**

 **Lightning Strike: Energy Element  
Linear based move with a single target: Beam of highly concentrated lightning  
No pro or con**

 **** Look, if you're like me, probably not, lol, a lot of things will fly. I sometimes force myself to think that fanfiction isn't canon and usually instead theories so I can be mentally satisfied. It's mostly with moving plots or romantic ones, depends. So... let this suspend your disbelief. Lmfao.**

 **Like I said, hopefully I can get started on writing more. Hopefully on this and not music, lol.**

 **See you next time.**

 **RaNd0Mk1D8o3I**


	8. Chapter 8: Serious Steven

What is up, peoples and persons?

Hey, so, sorry, for those who like this, for the long wait. You could say that life hit a lot and, well, I had to prolong any written thing. But I'm back, hopefully, so expect a little something now and then.

All the legalities apart, I don't own Steven Universe or any of it's affiliates; all rights exclusive to Rebecca Sugar.

Enjoy. :)

* * *

I did say adventure would be fun. But honestly, warp pads are something else. Sure, I can teleport, but I haven't been wherever we're going yet, so…

Wait, where are we headed again?

"Pay attention, Steven," Garnet states, "this is going to be your first serious mission. You need to be ready."

Wait.

Then what was the Lunar Spire, basic training? Advanced?

… final?

"Yes! I'm ready! I'm _so_ ready!" I chuckle a bit when I see that he's flying upside down.

And because I felt something like that would happen, all my weapons are away right now. Sure, I could prepare with my sword in hand, but I think we'll start off okay.

"Steven, come on, you're gonna get yourself sick," Pearl slightly scolds when she turns him back upright, the headstock of the ukulele he was carrying hitting her face after. "(Scoff) Why did you bring that?"

"(Excitedly) I don't know! I was excited and it's mine and I like it!" He put his hands up, making the strap fly upwards. He started swimming after it.

"Albeit, it would be nice for some music in case it gets heavy," I say, supporting Steven's decision.

"Steven, get back here! You could get seriously-"

The warp stopped, telling me that we have regained gravity. However, Steven was high enough that he was actually pushed out of the stream and into the same gra…

Oh.

Yup. He fell. *Thud*

His impact made me flinch a bit. But then I get splashed… by a… strawberry?

"... hurt! Steven, are you okay?"

"I'm fine! I'm good. I'm just a bit… gooey." He proceeded to lick off the mashed fruit on his arm. Hmm?

A swarm of butterflies immediately surround us, looking at us menacingly… if you can see if that way. But they instantly land on Steven, who started screaming at the notion and runs away to get away from them.

However, a moment of silence ensued, telling me that he most likely ran off the screen. Oh, wait, he came back, still screaming. A small swat trying to get them and he falls. Or facefaults. Take your pick.

I couldn't stop giggling though. It was funny. Even the splash of jelly on my face didn't bother me.

Don't judge me.

Garnet simply brushes them away, the butterflies flying.

"They're just butterflies, Steven," she calmly says.

"They only wanted the sugar on your face," I say, just as I wipe the jelly off mine and have some butterflies on my hand.

He laughed a bit. "Well, they looked a lot bigger when they were on my eyeballs."

"That too."

Amy laughed a bit. "Steven, you're a riot!"

"I'm suddenly having second thoughts about bringing Steven on this mission," Pearl states, understandably worried.

"Shh… Just look at him." Garnet placed a hand on Pearl's shoulder, allowing her to see the funky pose he makes.

"You worry too much," I add. "Steven can handle it; you'll see."

It was enough to put her at ease. Garnet nodded.

"Now let's go get that gemstone."

We soon begin walking. I'm amazed at the scenery, to be honest. I'd describe it, but I think Pearl beat me to it.

"Unbelievable… this was once a Gem battlefield; now it's wild strawberries as far as the eye can see!" She towels a bit. "Oh, that's what I love about the Earth! Maybe this will be a light mission after all. Oomph." A chuckle became a grunt when she collided into the leader.

I almost did too, but due to the fact that I was paying more attention to the swords and other obscure weapons sticking out, it has me a bit on high alert.

My sight eventually turned to the _giant upside down pyramid_ that appeared from nowhere…

"Maybe not," our stoic Gem says.

"That's what you get when you tempt fate," I say,

Garnet proceeds to summon something by moving her hands, resulting in a miniature piece that was then fit into a slot. Sparkles and a rumble later, a door opens.

"Whoa..!" Steven goes in awe at the magic stuff happening. Once we get inside, it is giving me a sort of Egyptian vibe, but replace them with Gems and one will understand. "Whoa!"

I get his enthusiasm. After all, this art looks old and could be valuable… if it was for humanity.

"Steven's the best!" He yelled. An echo comes back, saying the same thing. "Why, thank you, temple." He swings his hand in mock bash.

"You're a doof," Amy says, passing us.

So far, it looks bare. Nothing seemed to be of interest. Except for a certain pedestal holding what seems to be yet another pyramid piece, nothing was obvious.

"LYNX, scan the area, please," I plead.

"Standing by." Her hologram flies around to see if there's something missing, needed, or needing to do. But 15 seconds of looking around, "Nothing, Moira."

Steven goes for the pedestal. "Hey, what's this thing? It's like a cool floaty triangle thing."

Tell me something I don't know.

"Whatever it is, you probably shouldn't touch it," Pearl replies, without facing him.

"After all, curiosity ki-" Wait, he's still a kid. So… "i… inda stumps the cat." There we go.

However, I think that I _am_ chopped liver because any advice I've given so far flies over people's heads. I feel something rumble and we immediately get close to Steven. Something is affecting the gravity and I feel like we're being pulled to the ceiling.

"Steven! What have we told you about touching magical things?"

"Definitely… always… never do it!"

"Yeet!" The gravity finally shifts over and we are going through the tunnel above into what looks like another room. I stayed as straight as possible and readied myself when I see the floor coming.

The other Gems land gracefully whereas Steven just flops. I, unlike them, never moved and only extended a hand up somewhat and stop myself with just my index finger.

From what I can see, there were multiple doorways leading away from this room, maybe about 16. I look down and see the room being sealed from the top.

"Looks like we're gonna have to split up," Amethyst goes. I do a backflip to get straightened up again.

"Seems like it," I say.

"Right," Pearl grabs onto, "Steven and I will stay right here where it seems to be safe, while you guys go and solve the mystery of this place."

"If you insist," I reply, deciding what weapon to take out.

"Wait, I want to help solve the mystery!" the kid exclaims. Wants to help no matter what.

"Yeah, c'mon, Steven," Amy grabbed him. "Let's solve the mystery."

"Yeah! Mystery solvers!"

Again. How heavy is Steven?

She began to walk away if not for Pearl grabbing him again.

"No, no, no-no-no. You two are a disaster waiting to happen."

"Kinda blunt, aren't you, girl?" I say, deciding just to use my main pistol. Pulling the slider, I prepare myself.

"Well-"

"Steven goes with me," Garnet decided.

"Really?" Stars appear in his eyes. "Awesome!"

"But remember, this is a serious mission."

"That our word of the day?" I sarcastically ask. I aim down and look each door to see if there are any incoming threats.

"Understood. Serious Steven!" He posed a bit before realizing. "Pearl, can you put me down?"

She confused herself and stutters somewhat. "Wha..? Oh, yes, of course." She puts him down.

"I need to be standing or else it doesn't work." Heh, sounds like _my_ powers that aren't the more basic ones. "Serious Steven, activate!"

The duo begin to walk to one doorway. I feel like I should go in the opposite direction, just in case.

"But this could be the teacups all over again," Pearl said, slightly worried.

"Teacups?" I ask, confused.

"Hey, I've put that behind me!" He then started singing, but it got stopped once a door closed. I had the want to make sure he was safe, but I'm pretty sure Garnet can protect him better than we. Onto more interesting matters, though…

"So, Pearl… teacups. What happened exactly?"

"Well, there's this certain teacup ride at Funland, (Soto voice) of which I completely missed the point of, (Normal) that we all rode and made Steven feeling sick. So, he jumped off one and he landed on the operator… who promptly banned him from all the rides…"

Yikes. And I thought my deep moves were bad.

"Oh. Ouch. Hmm, nothing a certain appeal can't fix. Maybe I can talk to the guy." Eeny, meeny, miny, mo. You, doorway. "But we can do that after this. See you on the other side?"

"Will you be okay by yourself?" Pearl asks.

"Worry not, Pearl; I deal with situations like this on a near daily basis. Plus it helps that LYNX is here with me."

"Oh. Okay then."

"Good luck!" I nod.

Okay, going solo. They went their separate ways and I took mine.

"Hey, LYNX, we've been in a previous situation before, right?"

"Something vaguely similar to this temple, yes. Why do you ask, Matthew?" They all look the same. No discernible markings and no direction whatsoever…

"I have a feeling that if I go whichever direction, it'll end up back here. Just to see if it's true, I'll go through a doorway once and see where I end up. Scan again please to see if there are any other life forms around us."

"Affirmative."

I take the easternmost entrance and wait. Before long, I reach a room that instantaneously closes, and _bars_ the door behind me.

"None other than your team, Matthew."

"No turning back, huh?"

I look forward, nothing from the ordinary other than the fact that it's a triangular prism shape. I try to spot anything, any details that tell something. The tiles in front of me don't light up, aren't in any familiar shape, or in different colors at all.

Nothing is _this_ easy.

Luckily, I always have a small piece of every element stored away that I can bring out if I need to. Grabbing a small stone from my pouch and changing its molecular composition to granite, I throw it forward, jumping on a few tiles and causing the room to rumble.

The tiles quickly fell down, leaving only a single narrow beam. However, that wasn't it.

Random holes around the walls immediately started spamming arrows left and right. And it seems that the floor under has spikes.

Motherfucker, it's one of _those_ types of traps?

Sigh. The arrows seem to be made of a type of metal and wood, which I was able to completely manipulate and stop them in midair. I also extend the narrow path to something a little more of a relaxed walk.

"And here I thought it'd be a little harder."

Reaching the other end, the trap stops shooting and the door to this side opens up, allowing me to finally let go of the binds I made. But just for being conservative, I store all the arrows. They were collected in a neat line inside my pouch.

"You do know there's an arrow piercing your arm, leg, and butt, right?" she asks, pointing to said objects.

"Huh. Is that right?"

My arm had it through a portion of where the forearm bones would have a space within, my leg had it splitting my kneecap away, and I think my… _asset_ , had it pushed to my hipbone.

I think I was bored to the point where I barely paid that much attention to either holding the arrows or acknowledging any pain.

Without even looking, I grab the sticks and pull it out without hesitation. I grunt a bit because it was somewhat painful, but it isn't a problem. I deal with this on a daily basis.

Not the arrows, more like actual pain itself.

"Didn't even notice. Let's see then."

Once through the doorway, it shut down as well, almost startling me. The bars don't make much sense to me, however. These stone doors were made impossible to break or open.

The next room didn't bother to hide. Various columns from the ceiling started smashing the entire floor area and some came from the walls, closing in on each other. Rows interchanged with these two positions and there were even two or three spots in which walls closed in completely. They worked fast, giving no reaction time for hesitation.

Eh, it's at least a challenge in some manner. Quickly maneuvering, I spin, flip, and jump through the columns and even bend completely backwards to avoid horizontal column clash.

But an incoming ceiling forced me to drop and hold it up, seeing that this low level is actually helping me miss the other ones. I strain a bit, not expecting the thing to hold down.

Whatever mechanism holding this had it go up again, thinking that it hit the ground. It went back up, allowing me to regain my composure.

A spin kick allowed me to get back up, which made me able to grip the other column and propel myself forward, narrowly missing the walled portion.

But…

I didn't let it miss my hand. *Crunch*

"Augh!" Rolling away, with incredulous luck that I didn't get crushed again in the process, I got to the other end, stepping on what I think is a pressure plate. The mechanics slowed down and eventually stopped, allowing me to see my spilled blood coming from my left arm.

Ouch.

Looking at my hand, I see how bad the damage is. All my finger bones are crushed and even the wrist and some tendons are ruptured. Hell, even my radius bien is poking out.

"I recommend you heal yourself, Matthew," LYNX states, examining the wound. I think just to spite me, or get a laugh, she had a headlamp and a clipboard of a skeletal system.

"Not yet. Maybe once I get past this." Grabbing a bandage, I haphazardly wrap it around my hand, making sure to leave my fingers free enough. I can't bend them, but I also hate any constriction. Up to the point where I don't even wear mittens; they're torturous restraints…

I'm getting out of hand, aren't I?

Those tomatoes are probably rotten by now…

The next room had the same closing doors happen… and was completely silent. The floor was an ice slab throughout, not giving any indication of a trap. But I know better.

Returning my pistol, I shoot a few rounds into the ground, zigzagging to see if it triggered something. 16 rounds showed that yes… it's a complete deathtrap.

A very jagged path of ice was left. It was floating over a pool of lava, supporting retracting stalagmites, never ending falling stalactites, somehow enduring a few lavafalls around _and_ on it, and spears from the ends came shooting about in no discernible pattern.

Geez, this room really stepped up its game, huh?

But I'm in no mood anymore. Stopping time, I calmly float over to the other side.

Probably should be done this from the start.

Then again, I think the conventionality of this reality isn't as fluent as every other world I've been to. If it was, my hand wouldn't be- *Shick*

"Mother-! (Anguished yell)" Son of a bitch!

A spear pierced my abdomen, the head reaching forward and coming completely out. It forced me to kneel once it pushed me away from the room.

Suck it up, you little pussy; you've went through worse before.

"Losing blood at 125 milliliters a second and fast."

"LYNX, chalk it up: I've lived through worse."

However, limping was **not** something I was gonna indulge. Once at the edge of another doorway, I take a second to kneel down. I got more dizzy than I thought.

"(Giggling) Fine, Matthew. And I will also give you the satisfaction in saying your theory was correct; you have returned to the main room."

I chuckle a bit, stopping myself short mostly because it kinda hurts…

"Moira!"

Pearl..? She came up from another room.

"There you- (Gasp!) Moira! Are you..!" I raise my hand to tell her I'm fine.

"Don't worry, Pearl," I assure. Standing up, I take a deep breath. Gripping the larger spear, I break the tail end to minimize any extra pulling, sending quite a vibration through my spine. It nearly struck my backbone if it went an inch to the left. To keep the adrenaline going, I also remove the head to keep the pain to a minimum.

Despite the fact that I can naturally heal myself further than regular boundaries, it's not something I use very often unless I'm in a very life threatening situation.

And trust me, this isn't _remotely_ _**close**_ to even my minor pains.

"This isn't something that I'm a stranger to." A small green light forms in my hands, going over all my injuries. Slowly, it healed to perfection, or at least how it was before. My arm, leg, and etc became normal again, the only sign that I was injured are the blood stains that are there. "Don't worry about me. I have a healing process, and I also have other things to help."

She seemed shocked still, but accepted my answer nonetheless.

"Also, how did you get here? Didn't we all take different paths?" I knew it was gonna happen but I still need to make it sound as if this was confusing. Despite knowing it, I… sorta don't have a solution that doesn't mean outright destroying the place entirely.

Plus, it would seem suspicious if I told her I knew something like this would happen.

Pearl finally got out of the stupor. "Oh! Right! I… I'm not sure. I assume we both went in a straight line, yes?"

"I think so. No room seemed to have any other doorway that weren't in other ends. But this doesn't seem to be any other room. We did a complete roundabout."

Hmm.

"Glad that's over," I hear.

"Amethyst?"

"Pearl! Moira!" She ran up to us. "Wait, what are doing here? Did you solve the puzzle?"

"As much progress as you have," I reply. "This is the same room we fell in."

Amy got panicked a slight bit. I saw this certain worried expression that immediately came. "What!? No! Darn it, I'm finding a way out!"

She ran into another passage, probably hoping to find an exit.

"If I didn't know any better," I state, "I'd say Amethyst is a bit claustrophobic…"

"We're back where we started."

The stern voice told me Garnet and Steven have come back. They came from yet another passage.

"Steven, why is your hair burnt?" I ask, looking over him. He covers it up with his arms after taking a quick look.

"I got into a little… accident," he bashfully says.

"Garnet, there you are!" Pearl ran up to her. "The doors and rooms here make no sense; they all bring you here!"

Amethyst, apparently somehow, got through a path again, looking a lot more panicked. "(Groan) Get me out of here!" Yet another passage she runs to. But I don't expect for her to get far again.

"There are sixteen doors, and we entered from the northeast and went through three consecutive rooms in a straight line…" So that technically means I came out the southwestern door.

By this point, Amethyst came out with a bear trap on her head. She, instead of opening it, pulls it off, which is more comical than I thought it would be.

But it was short lived. She ran into another door again, probably the complete panic getting to her.

"… But arrived back here out the southernmost door, which could only mean… well, I don't know what it means!" A flash of light and a block of frozen Amy came out. "This place is a death trap!" Pearl proceeded to summon her spear to break the frozen Gem.

"Wow, Amy, you got yourself in quite a bind, huh?" I walk over to the block and summon a small Fireball to try and melt the ice.

However, I didn't take into account that Steven isn't used to situations like this and I'm guessing the stress is getting to him.

"What do we do!?" That was a context clue.

"We go back in," Garnet states, "again, and again, and again, and again."

I stop for a minute to look at her with a slightly incredulous look. Even my Fireball came down a bit.

"Jesus Christ… can you be _any_ more stoic?"

Okay, maybe if I turn this into a Flamethrower-

"I can't!" His yell completely stopped our efforts. My power fizzled while Pearl stopped mid swing.

"Steven…"

"(Comforting) It's okay…" Well… at least Garnet can do so.

"No!" Never mind. "No, it's not! You were all right about me. I wanted to do this so bad, but now I feel like I'm gonna throw up. This is _just_ like the teacups!"

"Easy, kid," I say, "no one is blaming you for-"

"(Elongated) Wait..!"

"What?"

"Wait, you guys! What if this **is** just like the teacups? That's why we're getting so lost. That's why I'm feeling so sick. All the rooms are spinning us around so we end up here!" Ah- huh…

…kid has a point. I did feel some rumbling, but I wasn't really paying attention to any seismic action.

That's gonna be a common factor here, isn't it?

Garnet doesn't say a word as she walks into the center of the room, summoning a gauntlet as she does. A pounding on the floor *Crack* told me she's gonna break this place open. *Crack* The stone cracks by like 3 or 4 hits, *Crack* but she hammers it in completely which caused the entire floor to break. Eventually it reached the walls and we're being sent plummeting down.

"I'm falling to the other side of the earth!" I say, almost jokingly. I couldn't resist. But I didn't pay attention to my surroundings and land on my back in a revolving triangle. Garnet landed on another, grabbing Steven and preventing him from falling all the way down.

Pearl managed to pounce onto one and Amethyst broke free of her ice prison when it hit one. She landed on another. But I pay more attention to the view.

Various workings revolve around this one thing in the middle, going perfectly timed with everything else.

"This is unbelievable!" Pearl started giving yet another speech of her impression. Her gemstone is giving off a small hologram of the rooms above. "This Gem-powered mechanism! It's manipulating the rooms above. Every room we entered spun us until we came back to the central chamber! It's just like the teacups ride at Funland!" It showed the ride with the pitcher.

Why it's so high is beyond me…

"Steven literally just said that 30 seconds ago," I point out.

"(Embarrassed) Oh…" Her head started inflating from the spout. Using her hand, Pearl put it away, probably hoping no one saw that.

Steven formulated a plan after seeing something. Resourceful little bastard, isn't he?

"Garnet, I need to get off the ride now!"

The taller Gem nodded. She grabbed him and started to aim him.

"Serious Steven, go!" He spun like a cannonball before opening and landing on the middle pedestal, attempting to remove the Gem that I now see that's there. Rolling over to stand up, I prepare for anything that could happen.

The piece above the Gem rotated, hopefully in a good way. It allowed Steven to more easily pry the Gem away. He landed on the ground.

Pieces of what I think is energy started fading away from the place itself and going back to the Gem, make me wonder what's gonna happen exactly. *Boom*

Maybe the explosion can answer it.

Shrapnel of the pyramid flew everywhere, forcing a crater where it once was. I had to push away a huge slab that encased me and trapped me under.

But my priorities were first. I quickly looked for our youngest. "Steven!"

"Steven!?"

"He's over here." Ah, Amethyst, you found him.

He was holding the Gem he pried off, but is now also covered in strawberry again. I laugh at the little misfortune.

"At least you're safe," I say.

Pearl took the opportunity to bubble the Gem. "Hmm, I'd say you handled that adventure very well."

"Yeah, nice job, 'Serious Steven'," Amy adds.

"I prefer regular Steven," Garnet handed back the ukulele he came with.

"Hey, my ukulele!" The kid proceeded to tune his uke.

"Come on, kid," I encourage, "jam up a eulogy!"

He nods and smiles.

"Oh… that's the end of another day,

"It was mighty serious, I'd have to say,

"The Crystal Gems looked really cool

"when they made the temple explo-" The same swarm of butterflies immediately surround him again. I had to chuckle at how funny this actually was. "Aah! They're in my eyes again!"

He ran from them again. "Oh, Steven…" A small Tornado Blow blew them all away to other strawberries and stripped the stuff off him as well.

"(Chuckle) Thanks, Moira."

"No problem, kid. Now come on; I want to make some jelly with this stuff. Wanna help me out?"

"Yeah!"

We grabbed a few to make a good amount then hightail it home.

Looks like this'll be my new hobby.

* * *

 **Forgive me if the whole solo thing was bad; I'm not exactly good at writing off plot parts. Just look back at the previous chapters, you'll know what I mean, ha.**

 **So as a further compensation, I'll upload the next one soon, once I get all the error remade, and trust me, a lot have been made, lol.**

Hope you enjoyed. See you next time.

RaNd0Mk1D8o3I


	9. Chapter 9: Steven's Lion

**What is up, peoples and persons?**

 **Okay, I know I said soon so I have no real excuse other than a busy work schedule. For those of you who awaited, I thank your reading. Though, I can't tell if you are, and I'm too lazy to check the views. But... oh, well. Ha.**

 **So here's another skip. Hope you like this one too.**

 **All the legalities apart, I don't own Steven Universe or any of it's affiliates; all rights exclusive to Rebecca Sugar.**

 **Enjoy. :)**

* * *

After the whole event which was basically an excavation, we headed back home, pondering on what to do next. But I didn't stay there for too long. Pearl told me the whole story about what happened with the teacups. Making a decision, I check to see if I have everything I need.

Going to the Funland amusement park, I can see just how bad the extensive damage was.

I also asked Steven a while back who runs it and if I could talk to him.

It… isn't going that well.

"Look, Mr. Smiley," I continue, "I know my little brother caused quite a bit in damages, all being property, extended, and collateral. But please reconsider my offer: allow Steven back in and I'll help in fixing it and get the teacup ride back together."

"I'm sorry, little lady," he says. Little, bitch? You and I are… almost the same height. "But that accident is one of too many. Bringing him back here will only cause more destruction."

Ugh… some people. I know his deal. I start scrolling through some bills.

"That's cool then. How's $10k sound?" I instantly throw down that much in money. *Slam* The sound of it very heavy.

Don't worry, I only stole it from crime lords, underground societies, and even snuck it from the oligarchic politicians.

In other words, if I wasn't able to via elements, I could literally just buy land and have a house built from the ground up.

He seemed very surprised, though not as much as I thought.

"I don't know, Moira…"

"Okay, fine. $ _20k_ and the ride is completely fixed, no questions asked." He wanted to take it. Both stacks were very enticing.

I can barter even for terms of my death. This isn't anything new to me.

"I'm listening..."

"Better yet, final offer: $ **25k** , all rides are fixed and maintained, Steven will get an all access pass for life, and you can get profits from a kiosk that I will build myself involving other food and beverage."

Seems like a desperate move, but I have enough for that.

You have any idea how much crime lords and locking up other criminals tend to make?

"You know what? You got yourself a deal." We shook hands on it. Now that he gave me confirmation, I start assembling the ride. Pretty simple thing; I even added restraints so the same thing won't happen again.

Who's idea was it to put that thing so high anyway?

"Perfect. You should have people spinning on that thing in about 5 minutes and the rest should be done in 10."

"Ha! Be a miracle if you set all of it in 10 wee…" He was shocked at the near pristine condition the ride is. I start with a smug but satisfied smile on my face. I hand him the keys.

"Pleasure doing business." I flip my hair in his direction and start to walk back to the temple, happy that I was able to get this appealed for my "little brother".

Though, I'm kinda hoping that it doesn't give negative repercussions. The fact that Greg acting as my "father" is not… as comfortable as one might think. Plus, with the implications the idea has, it kinda gives him a slight bit of a douchebag past…

Also, despite the fact that I told him about and also him accepting it as a good enough fib, I still feel that there's a bit of a spanner in the work.

I'm probably thinking too hard. Now.

"LYNX, please locate the Crystal Gems. I know they said they would be somewhere in the desert, but I forget if they got there yet."

"Scanning now." She appears with a clipboard in hand. "Oh, by the way, you may have made a dent in your wallet by making the deal." Hmm.

"That's nothing new. Besides, it's for Steven. You know he means well; little boy like that needs an outlet somehow. I've seen the type of things he has at 15 and that's with me having a regular family. Now imagine a 12 year old with no mother who everyone probably has resentment from that because they knew her. You have any idea how much stress this whole concept of life can give him?"

"I know, but it's still… well, strange." This prompts me to look a her. "For the first time in over 16 something thousand years, you finally care for someone again?"

I take a moment to stop. Images flashed through my eyes, some more harrowing than others. I shook my head to clear those thoughts. "This is different, okay?" I struggle to not let any tears escape. Before Steven, I… "Every other friend I had, you know how they left. Especially… (Crack) her…" She floated next to me, almost as if she wanted to wipe off any other saline that would've fallen.*

"Oh, Matthew… I'm sorry…"

"(Whisper) It's not your fault. You know that." I sigh and regain my composure, removing said marks. "We can't deny the fact. But I'm certain that as soon as we find what we need, everything will be okay. All it'll take now is time. Now come on; we have Gems to help."

She nodded and calculated their location. Apparently, they took a warp to a dessert a bit ways westward. Running back to the house, I debate on whether or not to use the pad. I kinda don't really know how it works.

Once inside, I take a stand on it and try to think.

No discernible markings other than a crisscross pattern on the side.

"Okay… so… it isn't voice activated and my type of energy is useless with it. So do I just think of going or is it a more of a-" *Warp*

Oh. It is willpower.

The faint feel of flying is back, signifying the lack of pressure.

Wait. The stream is empty right?

"(Giggle) Whoo!" Don't judge me! I rarely get to experience any zero gravity type of fields and flying is so overrated nowadays.

The fact that I can legit fly around stupidly and no one here to see me is actually a bit refreshing.

Hey, I may be 17… physically speaking… and I may have lived for about 250,000 years… in a weird spiritual manner, but I'm still a kid at heart, damn it. I had to worry about many consequences by 16 and it wasn't fun half the time.

"Swan position! Into double gainer! Into reverse triple gainer! Jackson's pipe! This is the greatest set of tricks ever done in a stream! Assume stance! And- oof!" I landed flat onto the next warp pad. I didn't even notice the stream going away or the incoming floor. "(Cough) (Strained) Nailed it."**

"Three minutes due east, Ma- you okay?" She folded a scope.

"Fine." I get up from the pad, with somewhat hoping that I didn't dislocate a rib. Nah, I'm good. "I'll half the time." Jumping to the location, it takes a little less than a minute for me to get there. The growing columns tell me that I might be getting near.

One of them instantly collapsed, leaving behind a small hill of sand. I land on it to see if I was close.

"(Weak) W-Water. Water. So thirsty. For water…" I see Steven crawling up the hill.

"It'll be safer if you stand up and walk," Pearl said.

"(Feigning weak) You don't… understand. This. Is how. You're supposed to act… in the desert."

"Easy there, Steven," I say, giving a hand to help him up. "You're not drying up on us when I'm here." I also give Steven a water bottle. He slowly takes it, continuing his little act.

"Moira, there you are," she greets. "Did you have a problem getting here?"

"None at all, Pearl," I reply. "So what are we here for?"

"There is a Gem in the middle there that's creating various architectures at random," Garnet situated. "The power in the structures have turned aimless."

"It's building columns with no roofs, stairs that go nowhere," Pearl listed, annoyed at it a bit.

"Then I think we should mosey on over," I add, making a few small tornadoes in my hands. "All other physics aside, this should be simple." They get bigger before combining into one. I haven't had much practice that wasn't spinning, so this is actually kinda tricky.

See, elements require a certain manner of posing and movement. I… am not adept with all of them. Energy is a quick footed somewhat jerky style, something that I am fluent with. Most others… not so much. Some require hard force, some require a slow motion, and others require even more focus.

"Are you okay, Moira?" Steven asks… and I'm pretty sure it's because my winds are forcing us to float.

"I'm fine, just need to concentrate and- whoa!" I mistimed it!

An accidental slip up of opening my arms too quickly and my tornado not only makes a small breeze to knock down the pieces in front of me, but it also… blew me to a sudden wall that was created.

Yep. Out cold.

(3rd) "Moira!" They all collected to see their blown ally, who is now unfortunately knocked out. Her head impacted on the wall before slowly unsticking from the impact and landing flat on the sand.

If one were to imagine this in a comical manner, pretend she face faulted with a dazed smile, eye swirls, and stars revolving around her head.

But no, it ain't like that. Instead, for this world's realism, she still had the open smile… if it was face down to the sand.

"She's unconscious!" Pearl exclaims, understandably worried. "Quickly, we have to-"

Garnet placed a hand on Pearl's shoulder. "There's no time. We'll worry about it once we take care of the Gem."

"Moira?" Steven kneeled down and attempted to wake her, grabbing her head up to see if she responded.

"Fish don't run for mayor…" Was all that was said before another faceplant happened. The others flinch at the notion.

"Sheesh, and I thought the way I get knocked out was bad…" Amethyst cringed.

"Steven, you stay here and look after Moira; we will go and grab the Gem," Garnet ordered.

"We'll be quick," Pearl reinforced. She and Amethyst run to the area.

"But what if something tries to eat us?" Steven pleaded.

"Do not worry, Wet One," she wipes off his sweat and flicks it back, Steven smiling at the notion, for whatever reason. "There's nothing out here that can harm you. See you soon."

"Okay." Garnet joins the other two. "(Sigh) Come on, Moira." Steven grabbed her arm and started dragging her to the nearest pillar after he flipped her over.

He made it to one before moving Moira into the shade, lying his head down on her… uh, after. Let's just say it wasn't below the waist. The heat was getting very intense. It even compelled Steven to remove his shirt.

"It's. So. Desert." He got halfway before gearing something strange, almost like a growl. "What was that?"

He scanned over his surroundings, making sure that he and his "big sister" was safe. Steven even went as far as going around the column to see if anything was nearby.

"Nothing can harm me. I… am the Wet One."

The bravado failed. A shadow figure soon reached his peripheral vision, forcing him to retreat. A glance at the unconscious hybrid alone made him feel safer.

"At least this column was here."

Has anyone ever heard of tempting fate?

The pillar disappears, burying half of Moira in sand. A pink lion was shown as soon as it fell, looking very menacing.

Steven started panicking, falling backwards when he attempted to walk in that direction. However, a wall appears from nowhere, blocking his escape. The kid prepares to be attacked… and it doesn't happen. Instead, the animal just yawned and flopped, almost sleeping instantaneously.

Steven lowered his guard, seeing as he's not in danger now. "Huh." He tried to walk closer, seeing if anything will happen. Once he got a little too close for comfort, the lion's ear twitches, causing Steven to flinch.

He yelled in fear, jumping back. But as it's said, curiosity killed the cat. He got close again, this time, the lion looking back. A hand was slowly pressed onto it's nose, quickly being pulled back.

"Don't bite!" Steven tried again, this time to a more successful attempt. The lion soon relented and let him pet his mane. "Aw..! You just wanted attention, didn't you? Didn't you?"

Steven explored more of his lion friend.

"Your mane… it's so soft…"

Some sand shifts and the pink creature rolls over, allowing Moira to sit up.

"Ugh, knocked over again…"

(Moira) Who was on me? Hmm?

A lion.

"(Groan) Will there ever be one time in which I don't wake up in the lion's den? I'm not Daniel…"

Steven was next to it, almost as if it was his pet.

"Moira, are you okay?"

"Peachy." I look at the pink thing, wondering what it's doing out here. Five seconds and I don't get anything, not even a scuffle or a yawn. "You're not much of a talker, are you?"

"Oh, he's fine," Steven reassured. "So, you from around here? I'm just here on business. I really like your pink fur. You're like the cotton candy of the jungle."

Now he's doing the same that I was. And the lion is starting to bathe itself.

"I always wanted an animal friend. But I thought it would be like a goldfish. Or a dinosaur!"

"Heh, they're extinct, Steven," I say, not wanting to sound too rude. He was eventually sitting down next to the creature, who is now laid sideways. "It'd be easier to get a lizard."

"I know. But I guess fate had other plans for Steven Universe…" A paw was covering Steven now. "(Whisper) and his best friend, Lion."

Hmm. A dog named dog, huh?

*Boom!*

A sandstorm blew over us, completely topping us with sediments. Damn it, I hate it when it gets in my hair…

I guess now I know how some girls feel.

We come out, shaking the sand off ourselves, all the while I hear, "Amethyst, bubble it away."

"No. Quit being jealous. My kill, my keep."

And here I thought we were a place where we never say 'die'.

"I'm not jealous. Just be careful. If you drop it on the sand it'll rebuild everything!" They're getting closer.

"Moira, play along!" Steven commanded.

"What?" He started grabbing the lion.

"Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl are coming! Quick, put my head in your mouth!" Excuse me?

"Exsqueeze me?"

He tried prying Lion's mouth open and… kinda failed. I facepalm at the notion, mostly to hide my laughter. This kid is hilarious.

"Steven! What is that? What are you doing!?"

Weapons have been summoned and they're threatening to end this guy… but Lion doesn't even flinch. Good on ya.

"Uh, stop! It's okay! Look, he's totally tame."

"That's impossible." Pearl still had the itch to end him.

"Considering he hasn't so much as blink in the entirety that I've been analyzing him," LYNX states, Lion's eyes following her hologram, "I'd say that's tame enough." She disappears soon after, a list of specs rolling down.

"Yeah! I even taught him to say 'I love you'. See?" He uses his hand to move Lion. "'I love you.'"

"Aw! That's so sweet!" Amethyst gushes in a manner that I knew wasn't natural. "I-I love you too." Jesus, she almost tears up. Or is she just tricking me with the wide eyes?

Either way, it forces Pearl to sigh. "Get your hands out of that thing's mouth. We have to get the Desert Glass out of the desert." She almost pushed Amy even.

"I got it," she said, with a smug smile and a nearly annoyed tone.

"Let's go, you two," Garnet commands.

"Right behind you," I reply, waiting for Steven.

"Okay, give me a sec," he adds. "Hey, Lion, I gotta go. I had a lot of fun, I feel like you really get me."

Lion stares at him with no expression. Sheesh, and I thought Garnet was stoic.

"Shh, this is already too hard for the both of us." Steven walks away, catching up to the others. I state back at Lion, hoping to get a response.

"Gonna go on a limb and say that this isn't over, is it?" I ask.

His two blinks tell me. I nod.

This isn't over.

* * *

Know what to do with it, huh?

Right now, Steven and Amethyst are sleeping in a pillow fort they made… with the Desert Glass as an ornament. I was busy at the kitchen table making a few robots with LYNX's help. Apparently, I need to organize my pouch and she'd be happy to do so with a few basic robots.

Being an vastly intelligent A.I, she can possess certain machines if she were to hack into them manually first or if I make them myself. The ones I'm making are cube shaped, with extendable limbs, minor rocket flight, and multiple other functions. They're mostly just to organize stuff and keep lists for LYNX. She's also gonna attempt to make a sort of timed teleporter that I'll connect to an outer pocket.

I got lost in there once and it took me weeks to come out.

And me being stupid, I left my Receptor off my ear.

In any case, they're ready to be controlled. One of LYNX's favorite things, apart from teasing or making me laugh, is analyzing foreign data or machines… and hacking them. There's 4 here so she can even maybe do sports within them, or something.

"Okay, LYNX, they're ready," I say, putting in one last screw. "You should now be able to control them."

She was floating next to them, tapping her feet very excitedly. "Huzzah! Onto the hacking!" She jumped into one of them and it activated, testing out every little thing that it held. I couldn't stop hearing her giggling however.

"Don't get too crazy now," I say, now seeing that she'd activating the other ones by jumping through each.

You'll probably never see them again. They're mostly for organizing my pouch of items.

Weapons, tools, miscellaneous, trophies, you name it. I'm also currently working on a little weapon I had the idea for years now. One of them hands me a tube that looked like an incomplete end pipe.

Think of a handle of a lightsaber, but out comes a small 4 sided blade of 8 inches that has a 4 foot long element or aura. In other words, it can be a fire, an ice, or even a water stick.

I hear a light scratching coming from somewhere. Pretty sure it's the door.

What's that sound?" Steven asks, waking up.

"(Slurring) All I hear is your mouth," Amethyst replies, putting a hand over his.

"I thought Gems don't need sleep."

They don't?

"We don't." Oh. "Feels good though."

That… I cannot argue.

The scratching come again, almost starting to annoy me as well.

"(Grumble) Razzle, razzlerrr. Probably some kid trying to sell me lava insurance."

"Considering the activity going around here, it's actually not a bad investment," I add, screwing in a few microscopic components.

"Yeah, but I don't think we need it." Steven opens the door. "Hold your britches!" Hmm? Whoa.

How did Lion get here?

"Lion! Lion, oh my gosh! This is such a surprise! You came all this way to see little old me?" Lion attempted to get through the door before Steven stopped him and close the door after going outside. "Whoa, you're fresh. You can't go in there, Amethyst is pretend sleeping and Moira is working on her robot dealies. But whatevs; we're together again. Now we can do everything best friends do."

And what would that be exactly?

Also, why did he say Lion was fresh?

Call me crazy, but I have the need to protect this kid way more than I normally should. Just in case, I'm gonna watch him, make sure he doesn't get himself in any more trouble than he causes. I put my stuff away in my pouch and hope that I can finish that eventually.

He left to the little cliffside that his stairs are built upon, apparently trying to play a game or something with Lion.

Oh. He's trying to play fetch… with him being the thing needed to catch. Steven was trying to see if Lion will react to him falling down what I think is only 20 feet of rock.

*Crunch*

Mmm. Good.

Mmm?

Wait, when did I get these chips?

Is this show trying to get me fat?

Or is my subconscious just really hungry?

Then again, before the pizza the day I met Steven, I didn't eat for about 27 years. And that was only because I used my money trying to help people instead.

Pretty sure my fake name has reached through the eastern seaboard.

And now Steven is trying to teach Lion to fetch with an actual ball.

"Okay, gonna throw this ball. Here it comes!"

Good throw, too. But Steven, you're trying too hard.

"Whaaat?! That throw was so good!" I just said that… "Lion, all you gotta do is catch it in your mouth, see?"

Well, Steven may not be a great trainer, but he's good at catching that with his own mouth. Even I have trouble catching popcorn.

*Crunch* But on that topic, needs more butter. Hmm!?

Without realizing it, I seemed to have grabbed a bucket of it, complete with butter and a tiny bit of salt.

…bruh.

Confirmed. This show is trying to get me fat. Shrugging, I take another handful of kernels, this world somehow knowing my indulgences.

Hmm? He's taking Lion somewhere. And because he's going through the southern side of the cliff, I'm guessing it's either fries or pizza.

To not waste too much time, I decide to jump to the boardwalk. No one was around, which begs the question.

Who and where the hell is everyone else? There can't just be… uh, what is it, like a dozen people here? It's called a city for a reason, right? Otherwise it'd just be a town, or a village.

Maybe. Then again, I probably spent way too much time in the city that I forgot that suburbs had their own rights.

"Fish Stew Pizza. Cats love fish, everybody loves pizza, so you're gonna love this!" I hear Steven say. He took a moment to appear inside. "Whoa, this place is jumping! Wait here, we're gonna blow some minds."

He goes inside, not even noticing me. Then again, I make stealth such a priority that I forget people are that ignorant sometimes. I was left alone with Lion, his blank stare not even fazing me.

Then again. I have one myself.

"You're here for something and I can tell it isn't Steven," I say, wondering if he'll respond. "So… you were visited by Rose, huh?"

A blink tells me yes.

These things are easy to find.

"I can't imagine what happened, but it did. Now, if-"

"Steven's pregnant!?" I hear Ronaldo scream from inside.

Looking in, it was him and Onion inside, making the whole place seem bare since it was just themselves…

"I don't think so, but I have a giant pet lion right outside!"

Just hearing that, Lion starts to look somewhere and decides to gun it in the opposite direction, back to the house. Wonder what for. But honestly, I'm hungry. I'm going inside.

"You'd know if you read my blog Keep Beach City Weird! I also have buttons!" The same familiar bell that rings caught everyone's attention. "Moira! Good to see you!" Why you screaming, Ron?

"Oh, hey," I reply. "Steven, what did you order? I'm feeling kinda peckish myself."

"He asked for an extra large pizza with anchovies before saying that he had a lion outside," Kiki replies.

"You mean Steven's pet, Lion? Yeah, he left. But I caught a picture if you would like to see it."

Normally, I wouldn't use anything such as a touchscreen phone since I happen to have my own little form of communication, but since these humans here don't have anything higher than that, I had LYNX fabricate one to for to use so I could blend in.

"Aw, what!?" Steven ran out. "Lion!"

They seemed satisfied with the picture. I swapped number with Ronaldo and Kiki to send it to them.

"This is so going in the blog!"

"Here you go, Moira," Kiki gives out a pizza, all ready to consume. "Wish we could've seen it though."

"I'll see if you'll get the chance," I say, letting their hopes to in whatever way they want it to. I had no idea what the price was, considering that the one I had was expensive, so I just dropped a twenty. "And keep the change. See you again."

"Later, girl!"

I walk out the shop, thinking that it's be a good idea to head back, especially since I hear a roar that definitely sounds like a predator hunting its prey.

Gun it.

Putting the pizza away in my pouch, I quickly make it back to the temple, hoping that nothing bad happened.

Well, a broken screen door can be easily fixed, but why is Amethyst on the couch as if she had just been blasted by….

Oh.

"What was that for?" We all look at what Lion was looking at. "The pillow?"

He ran upstairs, trying to grab it before Lion presumably does.

"Is this what you wanted? This pillow? I've been trying to play with you, and feed you, 'cause I thought we were best friends. Did all of that mean nothing to you?"

He was struggling not to tear up.

Damn.

Someone remind me not to piss him off because I will feel terrible if I do, especially to someone as great as Steven.

And to get a holster. Or a wider sash.

Lion jumped up, trying to grab at it.

"Maybe I should teach you how to talk to animals, Steven," I say. "It'll probably be-"

"Fine, I don't care!" He ran outside, the pillow dangerously about to leave his hand.

"Steven, wait!" I run after, hoping that he won't do anything stupid. "Just calm down."

"If he wants it, he can have it!" Yikes.

He threw the Desert Glass into the sand, the trembling immediately starting to happen. He runs down to see if he can stop it, but I think the mistake was throwing it down to begin with.

And really far too.

What does Greg feed this kid?

Pillars quickly start forming, making it's castle faster than what I can think or plan.

Garnet and Pearl quickly come out as well, almost in a panic.

"Steven! The Desert Glass; it's rebuilding its castle!" Oh. I thought it was making things for fun.

I sorta mean that. I didn't think it was that dangerous.

Amethyst soon comes out, looking as if she just woke up. Sheesh, being roared at wasn't strong enough?

"Why didn't you bubble it earlier!?"

"Welcome to shrug city, P," was her response.

"Seriously, Amy?" I say, loading some Wind rounds into the UMP 45 sub mode.

"Don't move! We're coming!"

"Okay!"

A sandstorm immediately blocks out our view from him, making us worry.

"Whatever we're doing, we better make it quick!" I state, jumping off the porch. They soon follow suit, but a sand wall stops our advancement. "Goddamn it…"

Garnet summons her gauntlets and tries punching through it, though with no success.

"This wall's not moving!"

"Tell us something we don't know!" I begin to shoot a line down the wall, the projectiles piercing through the wall but quickly reforming it after they do. "Grr..! Earthquake Frenzy!"

A kick to the wall brings it down and makes a small attempt into rebuilding it. It allowed us a small window to get inside, the sand seriously starting to sting.

"We gotta get through before things get any-"

Amethyst is thrown up in the air by a newly formed pillar, spiraling in the direction of the wind.

"Amethyst, hold on!" I jump up as well and grab her, bringing down again. "So now what do we do!?"

No one got to answer because we were all immediately shrouded in sand, burying us at least 6 feet under.

Standing up, we shake the sand off ourselves, realizing that Steven landed in front of us, holding the Desert Glass. He gave a small chuckle.

We get out, though I was more careful about getting the sand off my dress. Seriously, sand up your skirt is even worse than your pants. You know it can easily fall but it just doesn't somehow.

Plus, it isn't well etiquette.

Pearl took the Glass from Steven and proceeded to bubble it.

"We should've done this in the first place."

"You think?" I counter ask.

"In my defense, I forgot," Amy adds. Scowling, I give her a small dope slap to the back of her head, shaking my head in disbelief. "Ow…"

"Don't complain; I didn't hit you that hard," I console… somewhat rudely.

But it didn't prevent me from seeing what Steven was saying to Lion.

"So, I guess, this is goodbye. We had some good times, but I'm sure you have other magical stuff to smash with other magical boys."

"Steven, you're a hoot," I laugh.

Pretty sure no one, besides us, are human hybrids.

But he wouldn't take no for an answer. Moving Lion's mouth, he says, in a rather funny voice, "I love you, Steven. I want to stay with you forever!"

His eyes could tell me that too. I nod in approval, though I don't think that he means the first part that much.

"(Gasp) Really? Guys, you hear that!?"

I hear ya, Steven.

Pearl obviously showed much concern.

"Are we really going to let him keep that?"

"We kept Amethyst," was Garnet's reply.

"(Laughing) Oh. Oh, ho ho, 'kept Amethyst'; oh, Garnet, that's priceless!" She kept laughing.

"Ouch, girl," I say, feeling Amethyst and her distraught. It looked like a minor burn, but I felt something underneath all that.

"Yay, Lion!" Is it illegal to force someone to wink here? I heard it was somewhere.

I feel the tense air around us and try to ease it. "Anyone want pizza?" I ask, taking the box out.

"Whoo!"

Oh, Steven.

* * *

 **So I decided to skip Tiger** **Millionaire** **due to the plain fact that it was more of an** **auxiliary** **episode that Moira doesn't really have much of a need to be in. Plus, as much as people probably would've liked to imagine a sarashi wrapped alien, it was a _tag team_ tournament. Realistically speaking, no one would last a round, human _or_ Gem. And either way, I wasn't too fond of the episode. Not that I didn't like it; it was actually good. But it isn't my more preferred ones.**

 *** LYNX would be one of those actively solid A.I's who can become** **impervious** **at will. Mostly to Moira and to bite at anyone who mocks her or if the former tries to touch the screens. Lol, creativity, right? Ha**

 **** To anyone who gets that reference, 10 points to Griffindor.**

 **If I'm late to the next chapter, sorry, but it's a work in progress. However, I also decided to skip Arcade Mania. A small mention will be done, but there's too many starfish to keep track of. Rofl. If I actually wrote it, you'l just be seeing "*Boom* Shot here. *Boom* Shot there. *Click* She out." wow, that looks so bad... :P**

 **Hope you enjoyed. See you next time.**

 **RaNd0Mk1D8o3I**


	10. Chapter 10: Giant Woman

**What is up, peoples and persons?**

 **I am so sorry for the veeeeery long update, but a LOT of stuff has happened regarding my lifestyle and it made it impossible for me to even get _near_ my computer. So, here's a new small bit of reading, lol.**

 **I skipped Arcade Mania since it was too simple an episode to make and not much to change since it wasn't really too focused on a long plot.**

 **All the legalities apart, I don't own Steven Universe or any of it's affiliates; all rights exclusive to Rebecca Sugar.**

 **Enjoy. :)**

* * *

Okay, spending all day removing the sand from the wraps wasn't exactly my idea to end the day, but at least I'm fresh.

And the next day seriously bit into my ammunition.

See, they went off on a mission to get another creature and it left us with parasites that drilled and multiplied on a constant.

It didn't seem like much to worry about since they were okay with playing at the Arcade. Though someone please tell me why and how the **fuck** Onion actually _won_ a moped…

But since Garnet was a secret gamer beneath, she was stuck playing Meat Beat Mania for hours and nearly a whole day entirely.

Steven and I had tried everything to remove her trance, to the point where we saw that she had a third eye after removing her sunglasses.

In other words, she could see the future… or at least predict it, maybe. No one really told me that, but I know a thing or two and third eyes usually say something.

That was why Pearl and Amethyst were clueless on what to do. They rely very heavily on her leadership ability. And that's bad.

Like, **really** bad.

Luckily, no one saw the broken machine since I was able to fix it before Smiley noticed. The last thing I need is another case. Or possible lawsuit… or another ass bite.

The gunshots were many and the shells were loud too. But no one can prove anything; I never leave a casing. Having magnetism is very useful outside combat.

And that brings us to today.

Garnet was off somewhere, probably looking for something. Meanwhile, I was with the other three, playing checkers with Amethyst and Pearl.

Steven sat atop a lifeguard tower, keeping track of turns by pelting the two with water balloons. Amy was concentrating, and by the looks of it, somewhat hard, to see what move she'll do next.

"Ha! Take that!" she exclaims.

"Wow, Amethyst, I'm impressed." Pearl was quickly shut by a water balloon exploding in her face. Steven makes me laugh so much, I'm pretty sure it should be said "Steven is the best medicine" in place of laughter.

"Now it's your move, Pearl," he states.

"Steven, the water balloons are appreciated but not completely necessary, you know," I add my two cents in.

"I know, but this way, the moves really matter."

"But it's checkers! _Every_ single move matters," Pearl somewhat complained.

"True… in most cases…" I mutter the last part to myself. For pragmatists out there, the rules don't apply.

"It sounds like _someone's_ being a sore loser," Amethyst gloats, twirling her wet hair.

If this was a cartoon, Pearl would probably have steam coming from her ears, considering her wanting to growl. But she regained her composure.

" **I'm** not a sore loser," she taunts, using one piece to win the frickin game, putting us all in shock, "because I just won the game."

Huh. I didn't even realize that Amy set her pieces to fail indefinitely. Then again, not like she paid _too_ much attention to her remainders.

If one wants to win, or at least stalemate, one must know their opponent straight and perfect, not allowing them to take advantage of your weaknesses.

"Wha..!?" It's raining balloons. "Here it comes…"

She laughs at getting splashed, relaxing and sighing afterwards. "Feels good to lose."

"*Ahem* I certainly hope that's not the attitude you have during battle." Pearl, there's no need to scold all the time.

Just now and then.

"Ugh, you're no fun anymore." To be honest… when was she fun in the first place? "This is why we never form Opal." Hmm?

Opal?

Then…

"We don't form Opal because you're _difficult_ and a **mess**."

Sheesh, girl, you salty. And you don't even have the composition for it.

"We don't form Opal because you're uptight and a-"

"Easy now," I say, almost letting Amy let this be PG-13.

Then again, this _is_ rated M…

I only say that because Steven is here. Last thing I want is for him to learn the true meaning that is the vulgarity and vulnerability of humanity.

"Guys, guys!" Steven pushed them apart. Phew. "What is Opal?"

"Oh it's the two of us, mashed together," Amy explains, mashing her hands… together.

Pearl scoffed. "Is water just hydrogen and oxygen 'mashed' together?"

I take a second to think. LYNX appears by coming from behind me, a few stoppered test tubes shaking somewhat violently.

"When it is frozen, a technical yes," she replies, "and when used individually as a fuel, also yes." Pearl facepalms.

"Incorrect analogy, LYNX," Pearl scolded…

"Then please explain, 'professor'." She throws away said tubes behind her and a massive holographic explosion happens, along with a mushroom cloud. It hurt… mostly because the sound was much closer to me. "How does an iron impure silicon dioxide and a calcium carbonate form into another coefficiently measured water infused silicon dioxide?"

"Well, it's simple." Pearl kneels down to demonstrate using sand manipulations..? There were two shapes, representing the both of them. "When we synchronize our forms we can combine into a powerful fusion gem named Opal." Both bowed and danced in a certain ballet, and when they touched, they turned into one-

Wait, wait…

Sand. Manipulations.

 **Sand**?

…bruh…

Where the fuck was _**that** _when we had the Desert Glass!? Ugh…

This world…

Then again, it's probably just used as a minor thing.

Amethyst took me out of my stupor when she stomps on said sand. "Except I don't dance like that."

"Amethyst." Pearl was nearly shocked.

"Weird way of fusion, but it's not too different from mine," I mutter, looking at another direction.

"I concur." LYNX, you don't fuse. You break them, ha. Get it?

"Wow, that's so cool! But tell me more about Opal!"

Steven will never run out of enthusiasm, will he? Then again, it's only been about 7 or 8 episodes…

"Well, Steven, she's an ultra powerful, stone cold Betty- that part's me. And she's like, kinda tall… (Whisper) That part's Pearl."

Betty? _You_?

"Sorry, but Pearl is in **no** way a Veronica…" I take a minute to look at them. "Metaphorically speaking."

"Veronica?" They all ask.

"Betty and Veronica, it's a term that statistically individualizes two girls in different idealistic personalities, where Betty would be the 'sweet girl next door' and Veronica as the 'sassy hot girl down the lane'." They become very confused. "One is kooky and sweet, one's the opposite; what's not to get?" Ugh…

"Okay… what Amethyst is attempting to say is, Opal is an amalgam of our combined magical and physical attributes fused into a single entity."

In other words, my type of bullshit.

"Wow! Can you do it right now? Come on, form Opal!" Steven, I think you may be a bit overexcited.

Amethyst scoffs, telling me that it's bad.

"We only form Opal when it's absolutely necessary," Pearl laments.

In other words, probably never because you'll burn through every other possible options if it sounds that bad.

A familiar warp pad light and sound confirms us that Garnet is home.

"Garnet's back!"

They promptly leave, leaving the chessboard behind. I wanted to grab it, but I shrug instead, thinking that it probably won't be missed.

I make it back to them, hoping I didn't miss anything. But Steven decided to take the initiative and get there quicker.

"Remind me again why Garnet had to leave?"

"She was on a mission to locate a few artifacts," Pearl informed. "If anything, she'll brief us on what we need to do."

A mission every other day? Meh, at least it's something to do.

"Whoa, a rock! Thanks, Garnet!"

"Souvenir, huh?" I ask Steven… before he bites into it. Hmm.

"So, was your mission a success?"

"I have located the Geode beetles of Heaven and Earth," she replied. "We should split up to retrieve them."

If only it were _that_ easy to find what I need…

"Well, I'm going with _not_ Pearl," Amy snarks.

"Well, that's perfect because I don't want to go with grammatically incorrect people anyway," Pearl snarks back.

"Is her talking about me?" Steven asks, finally stopping from biting the rock.

Uh… Would that be considered cannibalism? He can't bite into it, but… I'mma try not to think about it.

"No, Steven," I inform. "You are actually saying it correctly in certain parts of English, globally speaking."

"You will all go together," Garnet commanded.

"What? Why?" Sans Steven.

"The Earth Beetle's at the bottom of the boiling lava lake, and only I can swim in lava." She begins to summon a pair of snorkeling goggles. It wrapped around her head, giving her cube afro an hourglass shape. Kinda.

"I beg to differ, but I… haven't worked the kinks out of the ability," I add, "so… yeah, never mind."

"Like I said. You'll find the Heaven Beetle at the top of the Sky Spire. It's safer."

"You mean boring-er." Facepalm thanks to Amy… again.

"You mean _more_ boring." And my fingers crush my face because of Pearl.

Again.

"So you agree with me."

"Ugh…"

I roll my eyes and take out my Scatterpoint, removing the shells it has. I was expecting to deal with more earth related enemies so it still had Wind ones loaded.

I do like versatility and that's the main aspect of my guns, but I decided to have a separate mod because I had a whole 32 gauge and .500 interchange thing, but it was painful; 16 and .316 are much more manageable and easier.

I also would've gone with a Kel-Tec KSG-12 rip, but then decided that I didn't need the extra tube. Plus, compared to regular ones, it felt kinda bulky despite being a bullpup.

"Well, if we're going to a mountainous terrain, I might as well. LYNX, please be on the lookout for any climate changes once we get there."

"Standing by."

"Are you ready, Moira?"

One last shell, a pump of the action, and pressing the safety on and the semiauto function, "Ready." I hook the thing to a grip hook I pulled slightly up from my sash.

Putting guns into the sash alone was hardcore looking… well, kinda, but it seemed sloppy. So with the help of her new robots, LYNX made those automatic grip things, like that one thing a toothbrush commercial had one time. Think Robocop but without it being holstered away into my leg and instead onto the sash and into my pouch.

I hop on the pad, thinking it'll be a lighter thing than yesterday.

"Steven, Moira, be sure to keep the harmony," Garnet said one last thing.

"I'll try."

"Today's going to be all about HAR-MON-"

The warp activates, sending us at a blinding speed.

"- NY! Oof!" Steven fell from the warp, seeing that we now teleported…

Wait. We were in there for how long? Two microseconds?

Then why the hell were other times completely different?

Sigh.

This show needs subtitles.

But anyway, I look up, the spire being slightly blocked by the clouds.

"Whoa… is this where the Heaven Beetle lives?"

"Apparently…" Pearl analyzes.

"All the way at the top." Amethyst almost sounded as if she wanted to complain.

"Might as well go," I say, "or we'll burn too much daylight. Lead the way; I'll cover us from behind."

The two nod and we look at our path, making sure Steven stays close. I scan around the area to see if there's any suspicious activity.

None.

"LYNX, finding anything?"

"Nothing near. Standing by."

Good.

"So, when you fuse, do you turn into a giant giant woman, or just a regular-sized giant woman?" He asks.

I'm an inch taller than Pearl; you make your own conclusions.

And that's especially seeing that I was 5' 8 before coming here as a regular human.

But this was enough for the purple Gem to _really_ start groaning.

"Does one of you control the right arm and the other control the left arm?"

"Imaginative or relative, huh?" Hmm. Makes sense…

"Come on, Steven," Pearl says, both now getting off the pad.

"Wait, these are extremely important questions."

"It'll all be in due time, kid," I say, ruffling his hair. We begin trekking up to these long steps. I'm amazed actually at how the vegetation around here hasn't consumed it already considering its time.

"Phew, there sure are a lot of stairs… how about you form Opal and give me a piggyback ride?"

"No," they went.

"Here, Steven." I pick him up and set him on my shoulders, the kid laughing. I almost gasp at a few… memories.

A flashback sped over my eyes for a quick second, forcing me to look away.

No… enough.

I ignore them for the mission. This isn't a time for you to indulge on that, Matt. You'll keep it, you know that.

He chuckles even more at the notion, probably enjoying the extra height. But it doesn't stop him from asking questions. Then again, I don't blame him. I'm also curious to know how their fusion works.

"What about if you eat a hotdog? Whose stomach does it go into? Or do you share the same stomach? (Laugh) That would be gross!" I heard a faint footstep.

"Contact!"

A bush rustled causing me to set Steven down and aim my shotgun while they summoned their spear and whip respectively. The rustling began to stop and reveal a…

Goat?

"False alarm," I state, reholstering my arm.

"*Gasp* Look out! It's a magical goat guardian!"

I love how he makes some pretty good excuses… if the two were okay doing a Bavarian fire drill.

"Quick, you have to form Opal! It's the only way to defeat it!" I commend you for too much now, kid. He even pretends to duck and cover. "Hurry before it kills us all!"

I thought it was a show that… oh, I said that already, didn't I?

"Ugh, Steven," Pearl walks up to the goat, "we only fuse for deadly situations. Does this look like a deadly situation?"

Well, considering it bit your thumb, maybe.

"Ow! Hey! Bad mountain goat!"

*Bleat*

"Pearl… they took your thumb, Pearl." I couldn't resist.

Amethyst laughs to the point of falling. I did too without falling. It's not everyday I get to see the _animal_ scold the human. I'd rather not translate what it said.

"Darn it. Aw, I'm never going to get to see Opal."

Considering their abilities, I feel like it isn't being used to their full advantage in ending his questions. Is shapeshifting not an option?

Steven eventually began singing a few things about wanting to see a giant woman. We were climbing up a very steep, you could say, land ladder that had every footstep be a rubble filled scratch.

A rock even hit my face.

Amethyst decided to play a prank once we reached a river. Pearl, using her graceful balance, uses the rocks to avoid being wet… despite my insistence that I can easily remove said water…

Her loss.

But Amy comes up looking like the top half of a shark, making Pearl fall… and wetting me in the process.

Fricking. Wetting. Me.

She's a rail thin, curveless, stick of a body. How the absolute _fuck_ does she splash enough to not only get me, but drench my dress completely?

And I'm wondering if someone indigenous has settled here before because I'm pretty sure wooden bridges was not a thought on their minds when coming here.

Amy, being Amy, decides to bounce on it to have a bit of fun with the waves.

Not gonna lie, I wanted to as well. However, I was more focused on the path ahead… and why Steven Jr., the goat so promptly named, even joined us in the first place.

The argument those two had was enough to bring me back, annoying me and making me feel bad for Steven. As much as it looks like this isn't affecting him much, I really beg to differ. Imagine how much he must be hurting on the inside seeing his role models at each other's throats.

Even the group hug he does doesn't look like it helps.

Eventually, we reached an impasse. A bridge of floating land masses was the only way to reach the other stairs, making me think of what to do. Kinda hard to think now that Steven stopped singing. Speaking of…

Steven was riding the goat to this point and it allegedly abandoned us. It started hopping the pieces to get to the other side, bleating as if it was telling us to do that. Oh, wait, he is.

"Wait up, Steven Jr.!"

"Whoa, now!" I exclaim, stopping his momentum and preventing him from falling.

"I'm not sure you can make those jumps," Pearl informs.

"Oh, you should fuse into Opal, and then lay across the rocks like a bridge!"

I stifle a laugh and they look at me, somewhat confused.

"Sorry, the suggestion was funny," I apologize. "Steven's a riot; what can I say?"

"*Sigh* We don't need Opal to get across."

I don't think he'll take no for an answer anymore…

"Can you do it anyway? Please? It would be easier, wouldn't it?" Sheesh, he's practically begging them.

"Not as easy as this!" Amethyst grabbed Steven and threw him to a landmass, somehow making it and landing on it as well. It took some balancing, but I think they're good.

"Oh, wow, Amethyst! That was a really good idea."

"Hah, I know; I'm full of 'em."

Pearl reacted accordingly… meaning very worried.

"Easy, Pearl," I put a hand on her shoulder. "He's resourceful, that kid.

"Yeah! Come on, Pearl, it's safe. Just look."

Wait, that didn't give you the right to jump..!

Amethyst joined in and I could swear that Steven had his eyes become pin pricked just for this occasion. He fell.

The two exclaimed and shared a glance, nodding after.

Amethyst summoned her whip, allowing Pearl to wrap it around herself and dive in for Steven, who was eventually caught after two seconds. The whip became taut and up they went when the line was pulled, the three sitting there in silence for a second.

"That was so great how you worked together. Why don't you do that all the time?"

The two share another glance, and look away… very annoyed. Grr…

It's getting to me too.

I roll my eyes… again… and summon up some sand to make a temporary solid bridge.

"If we're done playing chicken, I recommend we hurry up," I… command. Yeah, command. I used a little more spike in my voice than I intended. They look away, only somewhat ashamed.

I proceed to keep building the sand once we get to the edge. It eventually disappeared when we hit the step to the stairway that for some reason spirals the entire mountaintop.

It takes about 10 minutes to clear them. Imagine living here. You wouldn't want to lug your TV once you're halfway up.

"(Whine) I can't feel my legs anymore…"

"Tell me about it," I add, chuckling after.

We seemed to be in the midst of a small lake where in the middle has a small island and… temple.

Funny how I see and hear so many things related to a 'temple'… yet I have not seen one church in Beach City.

Well… Good. Have any idea how badly we'll be assaulted should people of extremes know about us? I'm not saying I'm a heathen or whatever, but you know that the extreme situation could be true.

"(Instant second wind) Hey, look at that!" Steven made it to the little establishment. "It's a tiny temple!"

Pearl and I walked over to it as well, while Amethyst stood back.

"To be honest, I was expecting something somewhat… different," I judge. Seeing as how it barely reaches my knees…

"No, it's a simple temple; it's just where Garnet said it would be," she reported. "The Heaven Beetle should be inside."

"Check it out!" He peered inside. "It's even got a little beetle bedroom, and little beetle bongos, and a little beetle baby book."

LYNX extended a hologram to allow me an X-Ray vision mode. W… why the fuck would a beetle need a Genesis? "All that for what exactly? And where is the thing?"

"It's supposed to be here. The Heaven Beetle wouldn't leave, would it?" We take a look at our surroundings, but I can't feel anything that small walking about. "Oh, it could be anywhere!"

"Ha, maybe you should freak out some more," Amethyst replies, adding a bit of cynicism to the rest of her sentence, "that's really gonna help us find it."

And I think that's where Pearl gets pissed.

"(Angrily) I can't believe your attitude, Amethyst! And now you're just slouching over here doing nothing!"

Again?

"Hey! It's not my fault that…" *Zoom*

Huh?

I felt and heard something, and I'm pretty sure the goat did too. He started freaking out like animals do with an imminent threat. His bleating starting to reach high volumes.

"You feel that too?" I ask it, almost kneeling down.

A nod and bleat gave me my answers.

"Hey, cut it out! You're scaring Steven Jr.!" He even pushed them apart…

"No, no, it's something _outside_ of those two. But what could it-"

Suddenly, something comes from the water, quickly getting our attention.

"Whoa, now!"

Before anything happens, I quickdraw a few shells into it with no effect. It didn't even faze it… or notice it…

And- whoa!

*Chomp*

"The goat!" It ate it!

"My son…" Steven, not now!

Pearl attempted her own attack by summoning her spear and throwing it. And it eats that too..?

Jesus Christ…

"In here, guys!" Amethyst motioned inside the shelter that was the stairwell, I quickly back flip into it, dispersing the rest of my ammo before reloading.

"It ate my spear! How does something just do that!?" Pearl yelled, once almost safely inside.

The beak of it started pecking through the entrance, barely giving us any leeway.

"Considering that it's about 50 times the size of any eagle," I say, pumping the gun, "I say very easily. It didn't even flinch from my buckshot…"

"(Excited) Guys, this is great!" Steven exclaims. "Now's the perfect time for you two to form Opal!"

For once, Steven has a point. Unless I want to give myself away, my elements aren't gonna be much use here.

"Uh… hmm… He's right," I continue. "If Opal really is your combined prowesses, the best time is now. Considering our options, that's our best bet." The two nod and get in positions.

So how does it work exactly? Do they do certain hand movements? A little dance? A… few lines drawn and some weird mix of a- oh.

Never mind; it's a dance.

A bow starts making making their gems glow and off they go.

Pearl, being… Pearl, starts off with a piano and stance similar to ballet, one of grace and poise.

Amethyst, since she probably knows more about human culture than Pearl and Garnet… and maybe Steven and Rose combined, goes with popular music, I swear I can hear it, and starts low key swinging to straight up twerking, one of free form and fun.

Hmm. They don't mix, do they?

Even Pearl groans from that.

They attempt to get closer by spinning or sidestepping respectively and they go to grab each other… and failed. Pearl, since her style involves exact movements, accidentally elbowed Amethyst's face, causing a choppy grab. Ouch.

They begin to glow completely now. Engulfed in light, they start to change shape, much to both Steven's and my amazement. But something went wrong… again.

It nearly completes, but something falters and they start to destabilize, forcing the two out.

Amethyst was the first to speak. "(Annoyed) So you wanna try that again? With less hitting me in the face this time?"

I think this is the first time I facepalm for good reason… and with me actually being genuinely annoyed.

"(Pissed) Well, it would have worked if your movements weren't so erratic and formless," Pearl retorts, also somewhat annoyed.

I've met enemies who aren't this uncoordinated…

"So it's all my fault? Ho ho, you totally weren't even trying to sync with my dancing. (Loudly) You should know how I dance by now!"

Grr… heat starts to come off my body, almost furnace like. Damn it, I'm at my limit..!

"Moira..?" Steven went, slightly concerned.

But I ignored him.

"(Stern, lowly) Will you both (Suddenly shouting) _**stop** _**that**!?" A pulse of my own power discombobulated the two and forced cracks on the ceiling and walls when I yelled. They were pushed away my the sheer force. "I do _not_ know what it is that's basically **forcing** you two to be at each other's throats, but I've reached the end of my patience!" Fire starts forming on my shoulders.

The two quickly start to make excuses, only making the flames I had get hotter. "Moira, no-" "We didn't-"

"I **don't** want to hear it!"

The ceiling crashes in, allowing the bird to peck in and start screeching at us.

Shut. The fuck. UP!

Slapping this fucker's beak, I make sure to dictate who is the law here. "You shut your lousy, lowdown, loudmouthed feathery ass the hell up!"

"Caw!" Grabbing me with its talon, I prepare for the worst, especially considering that my angered flames went down as soon as it did. I get a quick glance at the others before I was thrown away.

"Crap." _Yeet_!

"Moira!" The shocked looks that the others get only solidified the gravity of the situation. I was sent flying high, the bird thing reaching great altitudes. I reoriented my nerves and get ready.

"Let's dance!"

Releasing myself from it's grip, I quickly jump up from it's beak, reaching faster speeds than I anticipated. Not a problem since I can fly, but I was too pissed to remember that.

"Hope you brought your appetite!" I straighten myself to fly directly straight down its gullet. For good measure, I even aim my Scatterpoint to see if it'll do any other damage at all.

"Matthew, what are you doing!?"

"Don't tell me you have a fear of this, girl; I thought you weren't programmed for fear!"

"Human emotions aren't that complicated, but I really hope you know what you're doing!"

"If I can't kill it from the outside, maybe it just needs a pill!" It opens up. "Side effects may include upset stomach!"

*Boom!* *Ricochet*

"Internal bleeding!"

*Boom x 2*

"And a high likelihood of death! Rah!"

*Boom!* *Chomp*

*Bang* *Thud*

*Clunk*

*Bump*

*Slam* "Oof! Ow…"

Damn, that hurt.

When was the last time I did that?

I raise my head to crack my neck; I wasn't expecting solid organs and it really-

Solid?

Huh? I knock the… floor, seeing that it _is_ solid…

What the..? I look around and see an actually well lit crevice, making me wonder…

Why is this solid and not- *Bling!* I look at my hand.

Oh, right. It's a corrupted _Gem_.

At least it isn't terribly lethal.

I stand up, brushing what I hope isn't acid off me. If this bird is anything like a real one, it would've burned a bit. Guess it wasn't. But then seeing as how a lot of things are in here, like bits of tree, a boat and a car tire for some reason, maybe I can find-

*Bleat*

Hmm?

"Oh, look at that."

Steven Jr. survived. It seems to be chewing on something.

"Eating after being eaten; I don't blame you." It's like feeling sleepy after seeing someone else yawn, contagious.

After closer inspection, the thing he's chewing on doesn't seem to be breaking down.

Then again, beetles are very-

"*Gasp* The Heaven Beetle!" I went to grab it… then stopped.

Someone like a goat isn't gonna give up that easily. No problem.

"I'll trade you this better made beetle for that one," I bargain, bringing out another beetle, a real one. Kinda bigger too.

Some things crawl in there and they never see the light of day again. Well… outside natural light anyway.

He bleats almost happily, dropping the other one. I quickly kneel down and grab it so it doesn't escape.

"Hello, little MacGuffin." What would they need them for? Remembering back on it now, it's not like they've told me there's a certain quality or ability they-

*Crunch*

Suddenly, a hand pierced through the belly, probably trying to get me. I'm thinking it was Pearl… until I realized that it's more purple tinted and much, much bigger.

"What the?"

Another hand appeared, confirming that it's at least one of the two or something… until two more came in, almost freaking me out a bit.

"Kid, don't freak out," I tell it… and almost chuckle at the joke before it got taken away, freaking out. "Damn."

Yep. One soon to another.

I run to a hand, allowing it to grab me… though I kinda wished it went lower than my upper body.

"Augh! These things are sensitive, you know! Eyeet!"

Gross! Ugh! Bird flesh!

Ugh… worse than being born…

I was eventually brought close to the origin of said arms, Steven and his goat apparently passengers of it as well.

"Steven!"

"Moira!"

I didn't get to see much except for an exploding bird and it turning into a bunch of broken up shards, becoming small beak versions of its predecessor.

"Opal?" I hear from Steven.

Looking at my savior, I realize that it really was someone else.

A gem on her forehead _and_ the crest of her chest told me that they fused.

So that's fusion, huh? An increased sense of power, all their abilities combined… and Amethyst being right.

Except for the no extra legs, it's mostly the both of them… well, mashed together, but in a more organized manner. _Like_ water.

Hmm.

I refocused myself on the onslaught of winged beaks, some of them going a kamikaze attempt and piercing themselves onto the ground beneath us. Opal kept backflipping until she got to the stairs, sliding down on the top of them and jumping off once getting to the end.

Steven didn't stop yelling and I didn't say anything about it since it felt like an odd roller coaster to me as well. Opal soon reached the ground, a landmass a bit further from where we started.

With a very appropriate tone of protective and assertion, Opal let us down and told us to, "Stay low," before summoning both the spear and the whip, mixing the two until they became a very long hunting bow.

Wow… all _my_ fusions only result in mixed enhanced powers. Signature weapons? I never thought to incorporate that…

All flashiness aside, Opal proceeded to knock back the string, making an arrow of light appear soon after.

I hope that's an exploding star or something, girl. One alone isn't enough. There's at least a good few dozen still after us.

The winds surrounding her told me that something similar might happen, seeing that it sorta looks like she's powering that up.

Once try get close enough, she releases the string, shooting the arrow and exploding it to become smaller ones to attack each one, poofing them into oblivion.

*Sigh* Good.

She turns around, allowing us to see her.

Wow… she'd be a total bombshell… if she had a curve in the front like I'm do. But she don't, so she's just a regular bombshell, ha. Plus, with her hair that way, and the way she's dressed, she looks more like a "cooler teenage sister" compared to me. I look caring and outgoing but my hair being purple gives off a more fun outlook.

And mostly cause she's… kinda tall. She extended a hand to allow Steven to get up.

Stare down much, huh?

Steven looks somewhat nervous.

"Uh… do you… know who I am? Who… we are?"

Opal chuckled a bit. "(Singing) All you wanna do, is see me turn into…"

"*Gasp* A giant woman..!"

I also chuckle, mostly at how playful she is.

"So it's not just a combination of power, but also mindset and balance of personality, huh?"

"You know it." I nod.

"Well, you missed one," I say.

"Huh?"

A dragon's breath, literally, was thrown to a remaining beak, no trace of it left. I shot it behind me without looking. "You have your tricks, I have mine. *Wink* Tch tch." *Burp* Smoke came out. "heh, 'scuse me."

The warp back was without incident. We made it quickly enough to see that Garnet had come back as well, drying her… steaming hair.

Right, lava.

"We're back!" Steven announces.

"The Heaven Beetle," she commanded.

"*Gasp* I don't have it," Opal said before destabilizing and unfusing, almost pushing the two away.

"(Accusational) Amethyst, you got distracted!" Pearl instantly sat up.

"Hey! _You_ were the one getting carried away with all those fancy backflips!"

"Girls, girls," I stop them, "those only happened at the spiretop, Amy, and all our search efforts were stopped when I was swallowed whole, Pearl." I take out the Beetle and toss it to Garnet, who put it in a turtle container which held the other one.

"Good job, Moira," she complimented. A bubble appeared around them and takes them away. "I also see you and Steven helped your teammates fuse."

The two look at each other, surprised. When you're with me, shit is happening one way or another.

"And all we have to do was get Moira eaten by a bird," Steven proclaimed… somewhat proudly.

"If that happens, a lot of birds are not gonna like me," I tell him. "Then again, some of the pelicans and seagulls of Beach City do owe me some favors…"

"Nice work, everyone," Garnet said. "You'll be great at fusing one day."

Not me. I'm sorry, but-

"Wait, we can do that too!?"

Huh.

"Considering you're half Gem, I'd say so," I reply. "Now no one bug me please."

I walk over to the seat near the window and lie down, finally relaxing from the vibes today.

Yep. Feeling better.

Well, considering this is my "bed" and chair, it's not a wonder, is it.

* * *

 **Arcade Mania, to me, was an episode to discover Garnet's Future Vision and a danger plot for multiplying starfish that felt like an excuse. And since Moira is an alien with many abilities that I haven't even shown a good chunk of, its really something she would just pass as "oh" and be done with it and keep it a secret from Steven.**

 **Anyway, next chapter should be soon, and this time, I'll try to keep that.**

 **Hope you enjoyed. See you next time.**

 **RaNd0Mk1D8o3I**


	11. Chapter 11: So Many Birthdays

**What is up, people's and persons?**

 **You ever get those thoughts, "I regret nothing"? Well, only is that true when there's nothing to do so... wait, that make sense? But anyway, I'm back from the dead to make another chapter from the series I grew to love.**

 **All the legalities apart, I don't own Steven Universe or any of it's affiliates; all rights exclusive to Rebecca Sugar.**

 **Enjoy :)**

* * *

"How can you _live_ like this!?"

Pearl was whining about the fucking **mess** that is Amethyst's room. It's even messier than my pouch… about a few days back. It all got fixed when LYNX helped with her new robots.

"It was fine 'til you guys started whining," Amethyst nonchalantly replies.

"Amy, my _pouch_ is cleaner than this," I complain, putting a few screws in my weapon, "which is stuffed more than sardines in a can, (Whisper) and I've lived longer than you…"

"Sardines?" Pearl asks.

"Figure of speech, Pearl. They're plentiful and quite the odd smell."

"That certainly applies here; the whole temple reeks!" Pearl says with a clogged nose. Steven scouted ahead to see if he can find anything.

I'm gonna be honest, it isn't the worst smelling thing I have smelt. It just smells kinda… fermented.

"I found it!" He yelled.

Ugh, is that tinfoil wrap?

Oh, no.

"What matter of magical alloy is _this_!?"

"Wait, kid, don't open that--" Too late.

He opens it up, a cloud of smog coming after. Whoo! Damn!

"It's a burrito," Garnet calmly states. She's probably seen some shit as well.

"It's the Tuna Burrito from Aqua-Mexican!" Amy exclaims, somewhat proudly.

"The one that's an hour north!?" I ask. "But… wait."

"That place closed like 5 years ago!" the kid exclaims.

They were good while they lasted.

But she basically ignores him and… bites it.

The others flinch in disgust. Garnet and I just stay still. Well, that's a lie; I grimaced a bit. Then again, I heard fermented foods that old is beneficial in some way.

I'd rather not get food poisoning though…

"Huh?"

"What is it, Steven?" I ask. He was looking at a portrait.

"It kinda looks like you guys and my mom," he replied.

"Oh, Steven, that _is_ us!" Pearl happily said, probably forgetting the stench now.

I'm used to it already.

"Really?"

"The hard part was getting the shark to pose," Garnet joked. That was funny.

Hmm. But… "Wait, when was that?" I ask.

"That was much later in time after we met you, Moira," Pearl replies. "Give or take 3 or 4 hundred years back from today."

"Why is everyone dressed like old timey people?" Steven asks.

Huh. They kinda look like… wait. Is this the revolutionary war!?

"They _are_ old timey people." Pearl proceeded to hang it up using the junk as a hook.

I'm gonna say hopefully not.

It's a shark posing and that seems to be an ocean, not a river, so…

"Wait, but that would mean… how OLD are you guys?"

" _Much_ older than any human!"

"Except for me, of course," I whisper. You guys are about 3 to 6 or 8 thousand whereas I'm over 250 thousand. I'm physically 18 now, but still. I made sure no one heard me.

"Does that mean you'll live forever!?" His excitement rose.

"No, no." She took one small look at me. "I'm not sure about Moira, but we don't age, albeit we can still get hurt and die." Her reply seriously impacted Steven.

Amethyst suddenly doubled over, moaning from the burrito that was killing her from the inside.

And _that's_ why I never tried fermentation.

"Food poisoning is not a possibility, however."

"I just can't believe you guys are like a bazillion years old! How do you find a cake big enough for all those candles?" LYNX takes some quick calculations on a screen and grunts.

"You can't; 37 million candles? Good luck finding one that fits 80," I say, receiving the numbers from LYNX.

Pearl and Garnet exchanged glances.

"But we don't really celebrate birthdays," Garnet told him. And that was enough to have him commit a huge gasp.

"Why not!?" Sheesh, kid.

"It's not our way."

"Well I can't just ignore this travesty of 'unjustice'. I pledge that you will have your birthdays, with all the candy, cake, and ice cream you've been denied!"

"Um… you're doing that just for these three, right?" I ask. "I've already all of celebrated mine."

"Really? How?"

"Uh." Damn it. I was hoping he didn't ask a follow up. "Traditionally." I dart my eyes.

Okay… Amy needs help. If that heaving told me anything, this is gonna get messy… er.

* * *

One does have to wonder how physics work. In just less than an hour, Steven had already set up a good amount of party decor to the point of LYNX floating there with a pointy hat.

"And the birthday queen is… Amethyst!" He even set up a throne that I think was a little too far. I'm probably biased on that since it affects me personally, but I think it's making him happy. "I hope you like it. Dad made me this outfit and it brings me special birthday luck every year." We were sitting across from them while Steven set her up with…

A robe and… *Gasp* crown..?

The breathing falter did not get past Pearl.

"Moira, are you okay?" She said, softly.

I quickly try to regain my composure. "Yeah, Pearl, I'm fine. Just…" I rub my temples. "Some memories shook loose. I'll be fine; thanks for worrying though."

Steven's singing was interrupted by Lion, who was fussing with the string on the hat.

"Lion, you're killing me."

You should rename him Smalls. Eh?

Any minute with the tomatoes now…

"Um, Steven? I know you put a lot of effort into… putting faces on things. But could it be that we're just a tad _mature_ for this ritual?"

Relatively speaking, you should be. Metaphorically, probably not.

Amethyst for sure isn't, especially considering her behavior as the Purple Puma… and that she's using a hat to simulate your nose, Pearl.

"Boop!"

"Doh!" She quickly gives chase. "You will remove that this instant!"

I gotta be honest, it made me laugh.

"Wait!" Steven also chased, but only to give Amethyst something. "Here!"

A bat with a ribbon? Oh, so it cures ailments?

"Aw, thanks!" Uh oh. I don't like that look in her eye. "I'll use it all the time!" And I knew it, she was gonna try to hit Pearl.

"No!"

"Amy!" I yell, stopping her. "That's meant to bash this." I lift up the piñata that was on the ground and hand it to Steven.

Soon, Amethyst gets blindfolded to try and hit it. Her swings mean business…

"The Piñata is an artifact from ancient Aqua-Mexico," Steven began explaining before a swing and a miss causes him to panic and run to Garnet, giving her the stick of said bashee item.

And as much as I wanted to correct Steven, now wasn't the time. I'm pretty sure he doesn't need to know that they were first made from goat stomachs. Or bladders, or something.

I never paid too much attention to that.

Following her instincts, Amethyst soon started hitting Garnet, thinking that she got it.

"Am I-- *Swing* getting-- *Swing* close?"

A last hit to Garnet's face left her hair and glasses squashed. I had to suppress my laughter. They may not know much about human culture, oddly enough…, but they can throw a party… again, oddly enough.

"Higher…" she helps. So just how strong is Garnet?

Amethyst soon whacks the thing clear across the horizon of the sea, splashing once it hit a few knots.

"Ha!" She thought she won… damn, that bat is pretty damn resilient. "What next, Steven?"

I look far into the water, trying to see where the epicenter of those waves are. "You were supposed to break it to reveal the candy inside," I interject. "That's the point of those papier-mâché constructs."

"*Gasp* (Almost _genuinely_ heartbroken) Wait, you had candy and you didn't just GIVE it to us?"

"There will be more sweet treats at Pearl's party," he ensures. "I promise." Hmm?

I kinda hoped we were related when he said that.

If they see the way I take _my_ promises…

* * *

And now we're on the cliff.

"Happy Birthday! Honk."

Pearl had the royal garb now and Steven is now… a clown?

A clown.

I really hate clowns…

So does LYNX… she's hiding behind my head, shaking almost. I had to pet her to calm her down somewhat. Like me, she hates clowns but only because it's a fear that was **_somehow_** implemented. I just hate them because they're gross, unprofessional, and just not funny. And that's terrible.

But at least I know it's Steven. And not any other weird old drunk high fu--

"Steven! That is a _brave_ look." Come on, Amethyst…

"No, it's funny," he replies.

"How?" Pearl asks.

"Human culture," I reply, somewhat bitterly. "You _might_ see why."

"Oh! I wrote some jokes!" He took a packet from behind him. Which begs the question, does everyone have a bag of holding here? "Why did Pearl throw butter out the window?"

Hmm… I swear I heard the joke before, but I forget the punchline.

"I give up," I took a second to think. I think I'm the only one who genuinely did.

"You did _what_?" Amethyst asks, very confused.

"To see a 'butter ** _fly_** '!"

I clap my hands and nod. "Heh. Well played, Steven. Bravo."

"I never did that!" Pearl was shocked. "(Hurtfully) Steven, are you telling lies?" And now Steven gets confused.

"N-No…"

"Uh, Pearl," I start, "it's another thing involving clever humor and wordplay; in short, a pun." They still looked respectively hurt or confused. "Well, I tried…"

"Oh, I know! Pearl, do you like pie?"

"I DO like pie," she replied, almost instantly revitalized.

Jesus Christ…

Plus, I never saw Pearl eating anything… what does she mean she likes pie? Does she think he meant pi?

"Well, then you're in luck, I baked you a pie." Ugh… That face, tho… troll face? "(Sarcastically) I sure hope nothing happens to it!"

"Yes, me too."

"Sarcasm is _also_ a different language to you guys, isn't it?" Once again, no response.

Steven takes but two steps before 'tripping'… somehow in slow motion. Pearl got somewhat worried and gained teleportation **just** for this instance.

"Whoa, Steven, I've got you," she caught him before he even moved three inches. She stood him up even. "Be careful; you almost fell right on that--"

Splat* "Oh, my God…"

"See, Pearl? It's funny!"

A dart of the eyes and she teleported again, this time behind Garnet. I know she doesn't have that power; it just looks like it.

She seems to be whispering something to the taller Gem.

"Pearl says she's all partied out and she's ready to go home," she talks for her.

"*Snicker* Lightweight…" I snark, smiling at that fact.

"This isn't going at all like it should," Steven got down a bit. He took his wig off, his hair proofing out, somewhat funnily. "I've got to pull out the ultimate birthday."

Steven… you do try too hard…

* * *

And yet, another transition into an empty lot nearing the Big Donut. Hmm.

"Okay, there's no way you're not gonna love this!" He points to the 3 small cars that consist of a regular sedan, a beetle, and a jeep. He also took out a kazoo. "It's kazoo racers! You get in a car, you play a kazoo, *Plays, what more could you want? Dad used to do this for me every year."

Why are they worried? Sure, he's taking this a little far, but it comes from a good place, damn it.

"(Whisper) I think this is why aging makes humans _die_!" Pearl exclaimed.

"Pearl, that's only if you age improperly," I tell her. "You of a lot should know that Steven and I are very different." Besides, aging isn't even the top 10 causes.

Then again, my humans are different. Aging does take account of about 50% of my version of humans. 40 percent is usually combative reasons, and the other 10 is everything else… and I mean, **_literally_** everything else from untimely death by accidents to broken bones, organs or diseases.

At least, way back then… now it's 0%. I am the last one after all…

"Steven, thank you for the birthday parties, but I don't think we'll need anymore." Garnet? She got closer to him.

"Why not?" he asks.

"Our age is only an illusion and Pearl's pretty sure this ritual is more for human children." She took the crown off.

"(Unconvincingly) Nothing against children!" Pearl, not helping…

"Children? Everyone gets to have birthdays. Seriously, give it a try. You're never too old."

"Steven," I kneel down once closer, "while it is true that everyone gets one, it's more of a subjective thing."

"We're just too big."

"You're not too big!" He attempted to get in one. Despite only knowing him for a good two or three weeks, this is painful to me. And I don't mean that in a funny way. "Y-you just get in, and then, uh…"

"It's a good gesture," I try to console further, "but there are some things that just, well, aren't meant to be anymore."

"I can fit!" Amethyst shapeshifted into an infant, getting in the jeep. "Which way to the baby war? *Accelerates* Eat tread, dirtbags!"

He could only contemplate…

"What if birthdays _are_ just for little kids? What if even _I'm_ too old?"

Not the message I'm trying to convey…

"Steven, no, it--" Amethyst cut me before I had a chance to speak.

"No way! You TOTALLY fit!" Despite being the size of an infant, I'm guessing it only changes your appearance rather than all statistics since she's able to pick him up and badly attempt to shove him in. "Oh, my bad; you _are_ too old."

"Little insensitive, aren't you?" I only say that because you laugh after driving off. "You okay, kid?"

It's not a major thing, but I can easily tell when spirits, in a literal fashion, are crushed. And his? Well…

"I just need to think." He struggles to get up, the car stuck behind him. Not that he notices… "Kazoo Racers suddenly seems undignified…"

He walks away, probably just to walk around town. Meanwhile we have all the decor to put away. I didn't laugh despite that he was stuck was kinda funny.

"Oh, Steven…" A small Tornado Blow gathered the vast majority of what was left. "You meant well."

"How about you, Moira?" Hmm?

"Excuse me?" I look at Pearl.

"Since you seem to know more about human culture than we do, maybe you should allow Steven to give you a party?" Uh…

"Um… I'm not so sure about that…"

"Maybe it'll help him feel better." I can't argue that…

"You should wear these as well.

"Wait, wha--"

I turn to Garnet who was handing out the robe and--

" ** _WHOA, GOD_**!!" I quickly jump back and accidentally fall, exclaiming in surprise. They quickly recoil, surprised at my outburst. "I… um, I'm sorry, but no, please." I stand up and push it back, making her grab the robe and crown completely again.

"Moira, why not?" Pearl asks, now concerned.

"It's…" I darted my eyes, not even daring to look at them. "I have a few… um… _issues_ concerning royal accessories… even if it's fake."

"But… why?"

Memories flashed before my face, reminding me of something. "I sort of have a… well, you can call it a personal vendetta… And a promise."

Pearl seemed to understand. "Oh! That's okay, then."

"Your loss." Garnet put the garb back on, smiling.

"So, then… you're gonna keep wearing it?"

"It makes me feel… important…"

"No argument there," I say, but only half meaning it.

The decorations are all bundled up by now. It's just a case of bringing it back. In the meantime, I might as well just start recasing my ammunition.

See, the starfish, or whatever the fuck they were, poofed with quite a few bullets each and remained mostly intact. Plus, I always take the casings as to not leave a trace and for recycling. So all that I need is powder and priming and I can easily make it myself.

Now it's just a matter of making my own little assembly line.

"Alright, let's take this back," I state, carrying literally everything else on the table. I raise it over my head and walk back to the temple. But I didn't hear any footsteps. I turn back, confused. "You coming?"

Then again, I was carrying everything. Even to half humans would this be a feat.

They nod. A simple walk back to the temple was all it took to drop them. They know the house better so I left it up to them. After, I set my own little station.

A seat made of stone and I set myself next to the water, using both it and the sand as a way to convert both into what I need.

"What are you doing there, Moira?" Pearl asks, seemingly interested. Garnet and Amethyst are busy trying to put away the other things.

"Well, I showed you the process of how my guns work those two millennia ago," I say, making sure to have things lined up, "but I didn't go into major detail."

I may have a good supply of ammo but I don't take chances. The battle took at least a good 30 thousand due to all the things that kept multiplying and drilling. So, I figure I can do something to compensate.

Okay, line the case up, heavily concentrated amount of chemical injected into the primer, insert it underneath, fill the case with very compact powder, and shrink the edge somewhat to hold the custom bullet. Set it to the side and fill the magazines once there's enough.

It may seem like bs, but it works for me. LYNX helps with the extreme perfect alignment that is the science of it.

Also, little nickname from myself, but the small ones are called Little Johns, the mids are regular Johns, and the bigger are Long Johns.

316\. Think about it.

"But now and then, I'll switch it up to my elements."

I also have a few special bullets like Flaming or Frozen Johns. Here's what I mean.

Think hollow point mixed with a shotgun shell fragility which dissolves immediately after being fired. Instead of a solid metal as the projectile, it's a case of either the elemental aura, chi, or ki (or whatever else you can classify and personally like, :D), or the actual element itself, meaning my guns can literally breath fire, strong piercing winds, ice and even rocks and water.

Though, I think the joke is when Life is named Saint Johns.

You'd think I'd sell it for profits or whatever, but it's not that simple a thought. Can you imagine how chaotic the world would be should they realize that I can do this?

Besides, I stick with the regulars and use them only for special purposes. If it can knock back Amy with just one normal shot, imagine the specials.

Also, no one has this specific caliber. The closest mil is 8.264 and no one has that either.

All in all, this makes for something I feel is unique.

"This is all very interesting, Moira," Pearl concludes, after seeing every little aspect of my weapons, "Primitive, yet effective. But if I may ask, if it's not too intrusive?"

"What is it?" I was a little busy with the row of components but I could still respond.

"Why is it you didn't want the crown?"

Everything dropped instantaneously as my arms went down. She jumped somewhat and gasped but didn't say anything.

"I… I-I don't want to talk about it…"

"I'm sorry… it's just, you say you have a personal vendetta yet… you don't act as if it is. Wouldn't someone be destroying those garments if they did?"

Well…

I nearly start to tremble, shakily remaking the line again. But instead of sitting, I stand up, working the will to tell her.

"*Sigh* Okay." I stop my activity for a minute, letting everything fall gently. "You've been here long enough hopefully to truly _know_ what a promise is."

"I do." She realizes. "Wait, you…"

"Yes and no." I cross my arms and slouch a bit, avoiding eye contact once she kneeled a bit to sort of see me. I even extend the seat and motion for her to sit down comfortably. "Can you keep a secret?"

"Of course, Moira."

Hmm. Alright.

"Back then, before everything happened, I had a few… wives. We believe in polyamory so it's not something off the norm. We ran a monarchy together but I never wore anything to signify that, sans my compass rose insignia…" I show her the sign on my pouch and weapons.

And here's the other part.

"So I made them a promise that I wouldn't wear anything related to it, even if it was fake. I never liked anything of the sort, making me look more important than others when I feel that we all are equal. They were happy with theirs and their happiness was all that mattered to me. But… that's also another thing…"

My breathing faltered. Pearl listened in completely and didn't make any remarks.

"Just _seeing_ any crown makes me go into flashbacks; terrible memories that I hope I can erase one day. It may not be soon, or maybe ever, but I make sure I give it my all until one end result happens."

I don't think I ever said that to anyone before.

"Moira… I'm sorry…"

"*Sigh* No, it's okay. It isn't your fault." She placed a hand on my shoulder, essentially calming me down. "I know that it isn't the most regular reasons, but they're my reasons."

I look deep into the sea, wondering what lies ahead. Times like these make me thankful that I'm still here, still fighting and alive and keeping my promises.

"Pearl." I begin to smile. "Thank you."

"What for?"

"For millennia, I've been running around, not slowing or stopping until I met you guys. You were the first ones to treat me with kindness, even if it was with a rocky start."

Her hand went off, probably to rub it with the other one. "Right…"

"Either way, it's been fun." I turn to face her. "And I'll gladly help as long as I need to."

"But your mission--"

"Can wait. Once it all comes back, they'll understand." She smiles at the notion, prompting me to nod. "Hey, listen, just give me a few minutes to clean up here and I'll catch up in a bit; like you, I prefer not to leave a trail."

"Of course, Moira." Pearl leaves to deal with another matter. Picking up what I already had done, I stack them up in my magazines, ready for action.

A click of every weapon loading it's rounds was enough to satisfy my needs. Stored in my pouch, I leave my main pistol out, as well as my revolver.

"LYNX, I know this is illegal, but could you please try to access this state's files and put my name in their carrying lists?"

"Actually, this is a Virginia related state; similar to many forms of your United States. There's not much you need except for concealed carry. I can go and do that instead."

"Go ahead. And make sure it tells me I'm 18, at least. True, technicalities, in my physical time within 3 months I will be, but just in case." And 3 months for my time will need a good 27 _thousand_ years here.

I think I'll outlive the Gems before I see my own birthday.

"Affirmative." A filing cabinet appears, her jumping in in a diving suit.

"LYNX, you make my day," I chuckle. I walk back as well, seeing if I need to help with anything. I'll be honest, today was kind of a roller coaster of a day. From the search to the parties and now this…

Well, it reminds me that my life is okay for now. I reach the temple to catch up with the Gems, them about to put everything away. I guess Amethyst had a little too much fun with the car. But before we go in, I hear patters of deep footsteps.

"Lion?" I look through the fog, a said shape running through with… who is that?

He's soon dropped. I try to see who it is and I was hoping it wasn't who I thought it was. The red shirt, the pants and sandals.

"(Whisper) Steven?" I ask, worried.

"Steven!" Pearl stood there in shock while Garnet and Amethyst rush closer. "What's wrong with him!?"

"He's okay," the purple Gem cradled his head. "He's just really, really, really, _really_ old."

I knelt down next to him, wondering on what to do. I never had to deal with something like this!

"Gems can't die from aging," Pearl freezes again, "(Tearing) but he's half human…"

"Can't we fix him?"

Steven struggles to say something.

"(Weakly) My birthday suit might help."

We look at Garnet and she flourishingly removes the cape and crown and sets them on him.

"There! Good as new..! Right..?"

"Thanks, guys, but I guess this suit's all out of birthday magic." He sat up, but with as much difficulty as his years seem to show. "We had a good run, huh?" He ages further somehow, scaring the hell out of me.

"Steven..!"

"More birthdays," Garnet commands, grabbing Pearl and Amethyst. I didn't know what to do. I was thinking of whether or not to conjure up something sorcery related to stop, but I didn't know if any side effects can happen.

"Check it out, B-Day Boy!" Amy became, well… "I'm a tiny car!"

"Beep beep."

Garnet was on top, driving… rather comically. I wanted to laugh but it wasn't the time.

But Amethyst wasn't able to take the weight or something because she transformed back.

"Kid… stuff…" Steven could only age further, making me freeze again.

"Steven… what are you..?" I reach out, struggling to keep in the tears.

T… tears..? What?

"Ooh, piñata time!" Amy tried turning into one, effectively only making things worse. He turned old to the point of nearly being a skeleton. The wheezing scared me to no ends.

"Th-This isn't working! (Worried) Try something else!" I yell at them to change their tactics.

"Pearl! Get over here!" Amethyst ran to the side, probably dragging her over.

"I can't!"

"For **Steven**!"

If she's yelling like that, that's when you know this isn't good.

She carried the taller Gem here with the clown costume he had earlier with a pie in hand. However, her emotions couldn't be held in check.

"(Tearing) Oh, look! I have what, um, what appears to be a delicious pie. I sincerely hope nothing happens to…" She couldn't take it anymore and completely breaks down, only bringing me further as well… "Oh, Steven!" Her pie faceplant elicited very mixed feelings, but because she couldn't control her blubbering, it only made things worse.

Amethyst couldn't take it either. "(Angrily) Are you trying to kill him faster!?"

Pearl stared at her for a second before breaking again and nearly strangling her friend, holding her in a headlock almost.

"Guys, that's not helping!"

Garnet went in between them, getting close to Steven. She sat up before carrying him, getting an idea…

Shaking him!?

"Garnet!"

"Garnet, stop!" I rush up and immediately tackle her, getting Steven in the process. His hair began easily falling out, only furthering the turmoil. "What the hell were you thinking!?"

She stood up from her spot. "I thought… violence… would be the answer…"

"Damn it, Garnet, how could you--"

"Moira..?" I hear.

"Steven…" I set him down next to Lion again, making sure he can see me. My tears start flowing now, unsure of what to do or say.

"Sis…"

"Yes, Steven, it's me… (Cracking) It's your big sister..!" I… "Please, Steven, stop acting like this! This isn't you!"

He weakly looks up, showing that he heard me.

"Do it for me, little brother!"

"'Little brother'!?" Amethyst asks.

"(Softly) Damn it, girl," I state, gently putting him down, "(Loudly) I care too much for him, alright!?"

My tears were something that shocked them. All emotions shown, and my caring side hasn't shown up much, it seems.

"Before him, no one did, okay!? (Cracking) You guys are the only family that I have! But I can't lose him! Not after everything I went through! He was the only one who ever treated me with kindness in spite of who I really am!"

I couldn't take anymore and kneeled down to sob, in fear of losing my brother.

"Please…" she goes. "Someone save him!"

"But… we don't…"

"What do you mean you don't know!?"

We stood there for a few, arguing back and forth on how they couldn't do anything. As much as I wanted to do something, I didn't want to fuck up with Steven's biology any worse than it is right now.

"(Weakly) Would you all please (Assertive) control yourselves!?"

We stop to suddenly see him regress to being a regular adult, looking much healthier now.

"What… the..?" Fuck?

"Ugh, oh, no." He regresses into a teenager… "Oh, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have yelled."

Uh…

"But I can't stand to see you (Progresses) freaking out like this!"

Wait… I get it now!

"Steven, you're changing!" Garnet exclaimed.

"Your age is fluctuating," Pearl informed. "I think your gem is reacting to your state of mind!"

"Steven! Stop! Feeling! Old!"

"But I wasted your time…" He went back to the old man he was. "We all have such little time…"

"Steven, no!" I state, getting his attention. "You know that isn't true! What happened to the everfree kid who loved life? The one who always tried to put a smile on everyone?"

"You have to feel like yourself! Sweet and considerate and only occasionally obnoxious!"

" **Not** helping, Pearl," I scowl.

"You really think I'm all those things?" He asks, somewhat hopeful.

"Kid, you're a Godsend!"

"Why else would you throw us all those parties?" Amy asks.

"Oh my gosh, you're right." His happy thoughts must be coming back considering his age is returning to normal. "I _am_ pretty great."

"Steven!" We all rush forward to hug him, despite his tall stature… Using my closest arm, I wipe the tears from my face, almost about to drown in happy ones.

"Damn it, kid, don't scare us like that again!"

"Considering what we went through," Garnet stated, "we'll work on the rest later."

Yeah, why is he tall?

We look down and see the result. His legs are still older. He started laughing and bouncing side to side.

What matters is that he's safe. Seriously the kid scared the fucking living _shit_ out of me.

And that's saying something…

* * *

 **So... was this good? Lol** **I feel like I've missed a few details here and there, but I got the vast majority of what I thought was okay. Like last time, I'm gonna skip over a few, namely Lars and the Cool Kids as well as Onion Trade since it's not really something that heavy with plot as this one was. They're interesting episodes, but Moira wouldn't have much of an impact on it regardless.** **Hope you enjoyed. See you next time.** **RaNd0Mk1D8o3I**


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